Let’s face it: dating’s rough. You don’t know who people are until the moment they show their true colors. Whether that moment is them sending you smiley and wink faces via text message or when they yell (like really yell) at the guy who stole your cab, it’s difficult to pin-point who a person really is before you fall too deep into a relationship. AskMen.com wrote a guide of the five types of women men should avoid dating so men can fit each girl they meet into one of these general stereotypes and if the girl doesn’t fit, then she’s totally dateable. Just because I get nervous and hide behind my humor and that sometimes makes me look like a smart ass doesn’t mean you should avoid dating me. It just means I’m hilarious but not quite comfortable enough with you yet. So really, I shouldn’t date you. I probably also shouldn’t date the guy whose pick-up line is, “You’re hotter than two mice making love in a wool sock.” I did the math and there are probably more than seven men women should avoid dating. But for simplicity’s sake, these are the general categories of male personalities that are just un-dateable:
1. The Un-Motivated
This guy can be really, really cool. At first. And then you realize he has no life plan. And he’s 28. He may have all these dreams and aspirations but no way of actually achieving them. And more importantly, he doesn’t exactly have the intention of achieving them either. This is the guy who settles for the easy life. The life where he gets a job that can pay the bills but doesn’t exactly make him happy. He has more free time than necessary, which can lead to much unwanted clinginess (Stage 5 Clingers don’t only apply to girls). And since you’re the one who has her life figured out and you’re ready to start thinking about settling down, he will only hold you back.
2. Mommy’s Dearest
A mama’s boy can be a really great guy. Take Albie Manzo (Caroline Manzo’s oldest and cuter son from The Real Housewives of New Jersey), for instance. Albie is adorable, successful and genuine. Except … he’s a little too attached to his mom. Dating a guy who’s really close to his mom can mean that you end up dating his mom. You’ll start to hang out with her a little more often than normal, she’ll know more of your faults than you’d like her to know and eventually, talking to her about her son will get uncomfortable. She’ll talk to you like she owns him. I’m serious. Just because she bore him and raised him gives her all the credit in the world to be his number one. Over you. And even if he claims differently, it will always be mommy first.
3. All His Friends Are Single
A guy whose friends are all single can be risky. This means that his buddies will always get mad at him for hanging out with just you. They will resent you for taking him away from them, even if it’s once or twice a week. It also could mean that your guy wants to stay single, too. Since none of his friends are encouraging him to commit, he is less likely to do so. Friends can be a huge influence on a guy, so always be aware of what his friends are like. Who he’s friends with can be very telling of what kind of guy he is, too.
4. The Psycho
Ah, my favorite kind. (Just kidding.) This psycho is very similar to AskMen.com’s female “psycho” type. This is a guy who calls you or texts you what feels like a bajillion times a day. This is a guy who asks you where you were if you didn’t pick up the phone or call him back right away. This is a guy who thinks you’re dating and you’re not. Psycho’s are a must to avoid. They can drive you crazy and make you say or do things you may regret. And beware of the sex. It’s likely to be amazing. But careful, because it’s a trap. He’s psycho before and after sex, remember? Oh yea, the psycho usually uses emoticons in texts. That should be your first sign.
5. The Smart Ass
Yea, I’m throwing this one right back at the guys, too. Male smart asses tend to be mean. Not just mean to you, but mean to other people. He can be slightly racist and very judgmental. He may be able to make you laugh, but humor should be used with taste and class. No one wants to date a Dane Cook or a Tucker Max or a guy that undermines you with humor. Undermining you with anything, really, should be out of the question.
6. The Gamer
Ughhh gamers. And the worst part is, I’m convinced 90 percent of the male population are gamers. There really is no need for an explanation of what kind of guy this is. But here’s why you should avoid him: he talks in LOL-speak; he will play video games while you’re sleeping which will then in turn wake you up; he will play video games while talking to you on the phone and will therefore not listen to a word you’re saying; he has weirdo friends in other countries whom he has never met and talks about how you two should go visit them rather than actually visit the country; he will turn down hanging out with you because he’s “hanging out with his buddies” when really, he’s hanging out by himself playing video games and his buddies are virtual; he has no life.
7. There’s Always Something More Important Than You
This guy is attached to his phone. And by attached, I mean he keeps it in his lap or on the table at dinner waiting for someone more important than you to call, text or e-mail him. He will immediately check his phone anytime it alerts him and he sleeps with it. Not next to him on his night table. With it, like under his pillow in his hand. This is a guy who may seem into you, but in reality, he’s distracted. He is always more interested in anything that’s going elsewhere. I don’t know about you, but I’d rather date a guy who likes me better than his phone.
Have you ever dated one of these guys (or a mix of any of the categories)?