Poll: Should Men Pay For the First Date?

It’s the age-old dilemma! In this crazy, modern world in which we live, who’s to pay on the first date? Sure, there are a few date situations in which this question answers itself: for instance, if one party asks the other party, the party who asks should pay. But what about the more common online dating, in which the date is a mutually agreed upon event? Or being set up by a friend? Or meeting someone at a bar? Or at a picnic? Or at a rodeo? Or after having slept with them?

What’s a modern girl to do (oy, I hope I never say that again)?

Sorry! This poll is now closed.

Men

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    • Eileen

      Be ready to split it, but don’t make a scene if he wants to pay. Do remember to say, “Thank you,” though. This generally goes with all eating-at-a-restaurant-with-someone-else situations, too…I mean, if someone takes pleasure in buying me something to eat, it’s kind of win-win.

      • Missy

        My sentiments exactly.

    • Sarah

      If a guy’s not willing to buy me dinner on our first date, he’s not getting a second date. Hands down.

      But I’m from South Carolina and have also dated who used seersucker as a wardrobe staple.. So there ya go.

      • Ashley

        I agree! If he is asking me out, then he should be paying! He should woo me, right? :)

        Incidentally, I’m from South Carolina, too. Maybe it’s a southern thing?

      • Dazy

        I am also from South Carolina, and yes, down here, it is considered impolite for a guy to not at least offer (if not insist) to pay. If the girl would rather split it, that’s her prerogative, but he ought to at least offer.

        That being said, I have a friend from down here who currently goes to school in Boston, and she finds it interesting how so many women up there get borderline outraged if a guy insists on paying for a date. She’s a feminist, but when it comes to this she’s basically like, “look, guys. Where I’m from, that’s a sign of courtesy! It doesn’t mean I generally approve of traditional gender roles, but rather that he’s trying to be nice, and I’m willing to just let him be nice!”

    • Sarah

      whoops, meant to say “dated guys who used…”

    • The Mr.

      Double standard hypocrisy once again. You women need to unify and pick sides; either support femininsim and female equality, or support the conventional way of life (in the Western world) and all it’s pros and cons. You can’t expect equality to rid you of all the cons of life – or most of them when it comes to gender – then wish to keep all the pros.

      I say split it.

      But I don’t practice what I preach :(. So I’d pay. God, I feel so dirty and like a filthy hypocrite.

      • Lilit Marcus

        Funny, I always thought the point of feminism was not to let men tell “you women” what our priorities are supposed to be.

      • Lindsay Hartman

        Lilit… this is one of the many reasons that I adore you!

    • Lindsay Hartman

      I always let the guy pay for the first date, if he offers. And then I pay for the second date. The guy gets to feel like a gentleman and I get to establish that I can take care of myself. Its a win/win, I think.

      • John

        So you start off every relationship based on false assumptions and lies. Awesome.

      • Lindsay Hartman

        Actually, this is how my relationship with my husband started. And its working out wonderfully. Let me guess, John… you’re single… You probably really hate Valentine’s Day and bitch about how it’s a made up holiday to steal your money. You very rarely make it past that first date. And every woman you’ve ever dated is a huge bitch who treated you like crap. Obviously, your pessimism is working for you.

    • Shae

      Good God people, it’s very simple. Whoever does the asking does the paying, whether it’s the man or woman. Asking someone out is *offering* them something, not asking them to buy you things — otherwise why would anyone accept?

      Of course when people have been dating a while, things get split evenly more often, but that’s because implicit agreements have been made to start sharing life together and its expenses.

    • anon mouse

      Well, the article got one thing right — that whoever does the asking (historically the man, but of course that’s no longer the rule) pays for the first date. Any other system is trying to have your cake and eat it too.

      For mutually-agreed on dates, the logical extension is to split the bill ; why should the guy be the only one taking the financial risk?

      (Also, it’s really the only way to go if you’re not straight. What, are gay men supposed to have two dinners so they both get a chance to pay?)

    • Danielle

      For a first date I’d assume the bill would be split evenly, but if the guy insisted on paying I’d let him. Also, I do agree that who ever asks should do the paying. I wouldn’t feel right asking someone to a movie or dinner if I wasn’t prepared to pay for it.

    • John

      This guy got it right:

      Double standard hypocrisy once again. You women need to unify and pick sides; either support femininsim and female equality, or support the conventional way of life (in the Western world) and all it’s pros and cons. You can’t expect equality to rid you of all the cons of life – or most of them when it comes to gender – then wish to keep all the pros.

    • Chris

      At first I thought that the man should always pay for the date but if you don’t like the man and have no intention of dating him again –split the bill!

    • Brian

      Whoever does the asking implies that they are paying. However, if the person asked offers to split the bill or pay in full, then it may deviate. Just don’t go asking to split the bill and get mad when he agrees to it…

    • JBlitzzz

      I hate split checks, that’s bull. I think it’s whoever initiates the date should pay. If it’s mutual, OK, maybe split it. But more likely, it’s nice to know someone has balls in the situation.

    • Lindsey Wilson

      Okay so, I’m 17 and I’m going on my first real date in a couple of days and I’m really nervous about this. It was almost a mutual thing because he’s kinda shy, but I guess he did technically ask me to the movies. My parents said that he should be the one to pay and if he doesn’t I should be pissed. I don’t know how I feel about it. I guess I’ll know when he asks for either one or two tickets…