Shopping Guide: Gifts For Your Friend’s Baby Shower

Shut the fuck up, babies. Always getting born and requiring me to find gifts for my “friends.” The Misanthropologist is too lazy* to spend valuable drinking living time looking for gifts to bring along to a baby shower. Here’s a guide for jerks like me who resent babies (why do they have so many needs?!) but pity their poor, hapless parents. They have no idea what they’re getting into.

*drunk

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    • nolalola27

      “Your friend may want to immortalize her weight gain, eye bags and misery with a family portrait. You’re so thoughtful.”

      You’re my favorite.

    • jordan

      Hilarious!! Can’t wait to be invited to a baby shower.