• Mon, Jul 26 2010

Jessica Simpson Cannot Cuddle Without Assistance

It took me a minute to figure out what was going on in this picture. At first I thought it was really bad Photoshop — like, Photoshop that gave Jessica Simpson an extra leg. But then I realized that it’s one of her handlers (or “friends”) holding her up as she straddles boyfriend Eric Johnson (who is from my hometown, in case you missed that post).

WTF? It’s not THAT hard to wrap your legs around a vertical man, especially a man who, for all intents and purposes, should be relatively strong, being an ex-NFL tight end and all. It’s not even like she’d have that far to go if she fell. Possibly time to relinquish a little control, Simpson.

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  • cj

    Dear, that’s HIS hand wrapped around her back. :/

    • Jessica Pauline Ogilvie

      Your use of the word “dear” reminds me of Teresa Giudice’s use of the word “honey.”

  • onesweetworld

    CJ is correct. That is his hand wrapped around her and a separate person in the blue striped bikini standing behind them.

  • Jules

    Still, it’s hilarious. I could see the confusion…

  • dummy

    oh my god are you not embarrassed by how dumb you must feel?