• Thu, Aug 26 2010

Accepting Different Body Types Doesn’t Mean You Have To Hate Skinny Girls

Okay, look, we need to talk.

Come in.

Shut the door.

Here. Have a delicious danish.

You know how you like the beautiful curvy ladies like Christina Hendricks? That’s great. Really, that’s so great. I mean, it probably has a lot to do with the fact that Christina Hendricks is outrageously gorgeous and her face is perfectly symmetrical, but okay.

And I know that the skinny girls in magazines made you/your friend/”your friend” attempt to purge ineffectively in 7th grade. But there are different body types out there. Some girls are naturally very skinny. Some of those people are actually right here. Lilit is a size zero, and I watch her eat egg and cheese filled bagels pretty much all day long. She doesn’t puke up her food in the toilet. It’s just the way her body is, and that’s cool. (She would also like to say “there are few phrases I hate more than ‘eat a sandwich.’ You know what I’m not allowed to say? ‘Take some diet pills.’)

Some girls have more curves. Everyone is beautiful. Except for people with asymmetrical faces. Those people  should wear more make-up.

Because between facebook groups and weird reader comments about how we’re assholes for not including plus sized models in a historical model round-up where we suggested you add your favorites in the comments, it seems like the quest to become more accepting of different body types actually means being less accepting of different body types. These people who talk about how women have to be curvaceous to be acceptable are discriminating every bit as much as the people who say that women have to be size zero to be acceptable.

Seriously. You’re not making curvy girls feel better, you’re just making skinny girls feel shitty.

Women. They come in different sizes. Sometimes that size is an extra-small. Deal with it.

How was that danish? Delicious? Good.

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  • Cass-is-fab

    Exactly,
    I’m so happy The Gloss is making a point to say this.
    There is a lot of disparity between size acceptance with plus size and lower weight women. I’m on the other end of the spectrum but, come on, how am I supposed to be feeling better about my body by thinking someone else should be ashamed about their body.
    Some people are just going to be thin their whole lives, it’s ok to be envious, hell, it’s ok to be envious of people who are banging at higher weights as well, envy doesn’t make you a bad person, it makes you human.
    Shaming others into hating their bodies or thinking they should change when they are taking care of themselves and not harming their bodies, THAT shit, is what makes you a bad person.

    ~~~
    Go You

  • Emily

    THANK YOU. I feel like I have to be so careful about how I describe bigger girls, but no one things twice about calling me skinny, bony, a stick, whatever. Not to mention talking about my eating habits with total abandon. I know it’s not meant to be mean, but it’s still incredibly rude and sometimes hurtful

  • Shae

    Thank you for this article!!!! I am another of those women who is very skinny (naturally, really, it’s genetic) who has to make excuses. I’ve finally started just saying in response to constant comments about my weight, “It’ll catch up with me when I’m thirty.” It sucks to be a thin (and proportional!). I am comfortable with my body and it bugs me that in our society, it’s okay to tell me that I have the body of a ten year old. (True story.) I don’t talk about your weight – please don’t talk about mine. Yay for this article.

    • Mercedes

      I tell people the same thing. I say that I’m riding the genetics train until the last possible moment.. Looks are mostly luck anyways.

  • Colleen

    I am a size 10-12; my sister is a 0-2…..I admire her for her pert little figure with a good butt, and she admires my great rack….

    Play up your assets, camouflage your apparent “flaws”, and LOVE YOURSELF. When are women going to start doing that?

    If you don’t like something about your own appearance and want to change it, that’s your business, but no one has the right to tell you what you “need to” or “should” look like (unless you have some severe body dysmorphia and are seeing a counsellor, then the counsellor can give you advice like that).

  • sass

    Im very appreciative of this article because im a 30 yr old mother of 2. And im very skinny and i get sick of ppl makn comments about my size they say things like “u need to go eat” my response back is “maybe u should quit eating” i mean seriously i realized long ago that ppl think its ok to make remarks to skinny ppl about their size but its considered rude wen u comment on a fat person. Ppl need to realize that it hurts both ways. So happy i saw this article cuz now i know im not the only one that has to hear the constant comments about my size…

  • Torontogirl

    This article is SO on point!! I am right smack in the middle, call me average…but I could never understand how it was ok to make comments and question a woman who is a size zero but god forbid you make any kind of comment towards a woman who is a size 16. Yes, we need to stop the pressure that pushes some of those models to survive on brocolli, but we also need to stop hating on the women because of their skinny ‘jeans’.

  • Chickalupe

    I have always made a point not to hate skinny girls… unless they hate me first. Some of my best friends are skinny! ;)

  • reading along

    I am a curvy girl, and my daughter is ‘skinny’ + curves… when we registered for school this year the nurse asked if she had lost weight, she tilted her head to the side and said “actually I gained 13 lbs” and I looked at the nurse and whispered “she’s wearing a minimizer bra.” The nurse gave her a once over and gave a slight nod. Kid eats like a horse… she doesn’t need a complex about being “too skinny” she has enough to worry about.

  • Kate

    I agree all weights (as long as the person is healthy and takes care of him/herself) should be accepted without comment or complaint. Thank you for making such a concise and useful point! Naturally thin women/people deserve just as much respect as naturally curvy (or more than curvy!) women/people.

    I would like to point out, however, that although “news” outlets criticize celebrities for “scary skinny” weight, it is still common practice in the media, sitcoms, movies, etc. to make fat jokes. There’s no such thing as “skinny jokes.”

    Meanwhile girls and women can go around promoting fad diets (baby food, seriously? And no carbs = no brain fuel, it’s all your brain uses to work. At least eat some good fruit that isn’t just water!) and insulting people who carry a little extra weight around, whether it’s ‘banging’ or not.

    The real issue is – just show respect to everyone, regardless of your opinion on their figure.

    • Kate

      Hee hee. Two Kates.

      I just wanted to say, as I stated in my mini-rant above, there are skinny jokes. There really are. You just don’t realize it until they’re aimed at you.

    • Kate

      X-D Fellow Kates of the world unite!

      Actually it doesn’t surprise me that there are jokes, I wouldn’t have heard jokes about being too skinny after I hit puberty. Unfortunately (well… fortunately, really! but unfortunately for the larger weight-targed people) they aren’t told on television so much, or in movies or other media venues. Fat/heavy/curvy people are singled out openly as a societal norm to be mocked/chastised/shunned.

      How many movies are there that a girl didn’t get a guy (or vice versa!) until s/he lost a ton of weight and got “hot”? They masquerade in the idea that it’s about the person loving him/herself, but they still don’t have the target of affection state “I love you at any size.” or even “I liked you better before.”

      Except Colin Firth, who said in an interview he found Renee Zellweger more attractive at her ‘Bridget Jones’ weight than once she slimmed back down again. They don’t put it into the mainstream, though.

      It makes me sad that jokes of any kind, “helpful hinderance comments” (my family are notorious for the “You’d look so much better if you… ” statements), and general societal behaviors are so harmful. This is the stuff from which eating disorders are born and nurtured in the dark places of our psyche (and yes, I have one and it’s managed at the moment).

