• Mon, Sep 6 2010

Modern Etiquette: When To Intercept a Friend’s Drunken Hook-Up

Over at College Candy, there’s an article about letting friends go home with dudes from bars for drunken hook-ups. The author states that her friends would probably not intercept a potential one night stand, despite the fact that a recent survey from the National Institute of Alcohol reports that 39% of students would “persuade someone to not go by reminding her that she may regret it.” (unclear whether they only polled chicks or not, but it sounds like that might be the case).

Well, here’s what I think. I know that most of the time, your buddies are hoping to look out for your best interests. And sometimes they may be totally right. But I think some guidelines need to be established here — a drunken hook-up is generally a wonderful learning experience, and should only be intercepted by well-meaning friends under the following circumstances (and this applies whether you are in college or divorced at 60):

  1. You can tell that your friend is too bombed to really know what she’s doing. You know her well enough, and if you’ve been drunk with her enough times, you know what this looks like. Don’t let her go if you think she’s blacked out or is really that drunk.
  2. The guy is creepy enough to give you pause. Maybe he’s got crazy eyes, or maybe he just seems like a Van der Sloot in the making. In this case, it’s probably still a good idea to take your friend to the bathroom and try to talk to her about it — if you guys are tight enough, she’ll probably listen.
  3. You overheard him saying something shady — he has a wife or girlfriend, or he said something degrading about your friend (or any other woman, for that matter). This also isn’t the time to pussyfoot around. Grab your friend by the arm and tell her exactly what he said.
  4. You saw him put something in her drink. OBV. Also, tell the bartender and call the cops.

Whether she goes or not, the best way to ensure safety is to make her get his number and give it to you, and have her call you and check in. Or you can call her. Either way. Safety first. And use a condom. And keep those grades up.

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  • Angry!

    Uh.

    What? #4?

    Was this written for fools?!

    http://arguingwithadoughnut.blogspot.com

  • Anna

    Even if these steps are followed, you are still taking a risk letting your friend leave with a guy. The bottom line is that, unless you personally know the guy, it’s dangerous. As a grown woman, your friend is free to decide for herself, but make sure she is aware of the risks and absolutely certain this is what she wants before letting her leave with a guy. Get his name, number and the address to which he is taking her. You can never be too safe.