With the premiere of the Real Housewives of DC last week, the question at the forefront of everyone’s mind was: what are we going to learn about that crazy bitch who crashed the White House state dinner?
Unfortunately, the answer to that question was, not much.
Bravo is either trying to keep us watching by holding out scenes featuring the show’s biggest draw, Michaele Salahi, or there really isn’t much to know. Because in the season’s opener, all we saw of the red-sari-ed threat to national security was a few snippets of her air-kissing, and one or two bits about her being underweight. Other than that, it was a surprisingly Salahi-free affair.
But it wasn’t totally devoid of anything Michaele, and so we did glean a few important facts about Bravo’s newest package of crazy.
As an L.A. person, I’ll start by saying that it was interesting for me to see someone who should probably live here gracing the small screen as a representative of DC. The cultures of our two fair cities are starkly different — I had a friend who lived in DC tell me once that she was careful, while living there, to never be rude to anyone, anywhere, for any reason, because you could never know who they are or who they work for. And yet rude is kind of a way of life here in LA, where people are constantly wondering who else might be in the room who is more important than you to talk to, and so always have one foot out the door of a conversation, their iPhone in hand ready for that ever-important text, and their eyes constantly scanning the area behind you while you talk. Salahi, who put her attention span of “a gnat,” as fellow cast member Cat aptly put it, her fake tan, and her long, bleached extensions on display at her husband’s polo match on the season premiere of the show, seems like she’s been cast in the Real Housewives of the wrong city.
But Salahi goes out of her way to tell the cameras that while it may seem like she has no substance, there’s actually a lot going on inside her skinny little mind. While we have yet to learn what all that is, we’d be foolish to dismiss her as some dumb blonde, because let’s be real — she’s some dumb blonde who weaseled her way into a White House dinner without an invitation. Yes, it was crazy — but it was also crazy wily.
A tiny bit of internet research also reveals that this isn’t the first time Salahi has flexed her ability to lie be wily. She’s passed herself off as a former Redskins cheerleader, a claim which was later refuted by the Redskins, and as a graduate of King’s College, to which the college responded that they have no records of her attendance.
So maybe there’s some truth to her suggestion that there’s more to her than we think — after all, it must take some cunning to lie your way around town and then be rewarded with a spot on national television. But as intriguing as Salahi is, I’m not sure that I want her befouling my box every week. Some reality stars are crazy all in good fun, but some are crazy and try to bring the President down with them. Call me a killjoy, but I think it kind of stops being a good time at that point.