Term Of the Day: Sex Chaperone

Thanks to Behind the Music, I know that many fantastically rich rock stars hire people to follow them around and make sure they don’t do drugs. Now, there’s something known as a “sex chaperone,” a person whose job it is to hang around recovering sex addicts and make sure they don’t bang anybody. I wonder what the qualifications are for that job? I can think of a lot of Southern moms who already have a lot of practice thwarting people from having sex. Also, the title is kind of a misnomer. I thought a sex chaperone was somebody who supervised you during sex and made sure you didn’t hurt yourself or break anything. Maybe “anti-sex chaperone” is more in line with the actual job description?

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    • kinaz

      Also known as being a good wing-man. I routinely go out with my male friends and when they get entirely too drunk they will lean over and say, “this girl wants to go home with me. Is she gross?” Why yes, yes she is. “Like, really gross?” Um, I’m afraid so. “Damn, ok.” And then I proceed to take them home and pour them into the proper apartments, and before you say it, I’m not cock-blocking them, I’m keeping them from a bedbug/herpes/transvestite situation. I