Thanks For These Handy Bikini Stencils, Cosmopolitan Magazine

I am so excited that the May issue of Cosmopolitan has some bikini line stencils for me to cut out, because you know what really excites my man? When I make a heart out my pubic hair. Or stand in front of him with a downward facing arrows (also made out of pubic hair!) and exclaim “this way for fun!” My man doesn’t think that’s crazy at all because his name is Merlin Ralphing Pendragon, and he has no right to judge.

But it strikes me that there are a few stencils that were maybe left out. Like these ones:

One that reads in bubble letters “I will do anything to make U love me.”

A picture of your child’s face

A little crab picture

A spiky design that looks like teeth (I don’t know if you knew this, but vagina dentata is Latin for “sexypants.”)

A heart with the word “Dad” inside

A fish, shivering.

A sad face (if you nick yourseld it bleeds a bit, so much the better)

And, of course, a cross.

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