• Fri, Nov 12 2010

Help Me Solve This Puzzle

This is Irina Shayk. She is posing at a Glamour magazine event in Madrid, where they feted the “Top Woman of the Year,” an honor Shayk apparently won.

These are the things I know about Irina Shayk:

1) She is a model
2) She looks good in swimsuits
3) She dates Cristiano Ronaldo
4) I did not really know who she was before she began dating Cristiano Ronaldo

I am confused. I see these things that I know about Irina Shayk in front of me and none of them, not separately nor combined, explains why she is the Top Woman of the Anything.

So. Did she win for being… glamorous? In my confusion, I have assembled a list of “Things I Can Reasonably Imagine Irina Shayk Winning,” based on what I know about her:

Top Lingerie Wearer That is Neither Brazilian Nor a Victoria’s Secret Angel
Top Models in Kanye West Videos That Aren’t Selita Ebanks
Top of List of Potential Girlfriends That the Guy From Maroon 5 is Mulling Over
Top Model and Also Athlete’s Girlfriend That Isn’t Gisele or Adriana Lima
Top People I Am Currently Looking at That Make Me Feel Inadequate
Top Bathing Suit Wearer From Russia
Top People With Lisa Rinna’s Lips That Aren’t Lisa Rinna
Top People Who Became Famous For Dating Christiano Ronaldo

But maybe I’m just terrible at Spanish and Shayk is actually being awarded something for very good reasons! Any clues? Is she huge in Madrid? A style icon in her native Russia? Did she save a bunch of children from a burning orphanage without streaking her mascara? Is she a demi-god who appears as her beautiful human avatar because if we were to behold her true form we would actually go blind? Please leave any insight in the comments.

Glamour’s coverage here.

Share This Post: