• Mon, Nov 15 2010

Breaking Up Via Text Message Is the Future

Everyone is talking about how texting can lead to bad behavior (binge drinking, sex, drugs, rock ‘n roll). But of all the terrible things texting can make you do (sleep less, fight more, become thumb-less), using text messages to end a relationship is probably the lesser of all the evils.

Breaking up is hard to do. I think that’s some sort of song lyric, so it must be the truth. Which is why breaking up via text makes it a whole lot easier. No! That’s rude and obnoxious and inconsiderate and jerky and terrible! You’re a terrible person! You’re a robot with no feelings, you say. But actually, it’s not inconsiderate and I’m not a robot. It’s freaking 2010 (almost 2011), people. We’re in the digital age. We’re all going to be robots soon. Heck, we’re basically living the life of the Jetsons (minus the flying cars, but they’ll get here, by 2020 … you can quote me on that). People date on the Internet, why can’t they ask each other out or break up via text message? They can, and they should.

Just for the record, it is still extremely inappropriate to break up with your long-term girlfriend or boyfriend through a text. I mean, if you’ve been dating long enough to not feel even remotely bad for asking your significant other to drive you almost every morning to work or class because it’s cold and you’re lazy, meet each other’s families, and perhaps even fall in love or close to it, the least you could to is talk it over face to face.

But for everyone else, the text break up isn’t as bad as you all think. According Urban Dictionary, a text message break up is “the lamest most retarded thing anyone can ever do with a cell phone.” Well, but that’s not true at all. People can throw their cell phones at other people’s heads or use their cell phone as their best friend because they don’t have any real friends or drop their cell phones in their beer. Now that’s the lamest thing anyone can ever do with a cell phone. In some cases, the text message break up actually very acceptable and perhaps, preferrable. A friend of mine was recently dating this guy and before one of their dates, she texted him confirming their plans for that evening. “Are we still on for tonight?” No response. Ever. She was basically stood up via text. The least the guy could’ve done was taken the courtesy to reply with something along the lines of, “Had fun, but don’t think it’s going to work out … sorry.” Or he doesn’t have to say sorry. Or that he even had fun. Whatever. As long as the closure was there, she wouldn’t have even tried getting dressed and going to the restaurant they were planning on going to just because she thought maybe he dropped his phone in the toilet or something and the date was still on. It wasn’t and she never heard from him again. That bastard.

A more famous case of the classic break up text is with the womanizer, Adam Levine, and the now-engaged-to-some-football-player-I’ve-never-heard-of Jessica Simpson. At the time of their not surprisingly short relationship, it’s clear that neither one of them was taking it too seriously. Adam wanted out so he texted Jessica, “Really busy. Need space.” Short and to the point. No need to talk about it. He told you he was busy. But he also didn’t leave you hanging. This is quite possibly the only admirable thing Adam Levine has done in his personal life. Or his professional life, for that matter.

I recently (or not so recently, I can’t really tell anymore) got out of a serious relationship. We broke up over the phone. Granted, the relationship had evolved into a long distance relationship so with the timing and everything it kind of had to be over the phone. But still. Breaking up through technology isn’t so bad. You don’t have to look into the person’s eyes that are clouded by tears. You are less likely to change your mind and then regret changing your mind. Really, it makes the breaking up part of breaking up a whole lot easier.

I really don’t understand why a text break up is so horrible. You are more likely to be asked out via text message than by a phone call or in person, so why can’t you break up with someone over a text message? If you could explain it to me, please feel free to do so. But be nice about it. Because I didn’t insult you for being too sensitive and always wanting to talk things out and in person and making everything harder than it has to be.

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  • Beth

    I agree, who cares? A guy I dated briefly and pretty casually broke up with me through text a while back. We both knew it wasn’t working, and I was actually relieved because it meant I didn’t have to break up with him. It was the most easy, sane break up I have ever experienced. I was at work when I got the message and I didn’t even really care, just kept working.

  • Lexie

    I’ve done it! I was casually dating someone during college. We never spoke on the phone, only through text, so when he canceled our plans twice in one night – via text – I ended it the same way. He was livid. He sent me an angry text telling me so.

  • Marilyn

    I see it as, if the relationship didn’t start in a text, it shouldn’t end in one either. I’m a bit more traditional in the relationship aspect. I do believe that starting/ending a relationship through text is very informal. I didn’t meet the person through a text, otherwise I wouldn’t want to initiate a relationship or even a conversation. Why should I allow other aspects of necessary human interaction be devoid of face-to-face relations?

  • jblakely

    2 QUARTS Podcast explained it Best
    http://www.beholdermagazine.com