Katy Perry Is Neither As Sexy or As Interesting as the Burlesque Stars She Tries to Emulate

Katy Perry took to the stage on the “Today Show” this morning amidst piles of cotton candy to perform songs from her new album, and all I can think of when I see this photo is slapping her across her unoriginal face.

I have wanted to like Katy Perry, I really have. “I Kissed a Girl,” while vapid, was catchy. Perry herself is adorable, and somehow she landed Russell Brand. But every single thing she does serves to make her more and more annoying, and lately, when she’s just repeatedly revealing how untalented and unoriginal she is, I have to say that she has officially gone down in my book as a Pop Star Whose Fame Is Undeserved.

So, let’s talk about that interview in Rolling Stone, for starters. I kept waiting for her to say something interesting. But honestly, even Vanessa Grigoriadis, the reporter, seemed bored with her. The entire story hinged on the idea that Perry loves attention. Literally. A few paragraphs in, after reporting that Perry responded to rumors that she smack-talked Miley Cyrus with a tweet saying “I love that ho,” Grigoriadis writes that:

Perry mainlines attention the way her fiance, Russell Brand, once did with heroin (and now does with attention), so she found the entire interaction to be deeply satisfying. Not only did hundreds of gossip sites report on her tweet, but she had also managed to publicly call 17-year-old Miley Cyrus a “ho.” That was naughty. That was walking the line. That was exactly the kind of moment that Perry lives for.

Dude. That’s fucking obnoxious. That’s the most interesting thing that Rolling Stone could find to base an article about her on? That’s fucking pathetic (for Perry, not Rolling Stone). I mean, every famous person loves attention. They wouldn’t have sought fame otherwise. Katy Perry, though, apparently just has absolutely nothing else going for her.

Because let’s be real — we’re all heard her songs. Yes, California Gurls is a hit, but that doesn’t change the fact that it’s a terrible song. She also can’t sing. And her look and her stage shows are completely unoriginal — that “Today Show” stage set is some straight Dita von Teese shit, with those cartoonishly massive, consumable props. And her style is a direct Betty Page rip-off, which has actually been ripped off by legions of women for decades, making her whole deal a rip-off of a rip-off.

And so, all told, Katy Perry is unoriginal, untalented, boring, and yet self-obsessed. Who likes this chick?

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    • estrella

      Oh man, I so love you for writing this. It’s exactly what I’ve been thinking for months. I’m a massive Russell Brand fan, and when some people hear of my Katy Perry disdain, they assume I’m just jealous of her. But really, I wanted to like her. I would be thrilled for Russell if he were in a relationship with someone really cool and sexy and talented. Instead, I just feel like she’s dumbing him down (because he, although he may love attention like all famous people, actually has brains & originality). Katy Perry’s whole schtick is just ripping off more interesting & talented performers, and I agree with you that her level of attention-seeking is appalling. Ugh. Just go away, Katy.

    • eEv

      I was in a bookstore yesterday and that song “Ur So Gay” came on. I came to the conclusion that it’s actually kind of funny, but not for the reason Katy Perry thinks. She intends for you to laugh with her, but it’s much easier to laugh at her– this petulant little girl lobbing meaningless insults, who thinks that being thin and liking Myspace equals homosexuality. Oh, and also that gay people don’t have penises.

      • nolalola26

        Ugh I always thought she was beyond obnoxious, but this is even worse. She’s immature and loathsome, and I don’t want to look at her anymore. The “that’s gay” insult has been called out for being totally rude and discriminatory, much like the R-word, and she is a backwards jerk for perpetuating its use.

    • Danielle

      um yeah…I love Katy Perry. I think she has a great voice, great style and awesome music. She’s also gorgeous and she DOES have a good voice.

    • Miss Mel

      This past American Idol season Katy was a guest judge during auditions. I remember Katy harshly overreacting in her assessment of each contestant. Her superior attitude and snap judgments were completely unfounded considering her lack of talent.

      • Lilit Marcus

        I totally agree, but I have a theory for why she was behaving that way. She was auditioning. There were a lot of rumors going around about Simon leaving the show and a possible shakeup at the judges’ table, and she wanted to show producers what a good Simon-esque “mean judge” she could be. Fortunately, it didn’t work.

    • ChickP

      I agree with every word you have written, you articulated my feelings really well. It astounds me that she makes so much money from her music?!

    • Cori

      I’m still torn on whether or not I like her. On one hand, her music is just awful. On the other hand I think that if she were more original, & therefore interesting, she’d be much more likable. I don’t think she’s a terrible singer & there must be something interesting about her for someone like Russel Brand to want to marry her. Maybe this vapid & boring thing is just for show? Idk.

    • Kalifornia

      I like Katy Perry.
      Many young stars have to tread lightly around everyday issues, trying to please everyone by being politically correct, but KP pokes fun at that style with catchy music that breaks that uncomfortable barrier.
      And so what if she plays around with other ideas, she’s finding her style…
      While some of her antics are a little extreme; I wouldn’t have posted that on twitter with my fans watching, I need to say, she’s young and talented, give her a break. What’s wrong with wanting a little attention?

    • nolalola26

      I can’t STAND her. She’s trying to stand up against someone like Lady Gaga (who I am TOTALLY sick of and annoyed by), but she can’t. Gaga, while being over-hyped, ridiculous, and famewhore-y, is at least interesting.

    • Emily

      Thank you for your excellent article about Katy Perry. I thought I was the only one who noticed the blatant rip off the original Betty Paige. It is not even subtle it is visual plagiarism. By the way, I saw an interview where KP thought that Canada was not part of North America. It comes as no surprise that KP did not graduate from high school. I find it odd that she constantly brings up her breasts as if they are an achievement of some kind. In case you had any doubt that they are fake Judge for yourself – See u Tube under – plastikes stithous breast implants, also in the same location on U tube, you can find the truth- at Katy Perry pictures before breast implants. Unfortunately I, l have seen the California Gurls video – Awful! Psychologists say that when people share a painful life exp. They connect and bond. I do not know you however based on your response to KP I feel a kinship with you we both endured this experience I empathize with your pain. I wish I could erase it from my mind. There is an unseen benefit with early onset dementia .I am embarrassed that I fall into the same species as her. I feel nauseas as she acts like an innocent little girl while dressed as a cheap stripper then displays her trade mark “I am so cute but naughty wink followed by raising her eyebrows in feigned surprise then does the fake flirty smile and covers her mouth with her hand. She’s like the drunken girl at the party that laughs at her own jokes, and is stupid, then your date says”Wow she’s funny.” You make a mental note I am never seeing him again. I do not understand why so many people like this person.