• Wed, Nov 17 2010

The Heart Monitor: ‘Do Penises Float?’ And Other Questions For Men

via Tuition.com

Before I continue on with my relationship column, I have to admit that I have some questions about the opposite sex.

Let me level with you. I’m a smart enough girl. I’ve been around the proverbial block. I’m in my late twenties, and I’ve had sex with, I don’t know, fewer men than years I’ve been alive. More than the years I’ve lived in New York. Anyway, I think I have a decent grasp on men. But I’m no expert. There are certain male traits I just don’t understand. Most of them concern sports and dicks. Some of these questions I ask my boyfriend, and some may well have no answers at all.

For example:

Do all penises float in water? What about balls? Do balls sink?

Do men stare at themselves in the bathroom mirror for an hour inspecting their eyebrows and popping blackheads on their nose? Do they know that women do this shit all the time?

Why do guys like Kim Kardashian? Is it the hair? Is it the butt? I know a million girls with nice extensions and a big ass and no one jerks off to them. Just sayin’.

Is a guy’s G-Spot really in his asshole? Don’t make that face. Is it? That, uh, makes me uncomfortable. I was just never an up-the-butt girl. For me or for him. So sue me.

What’s with football? Do some men watch sports the way some women watch romantic comedies?  These testosterone-heavy males supposedly like to ogle the cheerleaders, but they’re usually taking a bathroom break during halftime. On the other hand, they definitely keep their eyes glued on the male-on-male action. Why do they freak out when their team loses? It’s not their team. They’re not on the team. Someone please explain this to me. Trust me, we’re all dying to know.

Do men actually like it when women give them hand jobs? And speaking of hand jobs, don’t men’s wrists ever give out? Jerking off looks like way more work than us ladies go through—and a lot messier. Who do they think they’re kidding with the lotion in their bathrooms? We know they’re not moisturizing. We know all about those crunchy tissues in the garbage.

If a remote control is an extension of a man’s dick, then you would think he’d be all for the woman holding onto it at night, right? Yeah, you would think.

Do men ever wish they could wear makeup? If not eyeliner, than at least cover-up for a bad pimple? Are they jealous of our mascara and our smokey eyes? We know they steal our tweezers. Do they ever steal our eyelash curlers? Do they secretly use all our good bubble bath?

Are clean-shaven lady parts really that sexy, or have men been conned into liking shaved vulvas the way women have been conned into paying for and suffering through them? Don’t they feel bad for us? They should. Do all guys shave their junk? Do they shave their butts? Do they shave anything we don’t know about?

Do men really know how much women like clitoral orgasms? I mean, I know they say they do, but ten years of experience says otherwise. Certain men should just give up and admit they have no idea what they’re doing in bed. Who knows, we might even (finally) get off on that whole student-teacher vibe.

Are ball sacks that itchy? I mean, why else are their hands always shoved down their pants? Aren’t nuts supposed to be cold? Shouldn’t men stop groping them, then? They look pretty uncomfortable. Aren’t they always in the way? Don’t they constantly bump and jostle? Or is that why they’re always groping them? Explain.

Do men really care if the woman they marry makes more money than them? Wouldn’t that take the pressure off? Wouldn’t they look forward to a household that didn’t depend on their own bread-winning paycheck? Wouldn’t that be sexy?

Lesbians.

Men really don’t care what women wear, right? I usually get the impression that they couldn’t care less about our clothes so long as our asses look good in them. Because I’m pretty sure fashion is just a corrupted portmanteau of the words ‘feminine’ and ‘masochism.’

Why do men need to pretend they enjoy playing poker? Most guys suck at poker. Why can’t they just admit they want to get together with their friends and talk about their girlfriends without blowing their spending money to do so?

What’s a urinal cake? Sounds like one of those disgusting 100-calorie snacks.

And finally, why do men pretend all women can’t park cars, install air conditioners, do math, or read maps? The more men say this bullshit, the more some women actually start to believe it. Why can’t men clean up after themselves, remember important dates or, I don’t know, take their hands out of their own pants for long enough to figure out how to get a woman off? Just a suggestion.

