• Wed, Sep 29 2010

5 Ways To Ruin a Bachelorette Party

Over at guyism.com, writer Shawn Norris has an article about how to ruin a bachelor party. His list includes such faux pas as saying something inappropriate to the bride’s father, passing out early, and rufie-ing the jaeger, a la “The Hangover.”

But bachelors aren’t the only ones who can kill an evening. Gone are the days when the bride-to-be sat around waiting for her prince charming to come home from the strip club — the bachelorette party is coming into it’s own. Now, not only can you go to the strip club, you can also ruin the party! Here are five ways to do it:

  1. Turn it into your therapy session. Leave your drama at the door for the night. Just because you have ten women at your disposal, doesn’t mean you should take this opportunity to get all ten of their opinions about whether or not you should end your relationship.
  2. Complain about your shoes all night. If you can’t take the heat, accept your own shortcomings and leave the stilettos at home.
  3. Get on your high horse about the festivities. If your friend’s girls are doing something illegal, or something that will get someone hurt, fine. But if you’re just turning your moral compass on the Thunder from Down Under, keep it to yourself, party pooper.
  4. Choose this as your moment to spill the beans. If you have dirt on the groom, or serious concerns about the wedding, now is not the time to talk about them. Repeat: Now. Is not the time. To talk about them.
  5. Cry. Unless you’re the bride. Then have at it. Marriage is scary.
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  • tracey

    these should be rules for ALL social events

  • Jochen Jochen o contraire

    A bit slutty. I’m sorry, but a moral compass should never be turned off period. I’m sure we could make the same argument for fucking our best friends wife. But it makes us a bad person, no matter the occasion or festivities.

    Bachelor parties and the girly counterpart are both fucked up, and i’m pretty disgusted that they’ve made their marks on contemporary western culture. It’s like someone going to rehab and then saying ” Nah, wait a minute, just give me one last night to shoot up a bunch of heroin because i’ll never see it again ) = ” The fuck? You’re about to get married. Don’t fuck it up by being a slut. Leave that shit behind you. One-last-time’isms never work for anything, it’s time to grow up.

    • Ayenne

      This isn’t the first time I notice a borderline sexist comment from someone named “Jochen.” Going through a break up?

    • Jessica Pauline Ogilvie

      Ahhhhahahahaha SLUTTY? What is wrong with you dude? First of all, don’t say “slutty” — because while you’re on your high horse about morals, guess what that word is? SEXIST! Second of all, yes — it is sexually promiscuous, which I think is what you mean, to have a bachelorette party. Yes. That’s exactly what that is. Good for you. And third of all, wow, fucking your best friend’s wife?? Not really the same thing as seeing a stripper, female or male.

  • Jape

    All great reminders… also, not to get too drunk! Taking care of a sozzled friend shuts things down — and if someone gets blitzed, it’s all too easy for all these other bad things to happen.