• Wed, Aug 4 2010

What’s In Your Nightmare Box?

So I walked into the office today, and one of my co-workers talked about how she often dreams of a “synethesia house” where she can taste colors and see music. “It’s so magical,” she said “I never want to wake up.”

Huh.

She writes for a different site. We don’t dream about stuff like that.

We assume you don’t dream about that either. At least, not if we have anything to do with it. We try to help you fill up your nightmare box with stuff like human bone jewelry and flylashes. I’ve actually stolen the phrase “nightmare box” from commenter Nolalola26′s statements about them.

So what does TheGloss staff dream about? Electric sheep. Oops, we’ve revealed too much.

No, Lilit has dreams about Scientologists coming to get her. She’s actually written about Scientology a fair bit, and received calls from Scientology reps, and my God, you’ve seen the crazy in Tom Cruise’s eyes, so this is a totally reasonable nightmare. She has it often enough that she doesn’t read about Scientology after a certain time at night.

I have a reocurring dream called “Michael York is coming to poison me.” This is not a reasonable nightmare.

It comes in a lot of different forms. Sometimes I have to do an interview with Michael York, and he offers me tea, and then reveals that the tea was poisoned. He is generally a very pleasant interview subject until that point. Sometimes Michael York and I are dating, and then bam, he forces me to eat a pie full of rat poison. Sometimes he just leaps out from under my bed and stabs me with a poison syringe.

I do not particularly care about the actor Michael York (though I very much liked him in Logan’s Run, and, judging from the fact that I have now read his webpage 200 times to reassure myself that he’s not a killer, he seems like a very nice man). I blame this entirely on an episode of Law and Order: Criminal Intent where he played a charismatic murderer.

I have been known to wake up from those dreams screaming, and it scares people. The thing is, after screaming, I always feel a different emotion. And that emotion is pride. “Good for you, odd little subconscious,” I think to myself, “good for you for being so weird and different and obsessed with Michael York. Now let’s check your entire body for marks to make sure no one has actually stabbed you with a poison syringe.”

There was an interesting article in the New York Times last week about how to help train yourself away from having nightmares, but I sort of love my nightmares. They’re a sign that I have quirky layers to my subconscious. They’re a sign that I have the ability to surprise myself. They’re a sign that I should probably stop watching Law and Order: Criminal Intent after 11:00 at night.

So, all that said, what do you have nightmares about? And would you get rid of them if you could?

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  • Malkovich

    Not original but I dream about being buried alive which is not a good feel. How did I get there? But then I am so happy when I wake up in my own bed rather than a coffin or a cold, cold hole in the ground that I guess I will keep my nightmare.

  • HannahO

    I had a nightmare last night that I got in a huge fight with my boss and got fired and was broke and screwed. Most of my nightmares are about totally reasonable fears like my family members passing away etc. The oddest I’ve ever had was that I became mentally handicapped and was then chased by a shark, although I’ve never had another dream like that.

  • SamuraiHellKitty

    My favorite nightmare is about Pennywise the Clown. I’m always running around a dilapidated house when Pennywise sneaks up behind me holding one of those plastic pinwheels and I know I’m going to die. And then I wake up. A bit creepy, but I get to hear Tim Curry in my dream, so it’s worth it.

  • Sugarblind

    If I could banish the nightmares about my dead mother, I would. In a hot second.

  • porkchop

    I’m the one who’s scary in my dreams.

  • cori

    I dream about tornadoes all the time. Sometimes it’s just me looking out the window, completely calm, watching one in the distance. And other times (like a few nights ago) it’s a full blown nightmare & the tornado has sucked up my son & thrown him. I feel the same way as the writer though; no matter how awful my nightmares can be I still kind of like them.

  • crazies

    i had a nightmare(sort of) and i was taking a realllyyyyyyyy boring tour with a boring guide at a boring museum, but then a t-rex stormed into the exhibit and we hid. 1st i went down into people sized meerkat holes, but every1 else was somewhere else. then i ended up with every1 else under a table with a tabecloth & brochures. then the dino found us & i woke up.

  • Lizzy

    Scariest thing that ever happened in a dream: I gained just enough lucidity to realize I was in a dream, but not enough to really do anything other than go along with the dream and pinch myself to try to wake myself up (but I couldn’t feel anything, so all attempts failed). I think my awareness caused something in my brain to go haywire and THE DREAM KEPT RESETING ITSELF. NEARLY FORTY (40) TIMES. Including a couple times where it seemed that I had really woken up in my own bed and it too several minutes for something to be off and re-alert me to it being a dream.

    • Jessica Pauline Ogilvie

      That’s some Inception shit.

    • Jennifer Wright

      My favorite horrible dream story comes from a documentary about a mountaineer who was almost killed while attempting to climb Everest. He was trapped under the ice, and went into shock, and he said that for the entire time, he was trapped in a dream where the song Ra-Ra Rasputin played over, and over and over. And then he looked up at the camera sadly, so sadly, and said “I don’t very much like that song.” In conclusion, I guess be grateful that dream did not come with the musical stylings of Boney M.

  • heartbeet

    I always dream that I have gone on a trip and packed nothing. NOTHING! The horror!!!! Seriously, it’s a very stressful dream.

  • Heather

    The worst dreams I ever have involve my teeth. Sometimes it’s my teeth are loose and start falling out, sometimes it’s my jaw being inexplicably locked and then every effort I make to open them only causes them to grind in on each until all that is left is my broken shards of teeth or bloody gums. Frequently, I’ll think that I’ve woken up from the dream, only to find that my teeth are again falling out and then feel even more terrified because this time it’s not a dream (except it is and I just can’t wake up). I always wake up really relieved to still have all my teeth.