Ladies, please send your men to the comments below. I’m ready for some tough answers to my ridiculous questions. And while they’re there, I suggest you steal the remote.

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  • epilonious

    First off, Where is your legion of loyal gays to go over this stuff with you?

    Onto the answers. (and a small disclaimer. I am a near-30 suburban gay… And a lot of my applications are along the lines of “if I dug/dated women” while at the same time not thinking of them as purely sex objects. Meanwhile, I dish out my answers with sassy humor and hope you can afford me the same while reading or perhaps replying to it)

    “Do all penises float in water? What about balls? Do balls sink?”
    Penis Neutral buoyancy. Balls slightly negative (so hang like kelp and sink, respectively)

    “Do men stare at themselves in the bathroom mirror for an hour inspecting their eyebrows and popping blackheads on their nose? Do they know that women do this shit all the time?”

    Yes, but only for about 3 minutes instead of an hour. Yes, and some have thought of helping you just to get you to hurry up in there.

    “Why do guys like Kim Kardashian? Is it the hair? Is it the butt? I know a million girls with nice extensions and a big ass and no one jerks off to them. Just sayin’.”

    The million girls aren’t slutty/carefree enough to be videotaped having sex. Kim pegs the whore on the madonna-whore conundrum and thus makes fine spank material. The rich-as-hell family helps.

    “Is a guy’s G-Spot really in his asshole? Don’t make that face. Is it? That, uh, makes me uncomfortable. I was just never an up-the-butt girl. For me or for him. So sue me.”

    The prostate is in there, which is a sex organ. It can also be found (to a lesser extent) under the taint if any boys you’ve sexed seem to respond well to a bit of press and tickle below their balls. And like women, the butt-sensitivity spectrum spans the male range: several men just don’t have sensitive butts (or lose an erection immediately upon suggestions), while some want their girlfriends to wear strap-ons and peg them.

    “What’s with football? Do some men watch sports the way some women watch romantic comedies? These testosterone-heavy males supposedly like to ogle the cheerleaders, but they’re usually taking a bathroom break during halftime. On the other hand, they definitely keep their eyes glued on the male-on-male action. Why do they freak out when their team loses? It’s not their team. They’re not on the team. Someone please explain this to me. Trust me, we’re all dying to know.”

    It’s a bloodless turf war with complex interactions and lots of snap decisions. If you want a deep psychological explanation of why football is fascinating to most guys, you have to explain the deep psychological fascination several women have with celebrity relationships (“It’s not your relationship, you’re not dating the celebrity”).

    “Do men actually like it when women give them hand jobs? And speaking of hand jobs, don’t men’s wrists ever give out? Jerking off looks like way more work than us ladies go through—and a lot messier. Who do they think they’re kidding with the lotion in their bathrooms? We know they’re not moisturizing. We know all about those crunchy tissues in the garbage.”

    Men know all the right spots/grips/rhythms/twists to use on themselves, so they can finish before fatigue sets in. They do like it when someone else gives it a go because then it’s more of an adventure… but like most things. Someone blanching and having the “oh fine, just to shut you up” attitude who balks at suggestions won’t be seen as doing guys and any favors.

    “If a remote control is an extension of a man’s dick, then you would think he’d be all for the woman holding onto it at night, right? Yeah, you would think.”

    As with the previous point, is the woman holding on to it with flowing conversation about what they both want? Or is she just holding on to it because she wants to control everything?

    “Do men ever wish they could wear makeup? If not eyeliner, than at least cover-up for a bad pimple? Are they jealous of our mascara and our smokey eyes? We know they steal our tweezers. Do they ever steal our eyelash curlers? Do they secretly use all our good bubble bath?”

    Some men do… but Men have the benefit of knowing many perceive Clint Eastwood and Robert Redford and other leatherfaces as sex symbols. No on the eyelash curlers.. yes on the bubble bath (the lotion runs out sometimes, you see…)

    “Are clean-shaven lady parts really that sexy, or have men been conned into liking shaved vulvas the way women have been conned into paying for and suffering through them? Don’t they feel bad for us? They should. Do all guys shave their junk? Do they shave their butts? Do they shave anything we don’t know about?”

    Many colors of the rainbow. Some men prefer natural fullness. Some men want everything removed microseconds before a sexual act. Some men never groom, some men have the waxing appointment right next to yours and will be paying extra for anal bleaching.

    “Do men really know how much women like clitoral orgasms? I mean, I know they say they do, but ten years of experience says otherwise. Certain men should just give up and admit they have no idea what they’re doing in bed. Who knows, we might even (finally) get off on that whole student-teacher vibe.”

    Speak up or suffer in silence. If you’re worried about hurting feelings, make sure to frame such discussions on terms of “making it even better” as opposed to it “making it suck less”.

    “Are ball sacks that itchy? I mean, why else are their hands always shoved down their pants? Aren’t nuts supposed to be cold? Shouldn’t men stop groping them, then? They look pretty uncomfortable. Aren’t they always in the way? Don’t they constantly bump and jostle? Or is that why they’re always groping them? Explain.”

    Yes. they shift, get stuck on things, overheat, and itch. Hence, constant adjustment. Imagine if you had ponderously large breasts and it was vogue to wear oversized sports bras or undershirts.

    “Do men really care if the woman they marry makes more money than them? Wouldn’t that take the pressure off? Wouldn’t they look forward to a household that didn’t depend on their own bread-winning paycheck? Wouldn’t that be sexy?”

    If the relationship is strong, it won’t be that much of an issue. If the relationship is weak and besot with jealousy and power/control struggles and external influences like bitchy parents… it’s probably the tipping point.

    “Lesbians.”

    Two+ is better than none.

    “Men really don’t care what women wear, right? I usually get the impression that they couldn’t care less about our clothes so long as our asses look good in them. Because I’m pretty sure fashion is just a corrupted portmanteau of the words ‘feminine’ and ‘masochism.’”

    They’ll notice fresh, fancy fashion but not be able to articulate how it works or why it works. But clothes are usually a reflection of the mood. So the adorable new frock that makes a girl smile will usually be received better than the “I could care less” soft-pants and oversized t-shirt for the third day in a row.

    “Why do men need to pretend they enjoy playing poker? Most guys suck at poker. Why can’t they just admit they want to get together with their friends and talk about their girlfriends without blowing their spending money to do so?”

    Why do girls need to go on shopping jaunts together? Money ain’t nothing but a thang.

    “What’s a urinal cake? Sounds like one of those disgusting 100-calorie snacks.”

    The teeny bit of rinse water doesn’t always completely flush away the guy who just loves asparagus. So someone took a puck made of renuzit-style hard wax deodorizer and plopped it in the bottom of the things so they would always smell “fresh” and janitors wouldn’t be bugged about cleaning them as often.

    “And finally, why do men pretend all women can’t park cars, install air conditioners, do math, or read maps? The more men say this bullshit, the more some women actually start to believe it. Why can’t men clean up after themselves, remember important dates or, I don’t know, take their hands out of their own pants for long enough to figure out how to get a woman off? Just a suggestion.”

    Usually because people are too wrapped up in themselves to accept even the most modest criticism, and are too worried about the backlash from issuing it.

    “Ladies, please send your men to the comments below. I’m ready for some tough answers to my ridiculous questions. And while they’re there, I suggest you steal the remote.”

    • Lindsay Cross

      That was wonderful and insightful and very awesome. Thank you!

    • nolalola27

      That was amazing. You’re why I miss my gay. He moved to Hawaii to be with his husband, so while I’m happy for him, you just reminded me of how much I wish they’d come back and move into the cute house across the street from me.

  • Susan

    very well put. wish i knew you. i have many more questions.

  • Brian

    Man here. Straight. 25.

    > Do all penises float in water? What about balls? Do balls sink?

    I’ve never thought about this, nor run the experiment. Clearly I don’t care about what my junk is doing wrt water.

    > Do men stare at themselves in the bathroom mirror for an hour inspecting their
    > eyebrows and popping blackheads on their nose? Do they know that women do
    > this shit all the time?

    Yes we know. No we don’t do it. 15-seconds with the mirror, mostly making sure that hair is in order, before leaving the house. Maybe 2-3 minutes before a date or other situation where attention to appearance is especially important.

    One time a girlfriend sent me an absurdly long email in the middle of the night in which she cataloged every one of her physical flaws in detail. Protip: don’t do this. It freaks us out. Also, I’d only noticed about 25% of them on my own.

    > Why do guys like Kim Kardashian? Is it the hair? Is it the butt? I know a million girls
    > with nice extensions and a big ass and no one jerks off to them. Just sayin’.

    I don’t like her. She’s fucking retarded.

    > Is a guy’s G-Spot really in his asshole? Don’t make that face. Is it? That, uh, makes
    > me uncomfortable. I was just never an up-the-butt girl. For me or for him. So sue
    > me.

    I’m not interested in having anything shoved up there. I’d be willing to try it if my partner was /really/ into it, but that’s about it.

    > What’s with football? Do some men watch sports the way some women watch
    > romantic comedies? These testosterone-heavy males supposedly like to ogle the
    > cheerleaders, but they’re usually taking a bathroom break during halftime. On the
    > other hand, they definitely keep their eyes glued on the male-on-male action. Why
    > do they freak out when their team loses? It’s not their team. They’re not on the
    > team. Someone please explain this to me. Trust me, we’re all dying to know.

    I’m not really qualified to comment. I don’t understand sports or romantic comedies.

    > Do men actually like it when women give them hand jobs? And speaking of hand
    > jobs, don’t men’s wrists ever give out? Jerking off looks like way more work than us
    > ladies go through—and a lot messier. Who do they think they’re kidding with the
    > lotion in their bathrooms? We know they’re not moisturizing. We know all about t
    > those crunchy tissues in the garbage.

    On one hand, a handjob is better than nothing, and it’s perfectly fine foreplay, especially in situations where discretion is required. On the other hand, it’s not a reliable way to get off, and we really are way better at it than you are.

    It’s really not that much work, or that much mess. We do it every day. We’ver solved the se problems. No our wrists aren’t even fazed..but then again, it’s something we do every day, so our wrists are used to it.

    > If a remote control is an extension of a man’s dick, then you would think he’d be all > for the woman holding onto it at night, right? Yeah, you would think.

    I can’t do anything with this one.

    > Do men ever wish they could wear makeup? If not eyeliner, than at least cover-up
    > for a bad pimple? Are they jealous of our mascara and our smokey eyes? We
    > know they steal our tweezers. Do they ever steal our eyelash curlers? Do they
    > secretly use all our good bubble bath?

    Jealous of coverup, yes. Keeping your face in good order without an escape-hatch is hard.

    Not jealous of other makeup. No interest in your eyelash curlers or bubble bath.

    > Are clean-shaven lady parts really that sexy, or have men been conned into liking
    > shaved vulvas the way women have been conned into paying for and suffering
    > through them? Don’t they feel bad for us? They should. Do all guys shave their
    > junk? Do they shave their butts? Do they shave anything we don’t know about?

    The first time a girlfriend shaved her lady-parts, it was novel and sexy and flattering. The novelty wore off in about fifteen minutes. Yes, it makes oral better..maybe 5% better. Not worth it. Keeping things trim is a different story. If your bush is going up my nose, it’s no good.

    As for me, I do shave my junk, and I trim the pubes back as well. It’s not nearly as big a thing..2-3 minutes in the shower. Y’all don’t deserve a face-full of pubes either. Also trimming back the pubes makes our dicks look bigger.

    > Do men really know how much women like clitoral orgasms? I mean, I know they
    > say they do, but ten years of experience says otherwise. Certain men should just
    > give up and admit they have no idea what they’re doing in bed. Who knows, we
    > might even (finally) get off on that whole student-teacher vibe.

    Yes, we do.

