• Fri, Nov 5 2010

Trend Report: Pants Made of Dead People!

IT PUTS THE LOTION ON ITS SKIN OR ELSE IT GETS THE HOSE AGAIN.

Animal products are always a controversy in fashion: some vegetarians wear leather jackets, some people are morally opposed to fur coats, some shoe makers just can’t get enough of snake, lizard and even stingray skin. But, does being fashionable collide with ethics when the pants you’re wearing are made of people who’ve already died?*

Apparently, “necropants” as they are called were very mode amongst old timey Icelandic witches and sorcerers. They even left instructions for how to make your own pair. A caveat, though: if the idea of digging up and flaying a corpse, then stepping inside its legs isn’t super off-putting, be prepared to do a lot of interacting with its scrotum:

After he has been buried you must dig up his body and flay the skin of the corpse in one piece from the waist down. As soon as you step into the pants they will stick to your own skin. A coin must be stolen from a poor widow and placed in the scrotum along with the magical sign, nábrókarstafur, written on a piece of paper. Consequently the coin will draw money into the scrotum so it will never be empty, as long as the original coin is not removed. To ensure salvation the owner has to convince someone else to overtake the pants and step into each leg as soon as he gets out of it. The necropants will thus keep the money-gathering nature for generations.

Wait. So, basically Necropants are trousers that fit so well they actually stick to your skin (take that, Dolce & Gabbana!) AND come with a bottomless scrotum piggy bank? Even better, as long as you can find a buyer when you’re done with them, you won’t even go to hell or anything.

*Yes. Yes it is.

[Source]

Share This Post:
  • Eileen

    Maybe it’s just me, but I’m kind of fixated on the fact that the coin being placed in the scrotum is supposed to be “stolen from a poor widow.” That’s not very nice, man. If it has to be stolen, couldn’t it at least be from a wealthy widow?

    • Ashley Cardiff

      Poor widows have suffered enough.