All's Fair In Love and Politics... Or Is It? TheGloss

It was late in the evening and I sat surrounded on the sofa of a friend of a friend’s apartment, having been already introduced to him and her and them and her, and the few glasses of chilled Pinot Noir I had drowned my bashfulness in were beginning to entrance me into a “People Are Strange” mood, with faces flashing before me in a similar fashion.

Then she appeared.

She was attractive. Had an air of knowing what she was doing amidst a crowd of fumbling fools. And our novelist-in-residence introduced her as a staffer for a prominent Republican.

Hook. Line. And sinker.

Now, it isn’t that she was a Republican. It was that she was in politics. That night I dreamt of long days in campaign headquarters as Jane and I swapped cold call stories over lukewarm cups of coffee. Then Jane and I swapping political speculations over perfectly mixed cocktails. Then Jane and I swapping saliva over…that’s for my imagination only.

The most intriguing of this all is that I had recently made the conscious decision to shy away from politically-heated relationships. An old flame of mine was and is a self-proclaimed Republican, though I doubt she has any thought as to why beyond her mother and father’s party allegiance. From what I gathered during our pillow talk (randy, no?), she was in the camp where you were free to be blissfully ignorant, as long as you wore the right colored uniform. And as I consider myself a true conservative, this led to innumerable arguments with her annoyingly parroting Fox News. To be frank, I happened to have more friendly conversations about politics with her friends who were all liberal. I walked away from that charred romance convinced that politics in relationships were more often than not a tank of gasoline dying to be lit.

But here I am, weeks since the party, daydreaming of mornings spent idly drinking coffee and bantering back and forth about the most recent election or on-going campaign. I may very well have found my intellectual-romantic Achilles heel.

Which leads me to my question.

As a politically-opinionated man, I am inclined to ask: ladies, do politics have any place in a relationship? And if the cat claws its way out of the bag, does party mean anything to you, one way or another?

Disclaimer: I consider myself neither Republican nor Democrat.

rachel

I think that that politics should not be able to have any real influence in relationships. I have learned through various family gatherings (with a family who has very staunch liberal, conservative, and libertarian members) that politics make things ugly amidst loved ones. The last time I saw one of my uncles, he asked if I’d regretted who I had cast my vote for now, also referring to President Obama in a very crass manner. He also discovered early on that my boyfriend is conservative, and has since sided with him in an effort to “help me see the error in my ways.” Quite frankly, I find that everyone is entitled to his or her opinion… My boyfriend is conservative, and I used to consider myself liberal, but now I would just say that I am moderate on the best of days. But we don’t discuss it, because I think that it leads to potentially hurt feelings based on one’s feeling of political belonging. He thinks it’s hot that I was Sarah Palin for Halloween a couple of years ago, and I am perfectly content to leave it at that.
Lady Esq.

My ex considers himself a Libertarian and is a registered Republican. I consider myself Progressive, am registered Green, and vote Democrat when I think my vote matters. My ex and I used to have some pretty hot debates that led to things like an inside joke that we would make love on a torn-down Ron Paul sign. We were of different mindsets about politics but found ourselves in agreement about a lot of things, and our disagreements were passionate in a good way.

I think it depends on how seriously you take your politics. If both partners can take their individual politics seriously but be open to hearing alternative viewpoints, I think a relationship comprised of two politically minded people can work, regardless of their respective political positions.

If you’re one of those people who is so staunch in your viewpoint that you get emotional about differing viewpoints, or worse, if you are one of those people who so blindly believes in your politics that you are incapable of even hearing an alternative position, then date somebody who has zero interest in the subject matter.

- Lady Esq.

http://www.askLadyEsq.com
pookie

I’ve always followed politics but was never really that passionate about the cause. I would throw my allegiance to the Dems because I lived on the East Coast, but I did disagree with them on some things, so I always considered myself more moderate. But when the election rolled around, I fell in love with Barack Obama, and I don’t really know all the reasons why. But when I found out the guy I was dating wasn’t planning to vote for him, I was crushed — and considering breaking up with him. We had a long discussion, and he convinced me that it didn’t matter if our party affiliations differed, as long as the things that really mattered — loyalty, family values, ethics — were the same. He convinced me. And, talking with him about it made me seek out actual examples to show why I cared and ultimately made me more invested in my decision.

Moral of the story: it might be easier to date someone who agrees with you politically but, for me at least, a differing opinion isn’t always a deal breaker. At least they have an opinion!
Lia

I’m pretty passionate about politics, but don’t have a strong party affiliation. I wouldn’t have an issue dating a Republican, Democrat, or self-proclaimed member or non-member of any other party. I would have an issue dating someone who was willfully ignorant about the world, who didn’t question his own opinions and assumptions, and wasn’t interested in trying to understand the viewpoints of others. Disagreements can make things interesting, as long as we argue well. I would have a problem dating someone who was politically apathetic. Non-voters drive me crazy. Even though my own party affiliation is fairly flexible (though I usually side with Democrats on most social issues), people who say they “just don’t care” about politics make me tear my hair out. You don’t have to be a campaign manager, just exercise your right to vote and stay well-informed about the state of the country. Then, as long as we discuss our views and don’t bicker about them, things should work out fine.
Reggie

Politics seem ignite that deep seeded “I am right about everyone being wrong” attitude, and the more unattractive side of intellectual pride. Most of the time heated discussions about politics are more about who is the “winner” than working together by starting with a common principle. And if you don’t have ANY common principles…well, I’d say you have bigger problems in your relationship than political affiliation.