• Wed, Oct 13 2010

The iPhone Auto-Corrects G-Spot to Equal Happy

First, let’s look at this picture. Isn’t it awesome? I took this screenshot on my phone because I saw that the auto-correct on your iPhone for “g-spot” is “happy” in this article about how Apple finally got a patent for an anti-sexting device. I thought I’d test it out on a VIP convo I was having with my friend, Allyson, about how Glee has been really slow and uninteresting lately (no, I didn’t think the Britney episode was haamaazing. I thought it was haalame and could’ve been a lot better had they maybe sung good songs like “Crazy” or “Circus”). I digress. The auto-correct for g-spot is in fact happy and fittingly so. But now that I know this it doesn’t really matter because I don’t sext. But a lot of other people do. And so do their kids. Especially their kids.

Apple and Steve Jobs have come to the rescue! They finally got a patent approved by the Feds called, a “text-based communication control for personal communication device.” That sounds boring, but I’m pretty sure they’re talking about sexting in laymens terms because the device basically monitors the “objectionable” words a texter may send or receive. Parents everywhere will soon be purchasing this device so they can be alerted every time their son or daughter texts, “I feel happy when you’re near,” but by accident says, “I feel gspot when you’re near” because the iPhone auto-correct is the devil. Seriously, every time I type “me” it says “mr” and when I say “for” it types “about.” But again, this is not about me. It’s about the children. And the children should stop sexting because it’s inappropriate and will lead to unwanted teen pregnancy, or worse, unwanted teen STDs. Thanks to Steve Jobs, parents can now prevent teen sexting. But no thanks to Steve Jobs, I’ll probably now start typing “gspot” every time I want to say “happy,” just because it’s funny.

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