Sometimes I lie awake at night wondering how I could love Johnny Depp more. Yes, he was hot in the ’80s on “21 Jump Street,” and frankly, he’s still super hot, and he’s an amazing actor. But I’ve always felt like something was missing, like I just needed one more piece to complete the puzzle of my abject devotion.
And lo, along came Beatrice Delap. According to People, the 9-year-old British schoolgirl wrote a letter to Depp asking for his help in “mutinying” at school:
“Writing to his pirate alter-ego, Captain Jack Sparrow, who just happened to be stationed near her school in Greenwich, southeast London, she pleaded: ‘We are a bunch of budding young pirates. Normally we’re a right handful, but we’re having trouble mutinying against the teachers. We’d love it if you could come and help.’”
And sure enough, Captain Jack tracked her down and appeared at her school, to the joy of all of the children but let’s be real, mostly to the joy of the teachers. I would fucking die. Here’s a video: