Over at Jezebel, Dodai’s favorite tampon has been discontinued. We’d feel her pain if the fact that we live on vodka and pumpple didn’t long ago render us incapable of bearing children. So we’ll let Dodai describe it for you:
People, I swear, it has been years. Years! How do I just change the way I handle my business every month? I mean, I bought Super Plus, but Ultra just made me feel… safe. I MEAN FOR THE LOVE OF DOG WHAT CAN YOU RELY ON THESE DAYS?!?! Anyway. It’s just annoying that a product with which I was so… intimate… up and ditched me.
That sucks. And, while we never thought this would be an writer we’d group in with a Jezebel writer, Candace Bushnell knows just what that’s like. In Trading Up she writes:
At the very least, coming to Paris would allow her to stock up on her favorite lipstick color, she thought wryly. But in a moment, the shopgirl returned from the back room, shaking her head. “I’m sorry madame, but there is no more Pussy Pink.”
“No more Pussy Pink?”
“It is finis,” the shopgril said with a shrug, as if she’d already lost interest in the conversation.
“What do you mean finis?” Janey said.
“The color… it is, how you say, discontinue?”
Janey left the shop in shock. Pussy Pink had only been her signature color for nearly fifteen years, ever since she’d first come to Paris… her roommate, Estella, had told her that she should always wear the same lip color to help the photographers remember her. And it had helped, although maybe not the way she’d intended.”
And then Janey becomes a harem girl and there’s a scandal! I wonder if that will happen to Dodai, too. Bad things happen when people’s favorite products are discontinued.
Here, Ashley and I both bemoan the loss of Diet Berries and Cream Dr. Pepper. That drink was like crack for girls who drink diet soda. Non-addictive crack that nobody but us liked, apparently.
And, as a kid, I loved Chili’s High-And-Mighty Ice Cream Pie so much that I’m pretty sure that eating it now would trigger some sort of diabetic Proustian flashback, if they hadn’t discontinued it. Oh, High-And-Mighty Ice Cream Pie, I will search forever for an adequate replacement and find none.
What products have you lost? And have you ever been able to track them down?