  • WM

    a skinny girl who eats eggs and cheese with bagels all day can still die of a heart attack, can still have terrible high cholesterol and can still become diabetic, so kudos for those with fast metabolisms but whatever your size, you HAVE to eat healthy… is not about the size and THAT’S what you should be promoting :)

  • Just Saying

    Fat Stigma is way stronger and more deeply rooted than “Skinny Hate”. Skinny is still synonymous with health, so overweight people are often immediately labeled as being “lazy”. All the more reason why weight shouldn’t be confused with being attractive–it absolutely isn’t. Saying to someone “you lost weight–you look great!” is something that needs to change. People lose and gain weight for all sorts of reasons, oftentimes due to stress or illness. Let’s all just stop with the weight comments, okay?

    P.S. Skinny people should not be accused of having eating disorders. But as someone of normal weight who suffered from an eating disorder for more than 8 years and no one once was the wiser because I wasn’t a “twig”, I can’t say I’m up for joining the pity party. There are those who are worse off, darling.

    • girl

      Skinny isn’t synonymous with health either, although it is far less stigmatized by medicine than fat is. But, in reality, doctors criticize skinny women and tell them that they need to gain weight by using the inaccurate BMI chart all the time. Medicine is often just another tool of the patriarchy telling women that no matter what, there is something wrong with their bodies, whether it be ‘underweight’ from being thin or ‘overweight’ or ‘obese’ from being fat, or applying the term ‘normal’ or ‘average’ to a select few women and alienating all others so that they feel like their bodies are weird and something is seriously wrong with them that needs to be fixed asap.

      I developed disordered eating due to pressure put on me by my doctors to change my weight as a teen and still struggle with body dysmorphia, because I was constantly told that something was wrong with my skinny body.

      I am not playing oppression olympics and please don’t accuse me of doing so, but it angers me that my own struggles are minimized in body acceptance because ‘someone has it worse’. By that train of thought, we can say some people have it worse in third world countries too, so maybe we should all just shut up about our own oppression. All women are affected by the patriarchy’s policing of our bodies and it doesn’t do anyone any good to tell thin women to shut up and get over it when we are talking about body acceptance. (We must also remember that there is a difference between fat positivity and body acceptance and all of my statements are said in light of the latter.)

  • KC

    Yeah, I’m sure all the naturally skinny girls are crying themselves to sleep every night.

    • Kate

      You know what? If you’re going to be like that, kindly get bent. Just as no one should ever have the brazen presumptuousness to judge what is like to be “fat”, no one has the right to decide who I am and what my life must be like because I am skinny. I have been both- I was a size twelve in high school, and I was treated like a cow who was apparently supposed to cloak myself in a burqa to to save innocent bystanders the traumatic experience of glimpsing my thighs, which is sexist, size-ist bullshit. On the flip side, i am now a size zero and you know what? The grass isn’t necessarily greener on the other side, since now it is apparently totally appropriate to make tasteless anorexia jokes and gawk at me as if I was a holocaust victim. No one has the right to judge me for my body, regardless of my size- either way, I’m a person, and anyone telling me who I am supposed to be or trying to shame me for some imagined crime I committed just by inhabiting my skin can bite me.

      Normally, I do not voice my opinions in such crude, angry terms, but I think I can speak for any girl who has endured the experience of the world declaring open season on her appearance without any sort of consent on her part that, eventually, something’s got to give. After a while, enough is enough, and like it or not, I have a right to be mad.

    • KC

      Boo hoo. Look, Size Zero, nobody deserves to have random-ass strangers make comments about their body size. It’s grossly inappropriate for someone to tell you to eat a sandwich unless you stand on street corners holding up a sign saying “HELLO WORLD, I WOULD APPRECIATE YOUR FEEDBACK ON MY SIZE.” And you don’t. I’m just saying that “fat hate” is way more prevalent and institutionalized than “skinny hate.” So while nobody should comment on your body- it’s yours, after all- you don’t have it nearly as bad. Put it this way: how many skinny girls feel bad about themselvs to the point of developing eating disorders?

  • Katie

    THANK YOU FOR ACKNOWLEDGING THIS! I’m a naturally thin girl, and I eat what I want, when I want. Just because someone is skinny doesn’t mean that they’re anorexic or have any kind of eating disorder. It makes me angry when people write comments that they don’t see enough “real women”. So just because I’m thin means that I’m not “real”? Seriously, bigger women need to quit harping on about slim girls not being normal.

  • Mercedes

    I hate the comments that are directed at skinny girls that people try to play off as compliments but they are said in a bitchy way. Like “Well we can’t all look like you…” Just because someone is skinny, doesn’t mean they have a perfect everything. Everyone has problems. Resenting someone for their natural weight is as useful as resenting someone for their height. It does nothing.

  • Hannah

    Something no one’s mentioned so far is the “real women have curves” motto… As a healthy size 4 with barely there curves, I’ve always been offended by that saying. I’m in my mid twenties and have maintained my weight since high school, I’ve tried to live my healthiest… but I’m not a “real woman” because I’m not a size 10 or 12? The average woman is overweight and unhealthy these days. I say I’m more of a woman because I take care of myself, eat right, and respect myself enough to make healthier choices than most. Thanks for the article.

    • Lindsay Hartman

      Just a side note here, the happiest size is actually a size 10. I think TheGloss reported it. I’m thrilled that you are happy to be a size 4. I’m happy to be a size 12, believe it or not. And I think Jennifer was saying that we should both be happy with our size. You be happy at 4, I’ll be happy at 12 (and I think I’m still healthy, just curvy). And hopefully more people will follow our lead.

  • Jules

    I’m going to be completely honest, and I do *not* pretend to represent all skinny girls. At first I was thrilled with this article and thought, “That’s right! People *do* make comments about my weight and that’s just as bad as making comments about a fat girl!” But then I realized that when people say something about my size it’s usually jokey or based on concern that I don’t eat enough- I don’t think anyone in my life has ever said something really cruel about me being thin.

    Also, I can fit into clothing easily, and I like the way I look in it. There is no style I avoid because it clings to that bulge or emphasizes this lump. I physically resemble the people in magazines (well, shorter and without a beautiful face). So I have to be honest and agree with the commenter who said sarcastically, “I’m sure skinny girls are crying themselves to sleep every night.” Because I’m not; I generally feel good about my body in a way that I think would be much harder for a bigger girl to do. I used to cry myself to sleep when I was 30 lbs. heavier, but I’ll never go back there, because having been on both sides I can say with absolute certainty that it’s far easier to be skinny and have people hate you out of jealousy or resentment than it is to be chubby and feel invisible or unattractive.

    I agree that all body types should be respected and that hatred for skinny girls is unproductive, but skinny girl hatred doesn’t make me feel “shitty” and I don’t feel bad for people my size, because I haven’t seen any evidence that we’re persecuted in any systematic way. We have it a million times easier, and that’s not right- so I understand skinny girl hatred and don’t blame the people who indulge in it.

  • Amber

    Thank you Gloss! I am a naturally skinny person that does eat! I am so sick of people making comments about my weight. I wouldn’t talk about someone else’s! I feel like people are constantly judging what I eat or don’t eat. I wish people would just mind thier business! Every woman is different with all differnent sizes. Embrace and except who you are. You are all beautiful, no matter what size you are. So people should just keep thier thoughts to thier self and stop judging others!