    > Are ball sacks that itchy? I mean, why else are their hands always shoved down
    > their pants? Aren’t nuts supposed to be cold? Shouldn’t men stop groping them,
    > then? They look pretty uncomfortable. Aren’t they always in the way? Don’t they
    > constantly bump and jostle? Or is that why they’re always groping them? Explain.

    Sweaty balls itch sometimes. Either you’re overplaying this one, or you just need to learn to deal.

    > Do men really care if the woman they marry makes more money than them?
    > Wouldn’t that take the pressure off? Wouldn’t they look forward to a household that
    > didn’t depend on their own bread-winning paycheck? Wouldn’t that be sexy?

    Yes. Many men do. Myself included.

    > Lesbians.

    in real life–boring.

    in internet life–it’s a girl you’d like to do shit to doing shit to another girl you’d like to do shit to. And you don’t have to look at some skeezy porno-dude’s super-sized porno-dick while it’s all going on. What’s not to like? It’s just a constraint-based solution to everything that’s wrong with conventional porn. That’s all.

    > Men really don’t care what women wear, right? I usually get the impression that t
    > they couldn’t care less about our clothes so long as our asses look good in them.
    > Because I’m pretty sure fashion is just a corrupted portmanteau of the words
    > ‘feminine’ and ‘masochism.’

    A stylish person cares enough about themselves to invest time in their appearance and confidence is a huge turn-on. Style can totally make up for 3-4 notches on the 1-10 scale.

    > Why do men need to pretend they enjoy playing poker? Most guys suck at poker.
    > Why can’t they just admit they want to get together with their friends and talk about
    > their girlfriends without blowing their spending money to do so?

    Don’t play poker. No comment.

    > What’s a urinal cake? Sounds like one of those disgusting 100-calorie snacks.

    Ask google.

    > And finally, why do men pretend all women can’t park cars, install air conditioners,
    > do math, or read maps? The more men say this bullshit, the more some women
    > actually start to believe it.

    It has nothing to do with gender. I don’t believe that anyone but me can park cars, install air conditioners, or read maps.

    > Why can’t men clean up after themselves,

    We lack your feminine attention to detail. Our brains aren’t built to notice the mess.

    > remember important dates or,

    Date less flaky men. If we’re going by weight of anecdote, I’ve only dated one woman who I ever considered to be less flaky about that stuff than I am. I’d be asking the same question about women if this were reversed.

    > I don’t know, take their hands out of their own pants for long
    > enough to figure out how to get a woman off? Just a suggestion.

    In my experience, a similar proportion of y’all could stand review your blowjob technique. Just a suggestion.

  • nolalola27

    Luckily for me, I love football. As for the clitoris thing, you need to speak up. I told my guy what I like and now the only thing that ever keeps me from coming is a bad mood on my part.

  • Leah

    “And finally, why do men pretend all women can’t park cars, install air conditioners, do math, or read maps? The more men say this bullshit, the more some women actually start to believe it.”

    Many items in this list perpetuate those same kinds of stereotypes. Do all women spend hours examining their pores? Of course not. Do all men play poker and watch sports? Of course not. This there some general rule that applies to every man about Kim Kardashian or junk hair? You get the idea. These kinds of lists, assuming that these things are universal, make the rift between men and women feel like light years. It’s like racism, really. If we spent more time concerned with how we’re similar than pointing out all the ways we’re different, then maybe we’d understand each other better.

    As as for things that I would really like to know about men, they’d be more literal, like the first one about floating penises. For instance – what if a guy has to… #1 and #2… do they sit down? Do they stand, and then sit? These are the things that are truly baffling about differences. I don’t care if a guy likes poker or why.

    • Fuzzy

      As to your final question, about #1 + #2, I can’t speak for all men, but we can pretty easily do both at the same time. Ergo, why waste time standing up and then sitting down when we can knock both out while sitting down? The only exception to this might be if you were in a public restroom and there wasn’t a stall available (male restrooms are a bit different than female restrooms, if I remember my childhood correctly), but given that most guys spend like, 45 seconds in the bathroom, stall unavailability is incredibly rare.

