Well dahlings, here she is. Ms. Britney Butt Cheeks herself. This is from the MTV VMAs last night, where Brit was supposedly going to rock the house by opening up the show with her dazzling comeback. Instead, I nodded off. I remember coming to long enough to think “I stopped working for this? What a jip!” (And yeah, I know the word “jip” is a fossil, but hey, I was in REM sleep for crying out loud!)
Anyway, so her performance was reminiscent of a twelve-year-old in her first talent competition. Whatever. What I’m here to talk about is the fashion. Or lack of it in this case. Now, if you’ve seen me talk about J. Lo, you know that I am usually most forgiving of the curvy chicks of the world, but damn, if you’ve got curves (which the ex-Mrs. Federline definitely has), dress accordingly. Accentuate the positive and the rest? Cover it the hell up! Nobody wants to see jiggles and bumps, no matter how many pairs of Spanx you’ve layered on. Brit’s had two babies. I get it. But if you’re a super star looking to make a much-needed positive impression, you goldamn better look like you mean business. Tone up or cover up.
These are my thoughts. Et vous? What sayeth you about Brit Brit’s sparkly get up? Pull up a Kamikaze and let ‘er rip…
Pic from E