‘Desperate Housewives’ episode 5.22: ‘Marry Me a Little’

Desperate Housewives “Marry Me a Little”
Air Date: May 10, 2009

I may or may not have tricked Neighbor Peggy away from grading papers by saying that tonight was the season finale. At the last minute, I set the record straight, but it was too late. She was already in my apartment. On we go with the show! (Did that rhyme? …nevermind, DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES IS STARTING!)

9:01: First thought: Isn’t that an awful lot of scotch that Bree just poured for Karl?
9:02: I’m totally loving this Dick Tracy-like meeting between the two of them. Did Karl just call Bree “Freckles”?? Are we watching “Lost,” or “Desperate Housewives”?
9:03: Karl’s painting this horrible fantasy to Bree about a 20-something replacing her. I love that he knows just what to do to press the buttons of EVERY woman on this show. I love Karl. I’m just going to say it. I don’t love him as a human, of course, but as a character? Can’t get enough
9:04: Is…uh….is Crazy Dave’s collar popped??
9:06: Juanita’s really working the “I can be just as bratty as mommy” angle, isn’t she? She has also become a pretty good little actress this season, though.
9:08: So we’re still seeing The Return of Jackson: the Unlikable Version. Like reader Jamie pointed it, this probably means that he’s an expendable character.
9:09: Lynette and Tom are talking about Twitter. Is this “Desperate Housewives’” attempt to be with it and cool with what all the kids are up to these days? And Tom’s going on about how he went into an interview and was 10 years older than everyone else. This is EXACTLY what happened when Lynette tried to go back to work. Why are we reusing all these story lines? (Susan was faked-married to Karl to get health insurance, too, remember?)

9:10: Peggy’s not thrilled that Lynette’s not being nice to Tom through his crisis. “She’s being remarkably unhelpful for Lynette.”
9:12: Mike’s reaction about the fast marriage is pretty fantastic. Mike and Susan WILL get back together before the end of the season. I’m calling it right now. I don’t know if they’ll get GET back together, but there’s definitely a smooch coming at the very least.
9:17: Are we being set up to watch a Gaby and Carlos re-poorening, too? Whoa, commercial break — really abrupt, almost cutting the scene short, wasn’t it?
9:23: Bree is by faarrrr the prettiest thief EVER.
9:25: Peggy’s agreeing with me about the sexual tension between Karl and Bree.
9:27: Man, I’m not loving Jackson at ALL right now. Hey, SelfishPants Mcgee.
9:28: Lynette’s so right about Tom looking better as he ages.
9:29: “Orson we’ve been ROBBED!” – Bree. “It wasn’t me. I swear.” – Orson. YES!! HAHA!
9:34: I’m watching this scene between Gaby and Fran, and screaming “It’s the shopping! That’s why she’s there!”
9:36: Ooohh, oh! Mike’s looking longingly. And asking Katherine stupid questions about dates. Proposal coming??
9:37: He’s going to break her heart.
9:38: There’s some fond recollecting going on here with Bree and Orson. No divorce after all?
9:39: Does Katherine really believe that Mike’s only proposing to her because Susan and Jackson are getting married?
9:41: Aight, so what’s Dave going to do with the information that Jackson’s at risk of being deported?
9:46: Oh man. Karl’s going to read Bree’s mind about her divorce cold feet. I’m so excited for this. That was …. not what I was expecting. Karl’s being compassionate?
9:47: Amy’s new wish for the series: KARL AND BREE PLEASE MAKE OUT OMG. PLEASE.
9:48: “I’m dying for you to meet Bruce.” -Lynette, who’s bringing over Botch Nips/Tucks Bruce over for dinner. I’m dying to meet him, too.
9:49: Does the guy playing Bruce actually exist? And his face? Does that actually exist, too? Eek.9:50: Lynette and Tom both are beautiful and have aged insanely well. I want to look like they do. And I want to be in a relationship like theirs, too. That is all.
9:52: Gauaranteed Katherine just sent that text to Susan’s phone.
9:53: Yep. “So she’s just going to secretly pay Susan’s alimony??” — Peggy
9:57: Jackson’s becoming a little bit more likable. Maybe this means he’ll live?
9:58: Smiling Crazy Dave in the background = cause of Jackson being taken away in the foreground… I believe that answers my question re: 9:41.
9:59: YES. The storage company Bree’s using just called Orson. This is going to be GREAT.
10:00: I think Mary Alice just told us that Mike still loves Susan! Thank you, Mary Alice!
10:01: AAHHHH!!! The preview for next week! Dave said he had to kill M.J. (which probably means that he didn’t really do it). Carlos “takes in” a hot teenager (John Rowland, anyone?). Lynette has cancer. Orson would put Bree in jail. Oh. My. God. Why do I have to wait a week for the season finale?????

