Fashion 101: To Clog or Not to Clog? (With Bonus Chart!)

I’m sure you’ve heard that clogs are coming back in style. When I first began reading this, I have to admit, I was not thrilled. So many clogs are just so, well, fugly. Now, ‘fugly’ is not a word that I, a grown up, usually use, but it seems to be the only term capable of capturing the vulgarity of a clog. Now, I was not around during the ‘70s during the height of the clogs popularity in this country, but I did rock a pair of Birkenstock clogs in the mid 90’s and I remember them being super comfortable. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with comfort right? It’s no style, but it’s important too, right? To figure it out, I decided to take to the streets and try on a variety of clogs and measure their relative comfort against their ‘fugly factor’ in hopes of coming up with the perfect clog. I have mapped out my findings on this handy little chart, so whether you are averse to hideous footwear or uncomfortable shoes, you can find a clog that suits you.

1. Seychelles Care to Dance Clog
These clogs have a great retro-chic look, and a semi-soft padded leather foot bed. However, the 4.5-inch heel with only a 1-inch platform creates an incline that will almost guarantee a neck break. This heel could be a good choice for those who are used to wearing high-heels and can stop after 2 glasses of wine. Otherwise, they are just too dangerous.

2. Lucky Brand “Lila” Openback Peace Clog
The fatal flaw of these clogs is the perforated peace sign design. That, along with the logo metal plates in the back, deem these shoes unwearable. Which is too bad, because otherwise they are pretty comfortable. Lucky Brand does make some more subdued styles; I just didn’t have the pleasure of coming across them on my shopping adventure. But that’s what the Internet is for, I guess.

3. El Naturalista Women’s Iggdrasil Mary Jane Clog
These shoes are hideous. However, they are eco-friendly, super-comfortable and scented with tea tree oil. Plus the company takes part in some great human rights initiatives. I want to like these shoes, and I almost feel bad for being mean to them. But I’m sorry, they are just fugly.

4. Sven Cordovan Clog
These Swedish clogs have the traditional, non-bending wood bottom and a padded pigskin undercollar. The hard non-bending wood does take some getting used to, but the support can actually be quite comfortable. It is an acquired taste, to be sure, but the traditional shape, along with the medium heel, makes these clogs actually pretty cute while still maintaining some comfort. I think these are a good, solid choice.

5. Sanita Ute Cone Sandal Clog
These shoes are amazing! Seriously, they are actually pretty fashionable. These are the only shoes listed that I actually own, and I would recommend them to everyone. They look great with dresses, skirts and pants and can go upscale or casual. They also have the traditional wood-bottom, which takes some getting used to, but the platform is high in relation to the heel, so no steep incline. These shoes are a major win.

6. Ugg Abbie Clog
These are very, very close to being a solidly good shoe. As a knee-jerk Ugg hater, I really wasn’t expecting this. But the moderate height, paired with the soft lambswool interior makes these shoes very comfortable, while still looking kind of chic. The deal breaker for me was the Ugg name written on the top of the shoe. Why, Uggs, why? You were so close. If they would just get rid of that, I would certainly buy a pair.

7. Steven by Steve Madden ‘Barc’ Peep Toe Clog
These were pretty cool. However, they were so high that not only did I fear a horrible spill, I also felt a little ridiculous. I mean, do I really need to be towering 4.5 inches over everyone? These shoes did have great online reviews though, so what the hell do I know.

8. Dansko Professional Clog
These are the classic, quintessential clog. They are very comfortable and they are not ugly. They are not especially cute though, either though. Overall a good, solid pair of clogs.

9. Dansko Sissy Sandals
In addition to making the standard clog, Dansko has tons of other styles, including these Sissy Sandals. Walking in these shoes was like walking on air. Much more comfortable than the traditional clogs, which were already great. My only qualm is that there is still something unattractive about them. I can’t put my finger on it. They felt either too old lady, or too little girly, I can’t decide which, but something was not quite right.

10. Softspots Lancaster
Unlike traditional clogs, these Softspots versions have a pillow top sole and are made with very soft suede. They really are a dream to walk in. There is nothing especially offensive about the design, but there really is nothing fashionable about them either. If you are seeking comfort, though, I think these would be a nice choice.

11.Crocs Classic
Crocs. You know they must be comfortable, otherwise how could they get away with being this ugly?

12.Coach Khaki Clogs
Not only are these shoes incredibly high, they are covered in Coach logos. I just don’t get these shoes. In the words of my shopping buddy Alli, “These should not exist.”

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    • canonizer

      no

    • sugarlaws

      love it! (great to meet you last night!!) i just got a cute pair of clogs from benetton, of all places — and they are actually sort of awesome. :-)

    • sugarlaws

      whoops, posted too soon! i met jennifer last night, not brooke! (multiple bloggers on one site, big time!)

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