Bieber Fever. Blech.
I’m not one of those anti-Justin Bieber people. I’m more of a “he looks just like my 13-year-old cousin (or vice-versa) and he has an affectation so he’s pretty much a fake” kind of person. I’m sure he’s a nice young boy when he’s not throwing water balloons at the police. But that’s the point. He’s a young boy. He has a lot of growing up to do, voice changing to go through, girls to actually date and he will probably be a Proactiv spokesperson in five years. So, I’ll judge him once he’s had his “I was a child star” crisis at 23 and put him on a scale of Recovered to Corey Feldman (loosely based off the recovery of the Backstreet Boys).
It’s you I’m judging. Yes, you. The one obsessed with Justin Bieber. Stop it! I don’t care if you’re a 12-year-old girl or a 50-year-old man. Just. Stop. Pining. Over. This. Kid. Please. Thank you. There’s nothing wrong with being a crazy fan every once in a while. I myself went nuts during Fashion’s Night Out when I made sure the only place and person I looked at the whole night was Rachel Zoe’s loyal and wildly entertaining style director, Brad Goreski. And that’s what I did. It may be weird and creepy, but he’s fascinating and hilarious and beautiful. And it was just once. More than once or thrice surpasses the creepy line and verges into unhealthy, insane and, well, stupid. So, I’m going to help you get over him by offering you all sorts of extraordinary things to be obsessed with that are more acceptable than Justin Bieber.