  • Robert

    > Do all penises float in water? What about balls? Do balls sink?

    Never paid too close of attention, but would say that this depends quite a bit on the state of erectness, and the temperature. An erect penis is pretty set in where it wants to point, and in cold water, balls aren’t really going anywhere, up or down, the sack will contract around them too much for that.

    > Do men stare at themselves in the bathroom mirror for an hour inspecting their eyebrows and popping blackheads on their nose?

    Mostly, no.

    > Do they know that women do this shit all the time?

    Yep. We alternatively appreciate it, and are annoyed by it.

    > Why do guys like Kim Kardashian? Is it the hair? Is it the butt? I know a million girls with nice extensions and a big ass and no one jerks off to them. Just sayin’.

    I’m not sure that men are as into Kim Kardashian as women seem to think. Does nothing for me.

    > Is a guy’s G-Spot really in his asshole? Don’t make that face. Is it? That, uh, makes me uncomfortable. I was just never an up-the-butt girl. For me or for him. So sue me.

    Not “in his asshole”, but near enough that something in the asshole can apply some rather delightful pressure on it. Some pressure can also be applied from under the scrotum without going all the way to ass, which is also nice (quite a bit nicer feeling, though less sexy looking than playing with our balls to be honest).

    Regardless, if you’re uncomfortable with that, there’s no real need to mess with it. Guys have an easy enough time getting off as things stand, and most are probably repressed enough that they’d rather not you do anything back there.

    > What’s with football? Do some men watch sports the way some women watch romantic comedies? These testosterone-heavy males supposedly like to ogle the cheerleaders, but they’re usually taking a bathroom break during halftime. On the other hand, they definitely keep their eyes glued on the male-on-male action. Why do they freak out when their team loses? It’s not their team. They’re not on the team. Someone please explain this to me. Trust me, we’re all dying to know.

    Not quite sure how to respond to this. I’m not as into football as some, but it’s simply about the competition, talent, and athleticism going on. This doesn’t seem that hard to understand to me. Men know our teams, and the players on them pretty well, and want to see the people we know do well. Seeing people you like failing/losing isn’t fun.

    Also: Cheerleaders may individually be attractive, but watching some intricate routine set to music for a viewing audience does nothing for me, it isn’t sexy, it’s just supposed to show talent for synchronized dancing that I don’t care about.

    > Do men actually like it when women give them hand jobs?

    Yep, though it’s generally less preferable to other forms of stimulation, there is certainly a time and place where a handjob can be incredibly sexy.

    > And speaking of hand jobs, don’t men’s wrists ever give out? Jerking off looks like way more work than us ladies go through—and a lot messier.

    Not sure if you’ve ever watched, but there’s pretty much no wrist work ever involved when men do it for ourselves. I’ve heard of the arm-rotation muscle getting tired, but we work these muscles out frequently enough that it is remarkably rare.

    > Who do they think they’re kidding with the lotion in their bathrooms? We know they’re not moisturizing. We know all about those crunchy tissues in the garbage.

    I have neither practice in my bathroom, but we don’t think we’re kidding anyone, that is just convenience.

    > If a remote control is an extension of a man’s dick…

    What?!…

    > Do men ever wish they could wear makeup? If not eyeliner, than at least cover-up for a bad pimple? Are they jealous of our mascara and our smokey eyes? We know they steal our tweezers. Do they ever steal our eyelash curlers? Do they secretly use all our good bubble bath?

    For the most part, I don’t think most straight men care a great deal about most of these things. If our skin isn’t perfect, then it isn’t perfect, covering it up with cosmetics just never occurs, and at least to me, seems silly. No jealousy here for doing what I see as largely unnecessary work. You guys really are pretty without needing all of the hiding, changing, and faking. Seriously, believe us.

