Gallery: Lady Gaga Is Not “Sexy”

Lady Gaga recently opened a concert by yelling to her fans “do you think I’m sexy?” I’m glad I wasn’t at this concert because I feel like I would have been left mumbling, “well, I certainly think you’re fairly subversive, and I think you play off of “sexy” things, which is different from being straight-up sexy. How about “brilliant” Lady Gaga, can I think you’re brilliant like a giant moth lit up by the light of the moon?”

I guess that wasn’t the correct answer, because all the fans yelled “yes”. And Lady Gaga seemed happy with their response.

I still think I’m right.

Look, I like Lady Gaga. I think she’s fascinating. But she’s not sexy. Or, at least, sexiness is not the first thing I associate with her. It might be, like, the 8th.

Britney Spears in her naughty school girl costume? She was sexy. Shakira shaking her hips? Sexy. The Pussycat Dolls in pretty much every item of clothing they own? Sexy.

A lot of the appeal of sexiness is that it’s really, really obvious. You don’t have to think very hard about why a schoolgirl stripping naked might be sexually appealing to people. And I honestly don’t think that the thought process that went into those costumes went beyond “I look hot in this.” Or “I wish I could be naked, but I guess I should wear a little clothing.” Being a pop star is like getting to celebrate Slutoween every day of the year.

Because, to be truly sexy, your outfit should communicate only one thing “I like sex! I like it any way you want it! And you totally have a chance with me!” Lady Gaga’s outfits keep communicating things about, say, the nature of modern warfare and lobsters. This is, perhaps, sexy, but only to Salvador Dali.

Sure, there are guys who find naked girls wearing glasses and holding comic books super sexy, and God bless those men. But as a general rule, sexiness is pretty much divorced from intellectualism. If you see someone sexy, your first impression shouldn’t be, “wow, they’ve really put a lot of thought into exactly what they want to communicate with that outfit.” Your first impression should be “I would like to have sex with that person.” Or, “If that person was within my sexual preference, I’m pretty sure I’d like to have sex with them” (i.e., were I a man, I’m pretty sure I would have wanted to sleep with Britney Spears during her sexy phase).

And it’s about wanting sex. Sure, a relationship with Lady Gaga would be preferable to a relationship with Britney Spears (especially now) but again, sexiness is just about appetitive desires. It’s not about good long term planning. It’s about seeing something and wanting it.

And I just don’t think that’s the first reaction Lady Gaga evokes in people. Can someone be sexy and be other things, too? Sure. Hey, we’re all at least a little bit sexy to someone. But if Lady Gaga were only to pick one word to have her fans describe her as? I just don’t think sexy is the right word.

But I could be wrong. I’m including some of her costumes below. See if they strike you as more intellectual and subversive or just straight up sexy. Though, working on the theory that everything is sexy to someone, I have tried to help by listing some people I’m sure would find the outfit in question sexy.

- “Revenge of the Sexy Nerds” Walrus Magazine.

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    • KateH

      I completely agree with your article. I don’t find Lady Gaga that attractive (especially sans makeup!). Unlike Spears, PCD ect, those girls really were/are beautiful. Spears in her height was hot, you can’t deny that. But Gaga is more a statement, and it’s saying “Notice Me – but don’t touch”. Most of her outfits don’t allow you within 5 feet of her. That isn’t sexy.

    • Jenn

      I’m a girl and I think Lady Gaga is sexy as hell! She’s very confident and in-charge and that sexiness like nothing else.

    • Mike in L.A.

      FAIL: “Britney Spears in her naughty school girl costume? She was sexy.”
      That is what you consider to be sexy?? That’s more like pathetic, needy, money-hungry and desperate if you ask me. She just appeared to be trying way too hard in that infamous music video and what does that say about her own level of self-confidence and intelligence to try to attract men by looking like an underage child?! Physical hotness alone doesn’t equal sexiness. You have to be secure in yourself and have at least a tiny bit of smarts. Normal men run away from needy desperate girls as well as from girls that are dumber than a block of wood, because it can get very tiring to deal with a girl like that.

    • Anita

      Sexiness is in the eye of the beholder. From hair colors to foot binding, there certainly isn’t one denominator of of what defines sexy. I am definitely of the mind that subversive and intelligent is sexy, so to me Lady Gaga is sexy – just not in the generic, boring way of most other interchangeable starletts.