  • Eileen

    What I hate about the “curvy” versus “skinny” thing is that curves=/=heavier. Audrey Hepburn, though she weighed only 100 pounds, was far curvier than plenty of women I know who weigh significantly more. You can’t make your body curvy – a good friend of mine has never had voluptuous breasts, despite the fact that she’s gone through a variety of different sizes. And another good friend, a model, is five-foot-ten and under 120, but she still has curves that would stop traffic. Curves like Christina Hendricks’s are close to impossible to get without surgery. Promoting the “realness” of curvy women is just holding everyone up to yet another really elusive standard.

    • nolalola26

      That is an excellent point. The sentiment behind “curvy women are beautiful too” is actually “and we’re really talking about an hour glass figure here, not fat women.” Every body handles fat & muscle & bone differently, as I was noticing in the gym yesterday. There were 5 women running next to each other, they each had great bodies, but they were totally different. One had huge boobs, another had none, one had really strong legs, another had chicken-y legs, but they all were in good shape.

      …I’m probably a little too hungover to really make this clear, so basically, yes I agree with you.

  • Thea

    oh my gosh! Thank you so much for writing this! I’m naturally very skinny, though I eat tons, and tons, and tons. I get incredibly insecure when people say stuff like that. And ‘KC’, I HAVE cried myself to sleep before, just because even though I have ovaries (which automatically makes me a woman), I don’t have curves. I’ve tried, and tried and TRIED to gain weight, some more fat deposit, but I have a very fast metabolism that is hereditary, and makes it near impossible for me to do so. It’s also quite the double standard, as ‘Larger’ or ‘Real’ women, are allowed to comment and criticize our bodies, while if a skinny/ thin person says something about ‘fat people’, they get accused of being rude/ horrible.
    When someone tells me ‘Real women have curves’, I can’t help but think that people need to tell themselves that in order to feel good about their bodies. This isn’t right! As long as you’re healthy, it shouldn’t matter what size your body is.

  • D

    Seriously, stop whining about it.

  • Harsha

    ‘Seriously. You’re not making curvy girls feel better, you’re just making skinny girls feel shitty.

    Actually, you’re just objectifying both types. Some things never change.

  • Skinny Girl E :)

    Thanks for this article. I’m naturally petite and sometimes feel self-conscious of this around larger girls. I tried to diffuse resentment by only placing healthy-looking foods on my tray in the dining room so people would feel like I practiced some kind of crazy dietary self-denial and aren’t they happier to be eating a sloppy joe and a huge piece of cake than my salad with no dressing and lemon water? At home I eat fried foods and sweets but not in front of chubby girls. Nope. When my customers at the coffee house would bring up my small size in jealousy I would tell them that I ran about 5 miles a day and did hot yoga (that was only a little bit of hyperbole).

    The point is, I always felt like I had to show that there was a reason for my small size so that people would hate me less, when really it makes little difference whether I work out 5 times a week and eat salad or if I sit on the couch eating potato chips every day. I have a high metabolism – is that my fault?

  • The JellySwami

    You know, except for the occasional lack of civility, this was a really interesting and eye-opening discussion in the comment section. As an always-plus-size girl, I’ve never really taken seriously thin girls’ complaints about their body types. Well, except for them being sad about not having boobs, that did always seem serious. But listening to the hurt and resentment that they have felt when people make thoughtless comments about them, their eating habits, their possible anorexia – it’s clear that “humorous” hating on body types is just not cool, no matter whether it’s the thick divas or the skinnies who are the target. I liked Cass-is-fab’s comment a lot: “come on, how am I supposed to be feeling better about my body by thinking someone else should be ashamed about their body?”

    thanks for provoking thought!

  • Fatty

    Let’s be honest here, I’m considered fat. Some women would look at me and immediately dismiss me as eating too many big macs and not going to the gym enough. While, yes I do admit to enjoy the occasional big mac, I do go to the gym and work out like a freakin animal. I sweat all over the mats and look like a beached whale trying to give birth. And you know what? I get disgusted looks from people- men and women- about how I look. Because I can’t fit in to a double zero pair of jeans, hell, I can’t even fit into a size 9 without amputating body parts and folding myself in half. I go to the bar and peoples’ eyes slide over me like I don’t exist because I’m not considered pretty because I don’t weigh 90lbs. Poor you. Yes, indeed. How about you skinny girls get yourself a fat suit and walk into a mall and see what happens? Perhaps then you will be singing a different tune. I dress myself nicely, hold myself well, I am groomed impeccably. I am an intelligent woman who, besides carrying weight around the middle due to hormones (PCOS and Cushings disease) I will never be what society deems as healthy. I go to the doctor for a sore foot, they tell me to lose weight. I go to the doctor for migraines, it’s a weight issue. I can’t have kids, ‘why don’t you lose a little weight, then?’ People tell me.

    I’m FAT by the industry’s standards. I’m akin to a washing machine or a refrigerator to be easily dismissed because I can’t keep myself away from the sweets, people think. I am 5’9″ and weigh 220. I probably weigh double what most of you weigh. And I bet, most of you are disgusted by this, even after telling you I have cysts in my ovaries and micro tumors in my brain. So next time you see a fat girl walking down the street and your friend and you start giggling about a walking bowl of jello, remember that it was SKINNY people, not fat people, that perpetuated this nasty attitude.

    • J

      Actually, the media perpetuated this attitude by implying that only thin women can be beautiful. Many of the thin women you insult and make assumptions about are victims of this discrimination as well. How many of them are out their working their butts off at the gym, like you, to keep off their weight *just* to feel accepted? I’m positive that deep down even stuck up women are insecure about their looks; they put other girls down to feel superior and therefore more comfortable in their own skin. Yes, it’s wrong, but it’s also wrong to assume that all thin women are mean, slutty, or anorexic, and that larger women are lazy pigs.

      You seem to have a beautiful personality and I’m sorry to hear that so many people have treated you badly, despite your hard work (I wish I could just give you a big hug!). Everyone needs to remember that each woman has her own story. We need to stop judging and start listening to each other.

  • Lizza

    I agree with Harsha. Seriously, just because you like curvy girls doesn’t mean you have to hate on skinny ones and vice versa. I love that near to last line, though: “Deal with it.” Exactly!

  • lala

    I think what a lot of women get forced into believing is that they can be that super curvy or super skinny chick. But it’s just not possible, some body types just don’t allow it. IMO, the best thing to do is NOT read womens magazines b/c most of those ladies are airbrushed to perfection. Do what makes you feel good ladies! Find something that makes you feel comfortable with yourself is most important. Good diet and good exercise are most helpful I find… and this is coming from someone recovering from an E.D. and is overweight. We’re all beautiful in different ways <3 love you ladies!

  • Angie

    “Because between facebook groups and weird reader comments about how we’re assholes for not including plus sized models in a historical model round-up where we suggested you add your favorites in the comments, it seems like the quest to become more accepting of different body types actually means being less accepting of different body types.”

    I fail to see how criticizing media for not including plus-size women is an example of being “less accepting” of thin women. Why is asking for more representation of marginalized women perceived as discrimination against overly-represented women?

  • A

    “Because between facebook groups and weird reader comments about how we’re assholes for not including plus sized models in a historical model round-up where we suggested you add your favorites in the comments, it seems like the quest to become more accepting of different body types actually means being less accepting of different body types.”