    (I know guys that appreciate bubblebath, and may steal it from their girlfriends, but no clue how typical that is, and is unrelated to the previous part of this response)

    > Are clean-shaven lady parts really that sexy, or have men been conned into liking shaved vulvas the way women have been conned into paying for and suffering through them? Don’t they feel bad for us? They should. Do all guys shave their junk? Do they shave their butts? Do they shave anything we don’t know about?

    Cleanly shaven, or at least neatly trimmed ladyparts are probably appreciated much more than most things women put themselves through, but you do choose it on your own, so we don’t really feel bad. Guys certainly trim down there, try to keep the leadup to the shaft clear, our butts non-furry, and everything generally clear, but most of it will vary from guy to guy. In warmer climates, ball hair serves a pretty essential wicking purpose, without which balls are left sticky and a bit gross, but some dudes are okay with that.

    > Do men really know how much women like clitoral orgasms?

    Yep

    > Are ball sacks that itchy? I mean, why else are their hands always shoved down their pants? Aren’t nuts supposed to be cold? Shouldn’t men stop groping them, then? They look pretty uncomfortable. Aren’t they always in the way? Don’t they constantly bump and jostle? Or is that why they’re always groping them? Explain.

    Think you’re over-estimating the prevalence of most of this. Balls aren’t generally itchy, they aren’t generally cold (they’re actually pretty tightly climate-controlled, but that doesn’t mean we like it when they cling to us for dear life in cold weather), groping doesn’t happen all that often, but repositioning is sometimes simply necessary to avoid an incredible amount of discomfort. They may technically constantly bump and jostle, but we don’t exactly have a vivid sensation of this, they’re just there, hanging out, balls aren’t really as sensitive as women seem to think. One doesn’t really notice their own balls until skin is folded in some uncomfortable position that must be changed.

    > Do men really care if the woman they marry makes more money than them? Wouldn’t that take the pressure off? Wouldn’t they look forward to a household that didn’t depend on their own bread-winning
    paycheck? Wouldn’t that be sexy?

    Not really sexy, no, I’m pretty neutral to it, it doesn’t matter one way or another, but I wouldn’t go out and look for a woman that makes more money than me. Some men feel that not being able to be the one providing for their family challenges their masculinity.

    > Lesbians.

    We like them.

    > Men really don’t care what women wear, right? I usually get the impression that they couldn’t care less about our clothes so long as our asses look good in them. Because I’m pretty sure fashion is just a corrupted portmanteau of the words ‘feminine’ and ‘masochism.’

    Right.

    > Why do men need to pretend they enjoy playing poker? Most guys suck at poker. Why can’t they just admit they want to get together with their friends and talk about their girlfriends without blowing their spending money to do so?

    Most of us suck at poker, but you can still enjoy something you aren’t good at. This seems awfully judgmental to me. Yes, we also enjoy the social experience of social games and hanging out and talking about shit, but playing the game is also a big part of it. A big part of the testosterone thing is competition, and bonding through competition. Extra incentive to win/disincentive to losing only makes things more interesting.

    Generally, men don’t talk a whole lot about their girlfriends or their feelings around a poker table.

    > What’s a urinal cake? Sounds like one of those disgusting 100-calorie snacks.

    Ha. That is pretty disgusting. You know what a urinal is, correct? Fixture on the wall for peeing into standing up? Well, pee doesn’t smell wonderful, and men peeing in the same place repeatedly, often without taking the risk of touching the ultra-gross handle to flush doesn’t lend itself to wonderful smells. A urinal cake is a small, circular soap-like disk that is there to neutralize smells… I think.

    > And finally, why do men pretend all women can’t park cars, install air conditioners, do math, or read maps? The more men say this bullshit, the more some women actually start to believe it. Why can’t men clean up after themselves, remember important dates or, I don’t know, take their hands out of their own pants for long enough to figure out how to get a woman off? Just a suggestion.

    Umm, bit of an overgeneralization as far as I’m concerned. Most of us don’t actually do this, though it’s entirely possible you’re picking the wrong batch. Not going to respond to it.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ule-Notknow/100001462339078 Ule Notknow

    “Why do men need to pretend they enjoy playing poker?” To get away from MiLady’s constant stream of BS.