It can be frustrating when someone you love doesn’t love you back. Â Luckily, there are some steps you can take to remedy the situation.
1. Â Classical conditioning
2. Â Scent-mediated deprogramming
DisableÂ theÂ reasoningÂ centerÂ ofÂ herÂ brainÂ byÂ coating yourself with a variety of extremely strong, unrelated scents (such as Axe body spray, carpet deodorizer and deer urine) and then standing near her. Â Her small brain cannot process so many odors at once and she will become incapacitated and thus vulnerable to your advances. Â Convince her that she loves you while she is disabled by this barrage of olfactory stimulation.
3. Â Stockholm Syndrome
Warning: Â this may be highly illegal. Â To minimize the risk of legal repercussions, tie her up using a pretty ribbon instead of rope. Â This will make it look much less like a hostage/kidnapping situation and more like something fun and lighthearted. Â Also, try to keep her from screaming.
4. Â Juxtaposition
5. Â Yell really, really loud
Yelling is one of the oldest known persuasive techniques. Â Use it to your advantage.