    I fail to see how criticizing the media for not including representations of plus-size women is an example of being “less accepting” of thin women. Why is that when an under-represented group demands more representation the overly-represented group claims to be the victims of discrimination? Seriously. How are people supposed to learn how to become more “accepting of different body types” when one body type (i.e. thin) is represented more than any other?

    • J

      I think you misunderstood what the author was trying to say. We certainly should have more plus-sized models representing the female population (And for that matter we shouldn’t have to label them “plus-sized”. They’re models, plain and simple. To call them anything else implies that they aren’t normal). On the other hand, accepting various shapes and sizes means accepting them ALL: curvy, round, and yes, even thin.

      I’ve always been a naturally thin person and I find it insulting that a fair number of people throughout my life have assumed that I must have an eating disorder. It’s not fair to treat anyone like a freak, or an outcast, just because of their weight. We women need to start fighting body discrimination as one united group, not as plus-sized women versus thin women. We need acceptance of *all* shapes and sizes.

  • Deborah

    As a skinny girl, it really does not bother me in any personal way when the curvy girls criticize skinny girls. Calling others “wrong” in whatever manner you choose at that moment doesn’t make you “right”, it just accentuates your own crappy attitude and insecurities.

    Telling me I look like a twelve year old boy doesn’t make me feel ugly, but it does remind me that I’ll probably live longer than the person saying that to me. Excesses of fat and anger are not good for one’s health.

  • cici

    THANK YOU! as a skinny girl i thank you!

  • Isabelle

    I know plenty of naturally thin girls. They usually have egos the size of small whales, and can’t understand why anyone else is genetically larger. I’ve had “friends” tell me I should lose weight, although I eat half as much as them and weigh 50 pounds more.

    Shut up. Shutupshutupshutup. You’re just digging yourself deeper here.

  • Feeth

    THANK you. I’m naturally thin, but capable of gaining weight, and I have to work to stay healthy just like everybody. But I’ve had people take an instant dislike to me or be rude to me because of my appearance. I have a friend who is naturally thin and has to work TO gain weight. If you want to make her cry tears of rage and hurt, all you have to do is tell her she’s anorexic or needs to eat more. Despite the fact that her bone structure screams “naturally thin,” people have actually done this. It’s just as hurtful to her to be told she’s too skinny as for someone else to be told they’re fat.

    So again, for girls out there like both of us – thank you for saying this! No one should be made to feel badly about her body’s appearance, no matter what her size.

  • meg

    this isn’t completely unlike the civil rights movement. bigger ladies (a category to which i belong) are pretty sick of being called ugly and being made fun of, so they’re like, hey, you know what sucks? the privileged class. let’s make fun of THEM for once, and then not feel sorry for them if their feelings are hurt.

    you could also compare it to conservatives who complain about obama. i do not give a shit about their unhappiness. they can suck it.

    anyway. yes, “eat a sandwich” is bigotry all the same, and it’s stupid. and i don’t subsrcibe to that mindset personally. however, i kind of don’t blame plus-size ladies for being pissed and not totally caring. we/they spend a lot of time being called horrible names by strangers, friends, and family. there’s a lot of emotional pain at work here, and it doesn’t always leave a lot of room for logic. “us v. them” is usually the first stop on the train of thought.

    • Amanda

      Yes, Meg, I agree. And of course I don’t blame curvier women for their feelings. We’ve all been there. What I fear is that we’re gonna stay there if we keep this up.

  • Caitlin

    Thank you.

  • Allie

    It doesn’t bother me a whole lot and I guess the pendulum has to swing the other way a little bit, but it does bother me when someone pulls out the “you need to eat a sandwich” line. In college, I was a competitive distance runner, so I spent a significant amount of time exercising. I also ate lots of sandwiches to support that exercise. Yet, somehow my thinness was always viewed as a result of inadequate food rather than as a result of my sport.

    So I guess the thing that bothers me is when people assume that skinny people have to necessarily be starving themselves or doing something “tricky” – that there is absolutely no reasonable way that someone could be thin and also healthy.

  • The Situation

    Some women just need to eat a sandwich. The fact that your friend has the desire to say “take some diet pills” shows just what a mean-spirited bitch she is and why doesn’t deserve any sympathy for having to endure the occasional comment that she’s too damn skinny.

    As the great JT one said, Cry me a river…. though I doubt your skinny friend could manage to have that much liquid in her body.

    • J

      And telling a thin woman that she needs to eat a sandwich isn’t a mean-spirited and bitchy thing to say? Why is it OK for a larger woman to insult a thin person and make assumptions about her personality and habits? It’s wrong either way.

    • A fat girl who replies to bitter assholes.

      You sound fat.

  • KatieM

    MIB Quote “Bug: You ever pull the wings off a fly? You care to see the fly get even?” . As Allie wrote it’s just the pendulum swinging, get over it. there are far greater injustices. Maybe try a positive article next time instead of a bitter one.

  • Candi

    Oh, boohoo. I have no doubts the fatter woman has had nastier, more hurtful things said to her than the skinnier woman. And just how your friend can’t help but to be skinny, some women have hormone imbalances that cause them to be fatter.
    Further so, maybe fat girls are just finally dishing back after all the hurtful things that have been said to them over the years.

    • isla

      ‘dishing back’ is pathetic. strong women would know better than to insult others just to make themselves feel better. sounds like catty teen behavior especially from people who know what it feels like.

  • Alanna

    Thank you for this! I’m on the curvier side of the body spectrum, but every time I see some stupid facebook page along the likes of “real women have curves” I get angry.

  • Kristin

    Wow, I’m offended on behalf of the group of women with asymmetrical faces. You realize that in most cases it cannot be helped, don’t you? I’ve had reconstructive surgery to try to minimize it. I have also been complimented on my good looks before and after surgery. Open your mind, please.

  • Pantsmarty

    Yeah, I’ve heard the “You need to eat a cheeseburger,” so many times. It has ruined my night when I’m feeling good about myself and my outfit and then hear this type of thing. I also HATED the “Real Women Have Curves.” NO! Real women come in all shapes and sizes. REAL Women have insecurities about their body, no matter what their weight is. The second I went above a size 0 that had been natural, I felt a wave of panic. How can we not when we’re told that in order to be successful, happy or recently, and now REAL we have to appear a certain way? It’s frustrating. But it’s never going to end, so all you can do is be a nice person and hope that people don’t judge you for your looks.

  • Claire

    You undercut the entire sentiment of this article by making fun of people with assymetrical faces. If you want people to be accepting of your opinion and lifestyle choices, you need to be accepting of theirs. The Rogerian Theory of Argument works well, but finding common ground on the basis of a common enemy is risky, especially when posting to an anonymous audience who could very well be the audience you are describing. Furthermore, it is clear that this started off as a well-reasoned article but became very close to a bitter admonishment of anyone who’s ever looked cross-eyed at any female under size 10.

    I agree that claiming to accept different body types while making fun of skinny girls is a little like claiming to love all animals except frogs. Women come in all shapes and sizes and beauty created in a magazing cannot compare to its untouched conterpart. However, by making your point at the cost of dignity of others, you have belied your reason for the sake of an (albeit successful if not effective) appeal to Pathos.

    In short, your point is valid, but your argument is not.

