Science Says Humans Are Special Because They Masturbate

What do humans do that other species don’t? Ride motorcycles. (Except that one gorilla in that movie.) Compose poetry. Talk shit about each other. And… masturbate. More specifically, have romantic sexual fantasies while doing so. According to one scientist, those fantasies and the fact that we’re able to achieve orgasm while having them, is what makes the human animal so darn special. Dr. Jesse Bering, a research psychologist, writes about this phenomenon in Scientific American:

This conjuring ability to create fantasy scenes in our heads that literally bring us to orgasm when conveniently paired with our dextrous appendages is an evolutionary magic trick that I suspect is uniquely human. It requires a cognitive capacity called mental representation (an internal “re-presentation” of a previously experienced image or some other sensory input) that many evolutionary theorists believe is a relatively recent hominid innovation.

When it comes to sex, we put this capacity to very good—or at least, very frequent—use.

See? Your mom is totally wrong about how it makes you go blind! If anything, it makes you important. Hooray for science!

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