How to Handle a Bridezilla

Yesterday, we made some casual suggestions on ways to avoid becoming a Bridezilla, and alienating everyone who once loved you and being left with no friends after your wedding. Unfortunately, this message will not reach everyone, and that’s why today, we’re providing this guide for bridesmaids, friends, and family to help navigate the murky waters of dealing with a Bridezilla.

Don’t have a confrontation with her within a month of the wedding.
This is a key piece of advice, mostly because it will likely be in this period of time that you most want to rip your bride’s head off, slap her across the face or kick her in the vagina. We understand, and we think that you’re right to feel that way. But there’s something you have to understand about your Bridezilla — this wedding has now consumed her entire life, and utter entitlement has replaced what was once common sense and decency. Within one month of the wedding, this mindset has completely taken hold, and nothing you say will reach the part of her brain that you usually deal with. So no matter how well you phrase your (accurate) sentiment of “you are being an irrational, horrible bitch,” she won’t hear it, and nobody will win.

Look at the big picture.
Why is she acting this way? Does she have long-standing issues with her mother that are bubbling up to the surface? Who is putting the pressure on her, that she’s turning around and putting on you? Trying to understand where she’s coming from may seem like the last thing you want to do, but you might be able to muster up some empathy for the poor little monster if you think about what’s driving her. You’ve known her long enough to comb through her history — try to figure out what’s really going on, and then…

Deal with her as you would deal with a child.
Assume that this grown woman has regressed to about the age of five. Everything is about her, she doesn’t understand the word “share,” the boundaries that she spent her twenties learning how to negotiate have completely eroded, and everything you say that she doesn’t like can, and will, cause a temper tantrum. Give her lots of hugs, reassure her that everything will be fine, and just get rid of the expectation that you will be dealt with as the adult that you are. This wedding has essentially turned into her imaginary friend — trying to wrench it out of her hands, or to insist that it isn’t what she says it is, will only result in tears.

Talk about it after the wedding
If her behavior is above and beyond terrible, if she’s targeted you unfairly, or if you think that what she’s done could seriously jeopardize your friendship if it simmers, table it, and bring it up with her after the wedding is over. Hopefully, unless she’s married a person she isn’t in love with, her regular self will re-emerge and when she hears about what she did when the aliens invaded her body she’ll be mortified. If she isn’t, kick her in the twat.

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