    • amanda

      Actually, I think she was emphasizing, not undercutting the point with the whole asymmetrical faces thing. People are all like, “look how accepting we are, we like this obviously gorgeous person”, but really they’re still just judging by looks. She’s pointing that appreciating pretty people isn’t exactly a feat of tolerance. At least that’s how I took it.

    • Jennifer Wright

      Gold star.

  • Curvy

    Oh no, skinny girls aren’t number one anymore, so let’s do everything we can to make them feel good about themselves again!

    Curvy girls have had to deal with the short end of the stick for ages. Maybe this will help the skinnies actually have some self esteem that is built ON THEIR OWN for once.

    • Amanda

      Or maybe we could just stop trying to give each other a taste of our own medicines and stop giving advice to people en masse based on physical characteristics. I’m positive that you don’t need anyone to tell you that many thin women have self esteem that comes from within, based on inner as well as outer beauty. At least I really hope you don’t. So why don’t we just all collectively drop it?

  • Renee

    I’m naturally skinny and people who just meet me think they can judge and say whatever they want about the way I look because it’s “desirable”. Well guess what? I don’t “desire” people to poke my stomach, measure my wrist, or tell me to eat more (I eat more than the average girl and have a high metabolism). People just need to keep their hands and comments to themselves, no matter who the person is or situation.

  • Kelly

    “Everyone is beautiful. Except for people with asymmetrical faces.”

    I agree with everyone who has expressed dismay over this hurtful statement. Persons with asymmetrical features have no more control over this than curvy or skinny girls have over their weight.

  • Heather

    When I was a teenager, I was very thin, as was my best friend. I remember getting the occasional comment that we were too thin and should be eating more. While it made me think about my body a bit more, it certainly didn’t devastate me, nor her. Having since put on quite a bit of weight, I can tell you that I get judged a lot more now than I ever did as a thin girl, and the comments have certainly gotten more insulting. While I feel for anyone being judged for something that is generally out of their control, I think you’ll find that women who have been stomped on their entire life by everyone and everything around them will have a hard time feeling sorry for women who get kicked in the shin once and a while. While that doesn’t excuse the bitter “eat a sandwich” comments at all, it will probably explain the annoyed comments you’re getting from that side of the population.

    And by the way, I might have had more respect for this article if you hadn’t gone and invalidated your entire argument by going and insulting women who don’t have perfectly symmetrical faces. Awesome way to make your point. Maybe next time, try to write a article about this topic that doesn’t go and insult a large portion of your audience. Fail!

    • Amanda

      I feel like the point of the article is being missed. For me, it doesn’t seem to be about feeling sorry for anyone, rather it’s about the absurdity of responding to intolerance with intolerance. I don’t think anyone’s at a loss as to why people are making annoyed comments. One groups obviously taken a bigger and longer-duration beating than the other (at least recently). It makes sense that curvier people would think, “How dare you complain? Our suffering is so much greater, it’s your turn for once.” We could keep taking turns. We could keep torturing each other indefinitely. But eventually it’ll keep coming back to us. If we don’t want it to be our turn in another ten, twenty, or a hundred years, one of us is going to have to sacrifice our righteous indignation and let the cruelty of the other slide.

    • Alex

      I think the point of the symmetrical face comment is that Christina Hendricks has a very pretty face(that would be pretty on just about any body type) not just a nice figure.

      Also ,aren’t there better ways to feel beautiful than to belittle someone else.

  • Katie

    Perspective: I was heavier growing up. I worked extremely hard to get in great shape – incredible shape – and loved it (my body, physique, energy, strength, and yes, thinness). People who knew me from before began making snide remarks in the guise of “being worried” – you should gain some weight, your face looks better thinner, are you ok, over and over and over, with multiple variations. Meanwhile, I am still having fun in the gym with my friends there seeing if we can get more definition here, better form there, etc. Comments from everybody else continue, increase, and at some point I hit an emotional breakpoint from family in particular screaming at me to gain weight. The result? I put on 100 lbs in 2 months. They stopped commenting. My dad apologized for “misunderstanding” and even offered to buy me new suits if I wanted to get back in shape. (Because I put on such a huge amount of weight in such a short amount of time the clothes in my closet are 0′s, xxs and then 14 / 16′s. I am in between jobs now so unless I had/have a meeting mostly wore/wear gym clothes). So – all this to say – I think there is tremendous pressure put on thin girls – whether because they are that way naturally or because they work hard to be so. I think it is unfair, wrong, unpleasant. As is being fat, and working to once again be in great shape. (But this time with enough psychological barriers in place to prevent caving in to external pressure to look a little more like the rest of the, for the most part, fat American population).

  • Thank you!

    Thank you so much for this article. I have always been a size 0-1 but I recently went through an illness which caused me to lose a lot of weight. The comments I recieved from girls were awful. Complete strangers would grab my wrists and comment on how skinny they were or ask me if i “didn’t like eating or something”. It made me hate myself! Everybody should love their bodies for what they are no matter what shape or size

  • aly

    I’m so glad someone brought this up I have always been accused of being anorexic or having an eating disorder at school like seriously i can’t help it i eat and eat still don’t gain any weight. Some people need to realize that some girls can’t have curves it all depends on your body structure. And to the people to tell us to get over it I’ll get over it when people stop calling me and other naturally skinny girls anorexic or a twig and thinking it’s okay because she’s skinny. I don’t go up to fat people and tell them to lose weight or call them mean names. Oh and apparently I’m not a real women because I’m not a size 10.Then what am i a robot!

  • aly

    I’m so glad you brought this up I have always been accused of being anorexic or having an eating disorder like seriously people I can’t help being 101 pounds, i eat and eat and i still can’t gain any weight. Some people need to realize that some girls can’t have any curves it all depends on your body structure. And to the people saying to get over it I’ll get over it when people stop calling me and naturally skinny girls twig or anorexic. You guys act like skinny girls don’t have any feelings. If i told a fat girl to stop eating so much food or tell them how big they are you would call me a horrible person. Oh and another thing apparentely i’m not a “real” women then what am I, a robot! Rant over.

  • miriam

    yeah, that one line was being totally sarcastic. it was being “said” from the POV of the people who say they find christina gorgeous because of her curves, but if you get to the bottom of it, they find her gorgeous cause her face is pretty (this is obviously NOT applicable to everyone who finds her beautiful, but certainly lately she’s become something of an icon, and there are people “jumping on the bandwagon” so to speak). the whole point at the beginning was that christina is gorgeous, and people wouldn’t give a shit about her (admittedly gorgeous) body if she didn’t have a gorgeous face. the author was in no way insulting people who consider their features asymmetrical!

  • Nora

    Thank you so much for writing this article. I thought I was one of like 5 women in the world who had to take this every day. I don’t like to complain about it because it sometimes can hurt people who have the opposite problem. In my aesthetic opinion, chubby is beautiful and I will never be chubby. I can’t tell you how much it hurts me especially when a curvy girl insults me (it’s not just making fun, often it’s 100% malicious insult) because of my weight problem, something I have no control over.
    Women really can’t win in the Weight Game, as Katie illustrated above. It’s fucked and NONE of us should buy into it.

    • Nora

      I mean below, not above.

