• Fri, Jun 25 2010

American Apparel Has New Standards

Not in terms of how they go about hiring people, or not masturbating in front of reporters or anything, just in terms of the kind of jewelry their employees are allowed to wear. And hey, they sound a lot like the old standards! (In case you forgot, the old standards had a lot to do with not overplucking your eyebrows). In case you were wondering, here are some fun things you were allowed to wear:

Bloomers
Petticoats
One ring per hand maximum of one centimeter in width
Micro mesh jumper pants
Vintage classic Cartier style jewelry
American Apparel shoes
Your own, naturally styled hair, not straightened, complimentary to skin tone, with no “overgrowth”.

I’m pretty sure that I’m ineligible to work at American Apparel just based on the fact that I do not know what Micro-Mesh Jumper pants are.

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