You’d Be Prettier If You Had Some Fake Nipples

Fortunately, they’re for sale! In Japan. Because while your normal nipples may be sexy and useful for feeding your infant child they are not made out of plastic. Plastic is the uber-sexy.

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    • Jen Dziura

      That thing you put them in looks like a retainer case. Nice. Maybe you could repurpose your eyelash glue to keep those suckers in place.