Happy monosyllabic rainy Friday morning!
Oh, fine, we’ll say more about it. On YourTango, a man asked:
I have a new girlfriend who is quite tall. she is 5’7″. I am kind of short for a guy. ok, i’m 5’1. Anyway, she is really fashionable and usually wears heels that make her look much taller even. I ask her why she needs to wear such high heels when she is tall already. she says she is not tall, she’s just average and that many of her friends are taller than she is. I still say she is tall. so my question is, should tall girls wear high heels?
My first response was “the only reason that girl should not wear high heels is because they make it harder to run away from guys like this.” Not really. My real first response was “the question isn’t ‘should tall girls wear high heels, dude, the question is ‘why are you being such a dick about it?’” But that reaction didn’t seem shoe related enough, so I changed it to that thing about running away in heels.
Now, to be fair, okay, the guy is clearly a little insecure. It must be hard to be on the short side if you’re a man. That’s tough.
But still, what a lame question. What’s the guy’s goal, here? To get a lot of responses that say “yes, your girlfriend should only wear flats” which he can then show his girlfriend in the hopes of getting her to switch to flats? There are a few responses that criticize his girlfriend’s insensitivity, so maybe he succeeded. I don’t know. But I think it sucks that he’s badgering his girlfriend about her choice of footwear at all.
Now, I’m equally thrown by articles in women’s magazines about “how to makeover your boyfriend!” or “How to get him to throw out his stinky old pair of jeans!” Because, at least in private life, our clothing choices are not anyone’s but our own. The last time most of us had our clothing picked out for us, we were about six. We’re grown ups now. We can all generally choose what to wear for ourselves. And there’s probably a reason that we wear what we wear. That reason is “because we like it.”
Now, if your SO comes to you for advice – because you’re fabulously fashionable just like Mark Zuckerberg -then of course you can help them out. Sure. Tell them you think they’d look extra hot in [insert item of your choice here, most likely a polar fleece hoodie with the sleeves rolled up]. But otherwise, it’s just not your business. If you hate the way your boyfriend or girlfriend dresses and want to make them over so you can feel more comfortable dating them, then maybe you should remind yourself that you are not Stacy London, and life is not an episode of What Not To Wear.
Your significant other is not an accessory that exists to look cool standing next to you. They’re a person, with their own style. And they can pick their own clothes. And, goddammit, that woman has a right to shoes.