    • Lola

      She’s damn sexy to me. Not always, but who is? She does it for me 100% more than most of the pop ingenues out there. When she’s not hiding behind the crazy get ups, she’s amazingly gorgeous and is my cup of tea. You can not find her sexy, it’s okay, but to claim “Because, to be truly sexy, your outfit should communicate only one thing “I like sex! I like it any way you want it! And you totally have a chance with me!” Is the dumbest shit I have heard in ages. Easy does not equal sexy. Easy is gross unless you’re not getting any and any will do. Sorry some of us like power. Some of us get off on a challenge and a mystery.

      You have a weird notion of “sexy.”

    • gabbi

      I think, one thing her somewhat exaggerated outfits do, is making me realize how clothing is just a thin layer over our naked bodies. Because most things she wears are standalone sculptures, i can’t help but think of what is underneath.
      With your ordinary Jeans or Dress it’s more like they become part of you, they kind of melt onto your body and create your outward appearance. With Gaga you see something bizarre, and a fragile naked body underneath. The perfect contrast. At least that’s how I feel when i see her.
      And yes, I think that is sexy, both for making me think of her naked, and for having the confidence and mind to wear something that edgy.

    • Sara

      Everyone has their own taste. Just browse the netherworlds of internet pornography. Who gives a fuck whether you think Lady Gaga is hot?

    • Aleron

      Try telling us what men you think are sexy. Hetero women pronouncing whether other women are sexy or not is more than lame, its tiresome and a little weird, unless you’re gay of course and are speaking for gay women’s tastes. I think hetero men might be the best judge of whether a woman is sexy or not…. Britney Spears?? Well you might want sleep with her, but most men just go barf. Lady Gaga IS sexy whether you want to bed her or not honey.

    • Amanda J

      Im a die hard Gaga fan <3 and i think she is a sexy beast!

    • Sarah

      I totally agree with this article and find it very well written. I don’t know any guy that would put a poster of Lady Gaga up their wall because she is NOT sexy! Most guys just find her scary. Contrary, during their sexy phases, I knew a LOT of guys hanging posters of Britney and Shakira up their wall because they were soooo sexy! Girls wanted to look like them. Nobody wants to look like freaky crazy fragile-underneath dying-to-be-controversial Lady Gaga. nice blog & greets from Belgium x

    • linda

      No she is not sexy!! Marilyn Monroe was SEXY Sophia LOren is SEXY Farrah Fawcett was SEXY. Gaga is ugly and she is ugly because he looks BITCHY and HARD!!

    • celio

      a lady gaga e muito linda, e uma perfeiçao de mulher.

    • joseane

      ledy gaga ela é tudo de bom continue sendo oq vc é n oq os outro q q vc seja

    • Jack

      Britney Spears was undeniably sexy when she came out. No matter how she looks now it doesn’t change the fact of how hot she was before. She was every straight guy’s fantasy. Lady Gaga is more like a nightmare.

    • Mike

      The guys who think Britney wasn’t hot at her peak are gay. I don’t know one straight guy who didn’t think she was hot in the early 2000′s. Maybe they’re really girls and just jealous.

    • goggles

      Completely agree with your article.

      Gaga is outrageous, sure… but NOT sexy – and DEFINITELY not unique! She’s just daring enough to do and wear the things a TEAM of people suggest…

      those desperate for love will carry on trying in the hope there is atleast one thing you end up liking about them

      and born this way? Funny coming from someone who doesn’t ever even have the hair colour she was born with

    • Jordan Thorpe

      Why does it matter if a celebrity is hot or not!? Can’t they just be liked for being themselves and for their music

    • Jordan Thorpe

      WOW. You complete bias homophobe.

    • J

      As a hetero man, I say…no.

      Interesting, but not attractive or sexy.

    • mo

      She’s actually cute underneath all that just take a look at the picture above, not movie star cute just simply cute.

      All the excessive make-up and wardrobe is meant to grab attention more than be seductive. All the make -up and stuff is sexy in a kinky, fetish type way not for everyone but it certainly would grab everyones attention.

    • michelle

      Hahaha this is just funny…why are people even discussing this? .ugh….people these days. Btw Lady Gaga is fucking sexy.