• Mon, Jun 21 2010

Carvel Ice Cream Has a Celebrity Black Card

So everyone’s talking about the fact that Dina Lohan’s Carvel black card got confiscated, because contrary to what she sees when she looks in the mirror, she’s not Lindsay, and Lindsay’s name is on the card.

But the real news, of course, is that Carvel has a black card in the first place. So this is like the VIP of ice cream, in which you go in and you can get whatever you want? Do they, like, make you special flavors? Do they always have an ice cream cake ready with your name on it? Exactly what kind of rights are you granted with a Carvel black card that everyone else isn’t??

Also, why do celebrity’s entourages/parents always go around fucking shit up for them? Because really, Dina? You can’t afford the ice cream cake…well, never mind. But in most cases, the celebrity/celebrity’s relative/celebrity’s #5 bestie already gets a whole lot of free shit, has access to a lot of money via the celebrity, and yet still seems to have no qualms about abusing access to swag. For shame, Dina. For shame. Now tell me everything.

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