• Mon, Jul 19 2010

Readers, Your Favorite Comic Book Heroine Is Wonder Woman, And I Am Disappointed In You

Readers, when I took the “vote for your favorite comic book heroine poll,” I did not tell you that there was a correct answer. Perhaps I should have. The correct answer was Brenda Starr. I tried to give you a subtle clue by mentioning that I’d be voting for her 700 times. Despite doing that, she only received 3% of the vote, while Wonder Woman won with 21%

Readers, I am perplexed. Did you just not have a childhood where every Saturday morning your hands came away all black and blue from cheap newsprint from reading about Brenda’s latest journalistic adventure? Were there no papers where you lived? Perhaps you missed it when Brenda had a child and named her Starr Twinkle. As someone who went through middle school as Jennifer W, because there were always two other Jennifers in my class, I can tell you Brenda was being a caring and attentive parent when she did that. Or when Brenda learned that writing about food was hard! Because it was! Or when Brenda’s writers basically just spent a few years making fun of Rupert Murdoch!

Fine. I guess you were just swept up in Wonder Woman’s little accessories. Which I’ll admit were pretty cool. I mean, she could channel lightning with her bracelets. And the golden tiara the returned to her like boomerang? That was pretty damn awesome.

And she was a pretty great concept to begin with. Her creator, William Marston originally got the idea for Wonder Woman from his wife. He told her he wanted a new kind of superhero who would fight injustice not with fists but with love. “Fine,” said his wife, “but make her a woman.”

And so he did! Marston later said that “Wonder Woman is psychological propaganda for the new type of woman who should, I believe, rule the world” as she combined sheer intellect and strength with traditional feminine virtues, and some very nice outfits. Gloria Steinem agreed and put her on the cover of Ms. Magazine. Altogether, I guess there are worse people you could choose to emulate.

Though Megan Fox doesn’t agree, and was quoted as saying, “Wonder Woman is a lame superhero. She flies around in her invisible jet and her weaponry is a lasso that makes you tell the truth. I just don’t get it.”

That’s because Megan Fox is the one person who voted for Jenny Sparks 45 times. It’s okay, Megan, and fellow Brenda fans, and very small percentage of voters who liked Evey Hammond. It just means there’s more collectible memorabilia for us.

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