• Mon, Dec 6 2010

The Worst Romance Novel Covers Ever

via Samhain Publishing

Are you secretly addicted to romance novels?  If you are, you have to admit some of them can have pretty hilarious titles and covers (in addition to the actual stories).  If you don’t read romance novels but love to make fun of them anyway, read on to see our picks for the top 10 worst romance novel covers of all time.  You’ll realize that the novel you’ve been working on forever has to get published, if a novel such as The Ghost Shrink, The Accidental Gigolo, and The Poltergeist Accountant can get published.

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  • Nancy

    Lame. These aren’t even odd or funny covers, much less the worst ever. This looks like the author picked ten books whose covers she could find on the internet, and then tried to make fun of them. Either stop being so lazy and go do some research, retitle the article “covers I dug up in 10 minutes on google,” or better yet, leave the topic to those who know it. Oh, and go read smartbitchestrashybooks.com to see how this should have been done.

  • Mary

    I second Nancy: Lame. Maybe the creepiest bit was “tasty piece of dark chocolate” or whatever, but this are pretty typical covers and descriptions. :(

  • Alanna

    No Sandra Hill? For shame!

  • Tara Nina

    I took a moment to check out your ‘worst’ ten covers. Since your ‘article’ is an opinion piece, here’s mine. Most authors have limited say in what the cover will be. That is up to the cover art department. As to the covers you’ve chosen, I’m at a loss as to understanding your definition of ‘worst’. Not one of these covers falls into that category. Several are seriously hot, intriguing and eye-catching which is what the author wants in order to tempt a reader to pick up their baby and enjoy the story and not just the cover.

    • Lexi

      BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

  • Emily

    Where can I get “She Blinded me with Science Fiction”???

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    I don’t know why…

  • The Wife from Uncle Walter’s Bad Romance Novel Quotes & Covers

    These covers don’t even make a dip into the pool of absurdity that is romance cover art. And I should know — for the last 2+ years, every night I’ve helped pick the worst of the worst romance novel covers to feature on the blog that my husband, Uncle Walter, and I run (you can click through from Rotten Romance dot com).

    Looking at these, I’m left to wonder how they even got considered, let alone won. Where are the half-bodies? Where are the necks bent at improbable angles? Where are the random animals? Where are the MOOBS? Heck, WHERE IS FABIO???

    While I admit that we might consider using Baby Bonanza (we own it) and All Bottled Up (and possibly Secret Soiree, though the “Quickies” line doesn’t always have usable covers), those would only be if we couldn’t think of a good caption for a worse cover on that particular night. But with a personal library of ~10,000 books at our disposal, that is unlikely to happen anytime soon.

    So… um… No. Just no. I guess I mean something along the lines of “don’t quit your day job” — and leave the snarkiness to the experts.

  • christian

    i’ve seen worse. really. the bad part maybe the choice of plot, but the cover is just fine for me.

    Here are some bad taste covers I find in Goodreads:

    Beaten But Conquered – Bryn Colvin
    Beyond Eden – Kele Moon
    An Original Sin – Nina Bangs
    Howling For My Baby – Beverly Rae
    Coconut Cream Pie – Kate Hill
    Marked – Sean Michael
    Bend Over Big Boy – Kit Zheng etc
    Goddess of the Sea – P.C. Cast (the turquoise ver)
    Riding HEartbreak Road – Kiernan Kelly