  • Danielle

    I’ve been overweight all my life and 2 years ago I decided to loose the extra because I constantly felt embarrassed and ashamed of my body. Even though I get the occasional “eat a sandwich” which makes me feel shitty after all the work I’ve put into getting where I am now, i’d still rather get a HUNDRED sandwich comments than feel the silent pressure to loose weight again. I love who I am now and I love who I was then, but as someone who’s walked on both side of the line, believe me, the two do not compare. Yes, some people are naturally skinny, but some people are also naturally curvy or even overweight, and there’s no argument where the harsher social pressures lie. So yes, of course, we need to be accepting of all body types, and I’m sure that will come eventually, but my god, let the curvy girls have this one.

  • Poodlebear

    This reminds me an awful lot of when I attended a fairness in the workplace meeting and a fellow there was concerned about who would make sure the rights of young white males were protected…

    • Eileen

      Not to be snide, but they should be. Supporting equal rights means supporting equal rights for everyone, and discriminating against someone because he was recently born a white man – things that are all totally out of his control – means that you are not supporting equal rights.

    • amy

      Completely off topic, but Eileen you’ve kind of missed the point of what she was trying to say, also your perception of equality seems distorted. The rights of young white males don’t need to be championed, it’s very evident that they aren’t going anywhere. Equality can only be reached through creating equal opportunity, thus unique opportunities have to be offered to minorities to even have a chance at being on par with young white males.

      That discussion aside, I think the OP makes an excellent point, well said.

    • Eileen

      I’m not asking for their rights to be championed, just respected. People don’t request the privilege they receive for arbitrary reasons anymore than they request the disadvantages they may face in this world. I didn’t ask to be biracial. I didn’t ask to be a woman. I didn’t sit down, pre-birth, and decide that I wasn’t going to be born unless it was to loving, well educated parents. I have some control over the size of my body, but almost none over my shape. I’ve gotten mean comments about all of these things, and I don’t think that that’s right or fair, because there are enough things about my personality to criticize if you don’t like me; don’t choose the things I can’t change.

      I just think that the experience of being human is difficult for everyone and for different reasons. Unless I know someone very well, I don’t know what challenges or hardships he’s faced in his life; I don’t know about her physical or mental health. Purposely or through carelessness saying something unkind or even assuming that because someone happens to be privileged in noticeable ways he must have had an easier life than yours isn’t kind, charitable, or fair.

    • Katelynn

      Eileen’s perception of equality is absolutely correct. Equality means all people are treated… equally! It doesn’t mean the dominant class gets to be punished for their wrongs. It also doesn’t mean that the previously privileged class gets to become the new underprivileged class. Remember, two wrongs don’t make a right.

      Everyone should be treated with respect regardless of size, race, sex, social status, or religion.

  • katlyn

    stop playing the victim. we get it. ur skinny. try being fat some time then get mad.

    • Mixi

      Sounds like a whinge post to me. Seems you missed her point entirely. It’s about the acceptance all of different body sizes. She specified the skinny people because many people are so stuck on what they think is discrimination against women with curves (or overweight) while they are just insulting the ones with naturally thin bodies.

    • isla

      wow. you don’t sound bitter at all.

      snarky comments about weight hurt if you’re thin or fat. stop being mad and try understanding.

  • Mary

    The only skinny girls I don’t like are the ones who make me feel bad for not being one of them.

  • Mary

    The only skinny girls I don’t like are the ones that make me feel bad for not being one of them.

  • Hanz

    This is sort of one of those things where I don’t think you get to complain unless you’re on the societal “bad” side. Sort of like how white people shouldn’t complain about how there’s a BET and not a WET. All of television is WET, sort of like how every advertisement is skinny empowerment.
    And I’m not saying it’s your fault. And I’m not even talking about (just) fat girls, I’m talking about curvy ones, girls who are not over weight, who just have a lotta hip and breast.
    I’m just saying, until you’ve spent six years of your life crying when you look in the mirror or hunched over the toilet because you ate 24 gold fish and the plan was 18, you really can’t say it sucks for you too. Because it doesn’t, it really doesn’t.
    So stop with the poor little rich girl thing. It’s especially hard to feel sorry for you when you make fun of eating disorders, because you’re right. It’s not always the skinny girls, in fact- base on my two years in intensive programs- it’s usually the curvy ones.

    • Alex

      You think skinny girls don’t hate themselves when they look in the mirror? For you it’s your weight for others it’s their big nose or strong jaw or complete lack of breasts. You notice the skinny girls in the advertisements I notice their cute little noses and heart shaped faces.

    • lulz

      Cry more fatso. Uh oh, going to need more therapy again?

  • Nikki

    I’m a chubby girl. My problem with this article is that it’s not only in derisive comments and snide remarks that chubby girls are insulted. We can’t find clothes that fit – we have to shop at specialty stores. Bus seats, train seats, airplane seats all give us bruises on our hips. It’s easy to walk into any store at a mall and find a small size. Try finding a size 18/20 anywhere but Lane Bryant. So yes, I agree that women should embrace their bodies at whatever size and work to love themselves without being affected by outside influences. But overall, I think chubby girls still need a break. It’s still harder to be fat than it is to be thin.

  • IamK8

    I think as a society, we have totally missed the point. What about being healthy? Do what you have to do to be healthy. For some women, being thin is healthy for their body type and the same with curvy women. What if we concentrated on eating right and exercising and feeling good physically/mentally/emotionally? Unfortunately, we focus on what we see on the outside more that anything else. That is why it’s up to us to focus on our self-esteem and being healthy for our body type.

  • E

    I think the real problem here is that in our society it is perfectly acceptable to comment on peoples bodies/ weight. unless you know someone personally and know that they are being unhealthy in a potentially life threatening way keep your comments to yourself. the thing is even if you are complimenting someones weight loss or gain it makes them feel hyper aware of their weight and body. I don’t know how many times someone has told me I looked good since i had gained/lost a little weight when I actually weighed exactly the same as I always had. I think that as long as your weight isn’t preventing you from being happy or healthy then we need to just stop focusing on it as some sort of measure of being an attractive woman.

  • Juniper

    Hear hear, sister! My friends of extra girth all went on sparkpeople and friended each other in an awesome effort to lose weight. I joined as I had about 15 pounds to lose. BOY, did that piss them off. I was the devil! I, too, wanted to be more healthy, eat more healthy, and lose some summer bbq weight. I created an account they didn’t know about and have work my ass off to lose 10 lbs. But, I know I can’t tell them how proud of myself I am no matter how difficult it has been.

    I’ve grown up naturally small my whole life, but I’m asymmetrical, so my friends have that going for them. I’ve been called so many hurtful names, been called anorexic, came in to find food on my desk, etc etc. It wouldn’t be ok for me to call them morbidly obese, or to put diet pills on their desks, or to call them fatty fatty two by four. One women used to tell me, as I ate my equivalent of an egg and cheese bagel, “I hope you get huge someday, beanpole.” Who would wish that on someone? At the time, I was working as a dancer (not the naked kind) so for 9 hours a day I exercised. It was tough work but it allowed me to eat about 3500 calories a day or more without gaining weight. Now.. I have to watch it. She got her wish, kinda. Congrats.

  • Mathias

    To be honest I think curvy girls are amazing, but I still like a slender lady.

