Gallery: Cartoon Princes We’d Rather Not Date (Even If They Were Human)

Disney? We think you’re sending young women the wrong message. Not about feminity, because we think it’s cool to wear impractical footwear and burst into song. We’re into that. Really. But these men? In real life, we’re pretty sure these men would not be people you’d want to date.

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    • haironmychest

      this is a hysterical post. jennifer, you have done it again with the clever quips beneath each photo.

    • Lauren

      But with The Little Mermaid, the whole point was that she COULDN’T get him to kiss her without speaking. Everybody forgets that.

    • eEv

      “Because he’s a lion.” Bwahaha.

      • freejouster

        i had the exact same reaction.

    • BtweenSheets

      And that’s not even mentioning their eyebrows!

    • michelle cassidy

      BUT IT’S PRINCE ERIC. So dreamy.

    • Mandy

      I mean, I would so date Aladdin… but that’s because I make bad decisions and date the guys I shouldn’t :P

    • Eileen

      To be fair to Aladdin, Jasmine was totally conning him when they met.

      • nolalola26

        True, but pretending you’re a pauper isn’t as bad as pretending you’re a prince. I only say this because he was conning a princess, who in cartoon world (and probably real world) has to wed royalty. I need to get back to work now because I’m embarrassing myself.

    • venus in furs

      what’s wrong with having a foot fetish?

      • Jennifer Wright

        Actually, nothing. Unless ladies start chopping off their toes to satisfy it. But then, I think they did keep that out of the Disney version, so that’s probably unfair of me.

    • Amy Schiller

      The only thing missing is Sassy Gay Friend in Disney (no, Sebastian/Zazu/ do not count) saying “Look at your life, look at your choices. He’s a LION. Who KILLED HIS BROTHER.”

      Also, I have a feeling Scar wouldn’t want to date ladies.

      • nolalola26

        Simba killed his brother? It’s been a while since I’ve seen the movie, but I don’t remember that at all..but I completely agree about the sassy gay friend telling the princesses to rethink their decisions.

    • Adah

      The guy from Sleeping Beauty was kind of creepy too. But I’d totally date Aladdin.

    • m

      not to mention for snow white’s prince:
      dude, she’s supposed to be dead! guy’s got some necrophilic tendencies – totally gross & definitely not someone to go on a date with.

    • Ellen W.

      Way late on this, but I wanted to speak up in Cinderella’s Prince Charming’s defence- not that we know anything about him really- but his dad is adorable and that’s a plus in my book.

    • Jon Sy

      You know what the Ariel’s prince really noticed when he first saw her? Her bosoms spilling out of two shells. Plus the wet look would have been a major bonus for him

      • Kim

        Genius!!

    • Devin

      the voice of the beast wasn’t played by mel gibson.
      mel gibson played john smith in Pocahontas.

      Regardless, I agree.
      Both have anger management issues.

      • eEv

        She wasn’t saying Mel Gibson did the voice, she was saying Mel Gibson in real life acts like the Beast.

    • James

      Prince Eric did hear her voice right after he saved her. He even says so when he says “She had the most beautiful voice”, when talking to that old guy. So in truth he DID hear her, and went looking for her after that.

    • Katie

      Prince Charming didn’t run around the kingdom looking for her… he made the duke do it for him. So therefore, he’s just lazy. Does that still make him a stalker?

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    • Kelly H

      Out of all the Disney cartoons I think Princess Jasmine is by far the prettiest! Aladdin did well with that one!
      Nicola Chapman

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