The holiday season is a great time for romantic dates, because everything is just such a goddamn winter wonderland. But maybe you don’t want romantic dates. Maybe you want more female friends. Female friends who might give you Christmas presents.
Maybe you want to have a pack of friends like the girls on that TV show. The one with all the sluts. You know. Golden Girls.
If that’s the case, we have planned some excellent lady-dates for you to invite female acquaintances on, so that they will love you, and buy you a scented candle for Christmas.
(If you are a lesbian, you should do all of these, but replace the word “platonic” with “sexy”)