  • J

    People who are all “Curvy ladies rule, skinny ladies suck!” are still in the minority(by far!) So I am not really concerned that someone is saying that curvy/fat/chunky/average women rule and skinny ladies suck? Why? Because SKINNY LADIES ARE STILL THE “HOT NORM”. Please write this article again when being curvy/average/chunky/fat is the hot norm. Thanks!

    • V

      Eh really?
      My ex of several months joined a Facebook group along the lines of the first quite in your post quite some time ago. I don’t blame him, personally I find men with a bit of meat on their bones more attractive than rakish twats. But it still made me feel absolutely horrible, and hate my 5’2″ 95lb frame even more than usual.

      Skinny isn’t the “Hot Norm” in the real world, just in tabloid/glossy “Journalism”. And I use the J-word as loosely as my size 8 Primark jeans.

  • Kelly

    Call me naieve, but I can’t believe there are women who think it’s appropriate to to say nasty things about other women’s bodies. Curvey women can be beautiful. Skinny women can be beautiful. Mean women aren’t beautiful.

  • JBlitzzz

    I’m sick of the fat girl v. skinny girl debate. Let’s all just eat a pint of nice cream, watch some Sex and the City and then get laid. Game over.

    • Kate

      Word. <3

  • Jennifer

    Okay, this is not meant to be a whine feast, I just want to point out a few things…. I have to admit I was glad to see this article at first because I thought it was promoting excepting all women & then you had to throw in the ” Except for people with asymmetrical faces. Those people should wear more make-up.” What the $%^ is that? Geez.

    I’m just at a complete loss of how people are so cruel to each other. Yes, I know we can’t help who we are attracted too, I get that, but I wish people would stop being so cruel to people that can’t help the way they look. I guess I’m just utterly screwed because I’m skinny, flat chested & I have a long nose. It’s not like I had a choice of how I turned out!

    I also wish that people would stop saying oh they need a nose job or need a boob job. I wish that people would realize that plastic surgery does not work for everyone. Regarding the nose, some people are very lucky & have the right amount of cartilage that the doctor can work with, others not so much so the best the doctor can do is “try “to make it look better. There are some people that nothing can be done, so why make them feel bad? Is it to make yourself feel more beautiful, powerful, dominant over that person?

    OhI & I love how guys feel at liberty to make comments about how woman look especially when most of the men that comment are average at best and have their own flaws that they choose to ignore. Do you guys remember a couple of years back when Maxim made the list of the 10 ugliest woman? Can you imagine the pain and hurt that caused some of those woman?

    Bottom line is most people can’t help the way they look & I guess people just really don’t give a #$% about how people feel.

    I don’t know of anyone who chooses to be unattractive so can’t we just keep our comments to yourself instead of pointing out the obvious and making the person feel like crap? That’s all I’m saying.

    • ashley

      yes, exactly.

  • Hanz

    Right, but my point wasn’t that I’m the only insecure one, it was that the group with the societal advantages shouldn’t complain. I am a middle class white female, so it’s not okay for me to complain about times when my race or class isn’t favored, especially publicly, because such the advantaged classes oppressions aren’t really notable when compared with those the disadvantage classes face.
    Imagine you work 50 hours a week and make 19 grand a year, and your best friend is the heir to a billion dollar fortune. Lets say her dad refuses to buy her something nonessential, like a new handbag. Then she complains to you because he’s such a jerk, and she never gets what she wants. Maybe that’s true, maybe he actually refuses to let her buy clothes all the time, but that still seems like a stupid thing to complain about when you can barely afford rent. It’s the same sort of thing, on a smaller scale.

    And since you have no idea what I look like, or even which country I’m in, I think I’ll be alright. Good try though, asswipe.

  • Niki

    Wow, so much anger. Just ignore other “opinions” about your body and focus on health. Eat well, live well, be happy, and stop judging others. Eat for nutrition – exercise for enjoyment. Some people are naturally bigger, some smaller even when living the same lifestyle. I do happen to believe, though, that although obese people should be as loved as anyone else, it isn’t healthy for them in the long run. But I don’t think this article was talking about obesity.

    This whole attitude that the media is deciding what is beautiful and what isn’t is crazy. Don’t blame the media. I see ALL sizes represented in Hollywood. Find some beautiful women with your body type and be at peace with it, if you need that boost.

    People seem to have a tendency to lash out at others when they have low self-esteem. I think it is sad and very transparent to others that you are feeling jealousy. It makes you look bad and petty. Once you stop judging yourself it will be easy to stop that behaviour and those feelings. I’ve been there and I still struggle at times to accept my body, especially as I’ve gone through pregnancy, but I realized that if anything deserves love, it’s my body.

  • J

    If solidarity between women of all body types is what we’re going for, then this article is pointing us in the wrong direction. Rather than approach these alleged detractors of thindom with reason and compassion (and a necessary understanding of where their attempt at self-valorization is coming from!) the author throws sarcasm and hostility in their faces. That is only going to drive a bigger wedge between thin and thick women and prevent us from respecting and valuing each other– just as so many angry words thrown around in self-defense by stay-at-home moms and working moms fuel the mommy wars instead of promoting respect for any woman’s choice. (or size. or hair color. or orientation. and so on.)

    What’s the benefit of the “deal with it” attitude? What’s with the insidious double-mention of some imaginary danish? Are you trying to snark on some hypothetical chubby girl whom you’re subtly putting down as you defend your size? (Does anyone else see the sad paradox here?) I ask in all honestly (not expecting an answer); do you expect this tone to actually help reconcile different kinds of women, all of whom are just trying to feel beautiful? Or are you just going for humor (the hostility is really not that funny), or are you trying to strengthen what you perceive as being your “side” of this body-image battle?

    As for choosing someone who wholeheartedly agrees with and applauds the author as “Comment of the Day” and ignoring many other thoughtful comments that were more about the complexity of the issue and the depth of our emotional reactions to it, well… that’s too bad. I know that Gloss isn’t exactly Jezebel, but still.

    Accepting all body types doesn’t mean you have to lob backhanded insults and mean-girl comments at the bigger girls while rallying the skinny girls under some false banner of self-defense.

    • Jennifer Wright

      Well, this doesn’t really have all that much to do with body size. This has to do with not being an asshole to people who are different from you. It’s not about people of any particular size, it’s about intolerant people. As for my side, is your side “it’s cool to hate on anyone you feel like?” Because I really don’t feel a need to coddle those people.

  • Poppy

    I think this extends beyond body size. I lost a great deal of weight a few years ago AND was inspired by a completely separate incident to start dressing up more. I am not thin, by any stretch of the imagination, but I am closer than I ever have been to the aesthetic our culture deems appropriate for women. Mostly I get very nice feedback from strangers or people I’ve just met, but it’s also not uncommon for a woman who has never met me to assume I’m snooty. Not long ago I attended some training classes, and the only other woman present avoided me like the plague. I found out later that yes, she had assumed I was stuck up. I am a very friendly person, actually, and made several attempts to meet her, but she would literally move herself to the other side of the room if she thought I was approaching. I wish I could say this was a rare occurence, but it’s not. And, unlike when I was very overweight and could openly say that someone seemed to be treating me poorly because of my size, it is not really socially acceptable to say I think someone is treating me poorly because I’m closer to what our culture deems attractive. In our culture it’s not even acceptable to acknowledge that one is attractive or smart or a host of other positive things. If you’re “lucky” enough to be thin or attractive or smart or whatever, you deserve the negative reactions, right?