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    • http://www.myspace.com/cubjam11 Jamie

      -Oh my GOD! “Karl” commented a few blogs back that he thought that Lynette is PREGNANT! I think he was right!! (Way to go Karl! — I mean, if you’re right…) ;-)

      -I KNEW that Mike still loved Susan! I just knew it! I’m jumping up and down. (Not really)

      -Katherine is officially the new town biznitch (trying not to curse here) after hacking Mike’s email to text Susan. Baaaaad! (I loved Edie — but the show needs a town biznitch.

      -Gaby is going to be humbled, and very soon. Hopefully, for the kids’ sake.

      -I loved Lynette’s speech to Tom explaining the wrinkles. Richard and I had our hands over our mouths and started welling up a bit. We are so…. um… sensitive. ;-)

      -MJ will be fine. He’ll probably push Dave off a cliff and need therapy. Upcoming fun for Susan and Mike — you know, after they’re back together.

      -I work in retail management and we have a regular female customer who looks like a female “Bruce”. I’m going to call her (in my mind) ‘Brucette’ from now on!

      -Oh, sloppy, sloppy Bree. For someone so organized — she really blew it with the storage unit.

      *Note to self: Tie up some loose ends with the prenup. ;-)

      Amy we have GOT to plan a party around the final episode. I’ll make my world-famous (not really) sangria! MMMMMM!

      Great cover of the show, as always!

    • http://ann@Sergesketter.com Ann serge

      Anyone love gabby solice’s red/orange dress?
      If so where can I find out where to buy it ?
      Please help!!!

    • Karl

      Well, Jamie, once that supposition came up, it made sense that Lynette was going to be pregnant with all the sex they’ve had in the last few episodes.

      1-I love Karl, the character, he’s great. (And that’s not why my nickname is Karl, it is my real name after all)
      2-I swear I’ll hate Mike aif he breaks Katherine’s heart ! I swear ! He better not be doing what the storytellers are inclined to let us believe… The show is Desperate Housewives and we sure saw this come out of Katherine (damn I love her!) She took to her computer to prove that desperate people will take desperate measures for love…
      3-Here’s my list of expendable characters (read killable): Dave, Orson, MJ, and Mike if he turns out to be a douche.
      4-I always preferred Parker to the twins… is it me or he’s just more likable, nerdy and a mommy’s son and all?
      5-IT’S ON. Now Orson’s going to get MAJYJAY revenge on Bree ! All hail !
      6-I like the dialogs between Carlos and Gabrielle (“she bingoed her house away” and also very funny was when she told her youngest girl that she she “really get her tested!”) but let’s face it, this season, they both had nothing to deal with, and the same can be said of every character this season if you compare it to season 1.
      7-I will always remember Susan for kicking that feet nails-cutex chinese girl in Season One. Let’s hope that she doesn’t break Mike and Katherine’s marriage or I’ll want to kick her in the face.

    • Jaz

      any one else besides me and Jamie get a little emotional when Lynette was explaining how she sees her marriage in tom’s face? that was SO beautiful it made me cry. I absolutely love them.

      I hope Lynette doesn’t have cancer again. It was weird though cuz i was thinking like 4 days ago “what if Lynette got cancer again…”
      is this show ..PREDICTABLE?
      Oh well I dont care if it is or not i still love it. And Amy is right- bree is the prettiest theif ever! I have always loved staring at her bright red hair since season one.=] does anyone know her maiden name?- not van de kamp or hodge? does she even HAVE one?

    • http://www.myspace.com/cubjam11 Jamie

      @ Jaz:

      Lynette is PREGNANT! She doesn’t have cancer. Karl called it first, Jaz, and I wholeheartedly believe he is right. :-)

    • jaz

      Jamie- i thought tom got a vasectomy after penny was born? or was that carlos? or neither one?
      hmmm that would be pretty cool if she is pregnant. although I’m sure she wouldn’t think so

    • http://www.myspace.com/cubjam11 Jamie

      Hey Jaz — I think Tom came back and told Lynette that he didn’t have the vasectomy done, and explained why. Lynette stopped pressuring him after that. (I’m pretty sure about this)

      But if you ever watched “The Young and The Restless”, Victor Newman had a vasectomy and still got Nicki pregnant. They don’t always “take”.

      The synopsis of the upcoming show was something like, “Will one of the housewives be happy about the news from her doctor?” (Not quoting verbatim) and in the preview, Lynette asks the doctor if it’s cancer. Why would they ask if one of the Housewives would be “happy about the bnews from her doctor” if were cancer. Happy + Cancer is an oxymoron.

      I’m pretty sure Karl (The regular Desperate Blog commenter — not the character from “DH”) hit the nail on the head a few entries ago.

      p.s. Karl: Mike and Catherine won’t last. I know somehow he and Susan *will* get back together. Sorry. :(


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