Why Did You Kill The Last Unicorn?

Just so you could turn it into awkward high heels? Really, Roxanne Jackson, really? That unicorn’s golden hoofs will never again trot happily over a rainbow! Or give a helpful ride to the tooth fairy. But on the upside, I guess when you talk about how you have to “hoof it” someplace, you’ll be surprisingly literal. So it balances out. Sort of. – Buzzfeed

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    • wintour4pres

      I sincerely hope this doesn’t mean they’re taking the ground hooves out of the unicorn meat. That’s an essential part of my daily calcium intake! Don’t tell me they’re replacing it with the horn, because everyone knows horns are high in cholesterol.