  • CaorlAnn Edie

    You know what’s beautiful?

    Confidence. A huge smile. Friendliness.

    Every.Single.Person.Responds to these things.

    And it is so simple to do those things!!

    Keep it classy, keep it sexy, keep it you.
    Love,
    CarolAnn
    http://CharismaU.com

  • Poppy

    Actually, many, many people in our culture consider it perfectly okay, practically a right, even, to remark in hurtful ways on the size of an overweight person. Just in the last couple of months one friend of mine was mooed at as she was entering a grocery store, and another friend, who has been working hard to prepare to run a 5K, had someone shout from a car that she was too fat to make it. Those are only the stories I’ve heard. Having been very overweight, I can tell you in all honesty that many people see nothing wrong with showering such insults on a person who is not thin. And just try complaining about it to any authority figure. When a close friend set up a meeting with her daughter’s teacher to discuss how other students were barraging her with insults about her weight, the teacher’s response was, “Well, have you ever tried putting her on a diet?” No acknowledgment at all that the other students were doing something wrong. After all, if you’re overweight it’s your fault and you deserve what you get.

  • J

    It’s definitely “not cool to hate on anyone you feel like”– my issue with this piece is that it seems you’re sending hate back instead of requesting tolerance and understanding, and that approach seems counterproductive. Thus my distaste for the “Deal with it” attitude, and the girl who gripes that she’s not allowed to say “Take some diet pills,” as though it’s something that’s on her mind and the tip of her tongue. Sending it back doesn’t help. Understanding the hurt and resentment that have led to the hating-on-skinnies movement might be more helpful than handing someone a danish and then telling them to “Deal with it.”

    • Cherry

      It’s called satire. And I’m pretty sure you just summed up exactly what the author already said… Try reading your quoted statements in context and you may find the article has a completely different tone.

      For example, she didn’t hand large ladies a virtual danish and tell them to “deal with it”. If you read the proceeding statements, it actually says: “Women. They come in different sizes. Sometimes that size is an extra-small. Deal with it.” And why shouldn’t we learn to deal with different sizes? Is there something horribly wrong with that?

  • Teressa

    I’m a huge follower of fat acceptance blogs, and fat acceptance culture in general, but it’s always turned my stomach the way many of those folks feel it within their rights to bash women who are, by turn, just as underweight as the women they celebrate being *overweight*. Great article, very witty.

  • Teressa

    I believe the make up comment was a joke, another jab at the idea that women SHOULD have to look a certain way.

  • Alicia
  • Cherry

    Prejudice toward bigger people is very deeply ingrained in this country’s belief system and we need to learn to be more accepting and sensitive rather than blame them for their body type. That doesn’t mean, however, that it’s OK to lash out at skinny people in some sort of an attempt at vindication. Some of us are teased just as badly as the bigger girls.

    As a skinny girl (at least I was extremely skinny up until I took large doses of Prednisone for a year) I heard all sorts of insults. A co-worker once remarked to a boyfriend that I “probably look like a drowned rat in the shower”. People always assumed that I must not be receiving adequate nourishment: “After all, no one can be that small without having an eating disorder”. Comments like these affected my body image and my self-esteem. I felt ugly and prayed that I could gain weight so people would stop making fun of me. Since then my metabolism has slowed down, but I’ve learned to love myself, inside and out, regardless of what others think. And isn’t that the primary focus we should have as women?

    Why can’t we learn to love ourselves, and each other, instead of tossing around blame and insults?

    • Cherry

      I should probably note that I gained 30 lbs while on my medication and immediately started getting fat comments! What really bothers me about that is the fact that no one ever seems to be happy. There is such a fine line between what people consider “fat” and “too skinny” that only a small percentage of the population could ever achieve society’s ideal weight and look. I don’t know about you ladies, but I’m ready to get to the root of this problem! Let’s give up the bickering and insults and work for a country in which our girls can feel beautiful!

    • Viv

      Because only men are satisfied with themselves.

  • Lily

    Now skinny jokes, eh? Here’s some of the ones I’ve heard, me being a skinny gal and all: “REAL women have curves.” “Even a dog wants to bury the bone.” “She’s too skinny, you f*** her and she’d break in half.” “She’s so skinny she turns sideways and you’d miss her.” “Put some rocks in your shoes so you don’t blow away.” Those are a few of the insults I’ve heard my whole life, not to mention the accusations of obviously NEVER eating, and the accusations of anorexia and bulemia are oh-so funny! Christina is beautiful, but so is Kate Moss. What’s wrong with showing different types of women as beautiful? Why is the media now thinking about just showing Christina’s body as the “ideal”? We don’t all look like Christina and we don’t all look like Kate. We’re all individuals, and we all look different. It’s about time we give equal attention to all different types of women.

  • Avery

    You obviously are a bitch no one need more make up i don’t think anyone had a perfectly symmetrical face so don’t start everyone is beautiful exactly the way we are. STOP HATING c:

  • adsf

    “We’re in the process of trying to figure all that out,” Tortorella said. “I think it would be good for the players to just go down there and play and get some games in.”
    Wolski not played since October 24; even since being activated off injured reserve January 5, the 25-year-old has not been able to crack the roster.
    “I’m not forcing it,” Tortorella said. “We monitor our http://www.42room.com/ football players. I guess the answer [is], I’m not saying we have to get him in, because I like some things going on with our team right now. That’s the situation. He hasn’t played a whole bunch. We’ll see how other guys go along here and if we feel we have to get someone in, he’ll probably be the next guy to get an opportunity.”

  • Twisted

    Thank you!!

    Let’s just realize the true beauty everyone holds, no matter what size they are. Less hating, more loving who we are.

  • Seza

    Sweet article!

    Theres definitely a big double standard with ‘skinny’ and ‘curvy’ girls.

    As a ‘skinny’ girl i get verbally bashed when I wear kind of revealing things- for sports or a party, a bikini at the beach, when I eat lots- people get angry at how unfair my high metabolism is, at rare times I’m full- people call me out on being anorexic, drunken randoms at parties call me a skinny bitch and tell me I need more meat on me… etc. … and all thats perfectly acceptable- the norm.

    But if I were ever to say to one of my ‘curvier’ friends that theyre looking kinda big today…. well DAMN AM I A BITCH.

    Seriously though. All kinds of body types can be beautiful k. Except really underweight or overweight. Which varies for each person.

    You might feel better about yourself by calling out them ‘anorexic, flat chested sluts’ or those ‘fat, greedy bitches’ but really you look like an insecure, ignorant and generally pathetic person.

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  • ACCEPT ME AS I AM

    The only reason I have a problem with the statement is the impact it will have on those women who are neither skinny nor curvy, and the girls who will grow up to fall into this same category. It seems in this battle they are hardly recognized as human, much less woman. This is where I believe the problem lies, in the fact that of embracing one body type which surprisingly not a large number of women have that a greater population of women are left to be unimportant and worse, not beautiful. In both the skinny and curvy supporting articles, straight up and down girls or those who don’t have that much of a figure have been thrown to the side as unattractive (and please don’t say skinny girls are straight up and down because any man who has bedded one knows that lie ain’t true; there is something known to the world as skinny curves_ check it up)