Hey, guess what? All the characters you loved as a kid? They were ugly and in desperate need of radical transformations. We know, because yesterday we got a press release remarking on Bert’s hideous uni-brow, and how he probably should have gotten it waxed. Fact! I hate it when characters teach kids to be okay with their physical imperfections, which is why all the children’s programs I watch are written by Ayn Rand. In the meantime, here’s how we can clean up some other busted figures from childhood.
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