• Wed, Sep 15 2010

Have You Ever Broken Up With a Friend?

According to E!, Jessica Simpson and Ken Paves have broken up. However, this isn’t your typical Hollywood split, because they weren’t dating. Paves was Simpson’s hairstylist and close friend. The two were often photographed hanging out together, and he accompanied her to various countries as she taped her show The Price of Beauty. But apparently the love affair is over – reportedly because they had a big fight about “something petty.”

I have also broken up with friends before. In most of the cases, though, it wasn’t so much a breakup as a gentle parting of ways. Sometimes you grow up and older and don’t have as much in common as you used to – that’s the natural passing of time. But I can only think of one situation where I flat-out said “I don’t think we should be friends anymore.”

Her name was “Bonnie.” She was one of the first friends I made when I moved to New York, and I think we became friends more out of our mutual loneliness than any common interests. I was broke and trying to live on the cheap; she was supported by her parents and always wanted to go to nice restaurants. I was dating this skinny hipster guy in a band; she encouraged me to go out on dates with investment bankers and find out how much they paid for their apartments in order to guess how much their annual salary was. Soon, we each found friends who were more like us and went our separate ways. It was a life lesson I needed to learn as an adult, but I still kind of regret what happened. Bonnie and I just didn’t click – and that’s okay, because not everyone does. But for a long time I felt like I should have tried harder to make it work out.

Fortunately for both Bonnie and me, our breakup never made it to a gossip website. Jessica and Ken aren’t quite as lucky.

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  • Eileen

    Yes, and I still sometimes feel guilty about it. Granted, she was pretty spoiled – and always wanted to shove it in your face how much more she had than you – and possessive, and clingy, and most importantly, I just didn’t like her or think we had much in common. But we were in seventh grade, and I gave her the “it’s not you; it’s me” speech (which seems so original when you’re in seventh grade) in the lunch room (I cannot BELIEVE I did it in public), and she cried, and then I felt horrible. Just not horrible enough to tell her I didn’t mean it.

  • lo

    Wow, Eileen… I feel like we had the same friend! Except my friend and I were friends since 7th grade and she didn’t become a possessive, clingy brat until we went away to college (over 1000 miles apart). Every breakup and makeup she and her dirtbag boyfriend went through, I was the shoulder to cry on… to the point where I was an emotional crutch, and if I didn’t drop everything in my life to take care of her, she’d become passive aggressive and attack me for “ignoring her,” and would flip out when my personal life took precedence. Eventually, I just stopped calling, because I was sick of feeling like I was constantly under attack. She got the hint, and decided that ignoring me outright was better than being civil. Over it, and glad to not be guilted about living my life.