Angelina Jolie Hates Americans

I knew it. I knew it. I knew it. Angelina Jolie has taken pretentious to a whole new level and officially declared she hates Thanksgiving, which inadvertently means she hates America. She’s already pulled a Madonna and donned a fake non-American accent, and now she is “grossed out” and refuses to celebrate the most American holiday.

Soooo we kinda sucked and killed a lot of Native Americans. Yes, our country has a terrible past (and sometimes present) of being intolerable and I apologize for us. But those first massacres happened after the first Thanksgiving. You can still love the holiday without hating Americans for being so darn horrible. A “friend” of the star told Popeater:

“To celebrate what the white settlers did to the native Indians, the domination of one culture over another, just isn’t her style. She definitely doesn’t want to teach her multi-cultural family how to celebrate a story of murder.”

Apparently Angelina Jolie is not thankful for freedom or food because that’s what this holiday is about, not murder. Last time I checked (two minutes ago on Wikipedia), Thanksgiving is a holiday that celebrates the fall harvest. This “story of murder,” has nothing to do with Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving was probably the one time we were actually nice to the American Indians because they taught us how to grow corn and we said, “Hey, thanks guys. You’re so helpful! Let’s have a meal together and be BFFs for a hot minute.” So maybe, Angelina Jolie, maybe you should re-take history and learn to love your country.

And apparently she also needs better communication with her lover, Brad Pitt, because he recently told extra their family is celebrating Thanksgiving by “whip[ping] up a turkey somewhere.” I wonder how Brad is taking the news that he’s probably not celebrating the great American holiday tomorrow. Probably not so well. He seems like a turkey carving kind of guy.

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    • Eileen

      This doesn’t seem like a very reliable article.

    • Angela

      This is bs bult by your friend Huvane I guess right????