Will Anyone Take John Westwood Up On His Offer?

Look, John Westwood doesn’t want to be friends.

All he wants to do is “satisfy your carnal lust by giving you powerful orgasms.”And he’s trying to find women by leaving handwritten notes in women’s magazines. Because, actually Cosmopolitan readers do seem like people who’d appreciate that, maybe. Maybe? Nah.


You know, if this were a woman leaving notes in men magazines, I think she’d get some enthusiastic responses. So far, John Westwood has gotten zero. Nobody wants him.

I mean, we’re not going to take him up on his offer, because we’ve watched American Psycho over 700 times, but were not going to judge you if you are. We just want you to know that. If you do, write us and let us know how it goes.

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    • lotusflwr

      The first paranoid thought that sprang to mind was “Oh god, he probably wants to bite someone’s clit off!” That pretty much would take the wind out of anyone’s sails.

      Also I think that for women, oral sex isn’t anywhere near as big a deal as it is for men. Men seem willing to go to great lengths (or low, low depths) to get oral. Do women get that hard up for it?? I think it is great when done properly, but nowhere near worth dealing with a stranger who leaves notes in magazines.

      • Eileen

        Yeah, I agree. Especially since honestly, mentality is a lot of it, and if I’m not in the right mood to get it (or to get it from you), it’s not going to do anything for me. And maybe men just fake it better than women, but while I’ve (and my girl-friends) have found that the oral techniques that work on one man are usually fairly transferable, you can always tell when a man’s doing what worked on his ex-girlfriend, and it quite often doesn’t work on you.