• Wed, Dec 8 2010

Would You Keep Your Husband’s Name Post-Divorce?

The issue of whether women should take their husbands’ last names when they get married is a divisive one. (Just check out the comment thread on this post.) But what about keeping a man’s name after the divorce?

Susan Sarandon and Demi Moore are both examples of women who did this, holding on to the names of men they were married to earlier in their careers. Since Susan became famous while using the last name Sarandon, it made sense for her to keep it as she continued her career. I also know a woman who kept her husband’s name post-divorce so that she and her kids would have the same last name and legal paperwork would be less confusing. Would you keep a name post-divorce, or do you know someone who has?

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  • Stef

    I kept my husband’s last name after our divorce, because that was how my friends and coworkers knew me. (I moved to NYC after the divorce, but while we were seperated). It’s also a giant pain in the ass to go through all the name-changing nonsense AGAIN once you’ve already changed it. Too many people to notify, whatever. He said he was fine with me keeping it. Obviously, if I ever get married again though, I’ll change my name then or it will be all kinds of awkward.

  • Jamie B

    My MIL kept her ex-husband’s name after their divorce because of the “same name as the kids” issue.

    I think that, should some kind of apocalypse come along and destroy my own marriage, I would probably keep my husband’s name as well. Partly for our daughter’s sake. But largely because I hated hated HATED my maiden name, and I am rather fond of my married name.

  • Annie

    I kept my married name after my divorce, because changing it in the first place was a pain in the butt and was already established professionally. Besides, “Grzankowski” was too long to write.

  • Eileen

    It would depend. If we’d only been married for a short while, I’d probably go back. But if I’d had the opportunity to establish myself professionally under a married name, then I’d keep it. Friends, I think, can adjust to a new name because they know you’re divorced – but if you’ve become well known among people who don’t actually know you, it’s probably easier just to stick with his name.

  • Harry87

    My mother kept my dad’s last name so that we (children and ma) would all have the same last name.
    I’m engaged and skipping the whole thing by keeping my last name. I guess in that way my mom and I will always have the same last name, which is a bit comforting.

  • Teenie

    My marriage was SO bad, and my stress levels SO high during it (10 years of it) that I was very glad to come back to my maiden name after our divorce. It was like I was reclaiming myself again. My current boyfriend and I have talked about the name thing – if we ever get married, I won’t change my name. I think it’s a bit outdated anyway, besides the fact that I want to keep my identity, and I like my name!

  • Marsha Clark

    My parents were married for 23 years. My mother kept her married last name, but when she was remarried she choose to keep our last name and hyphenate it with her second husbands last name. I wasn’t sure how I felt about her choice at first. Was it a form of betrayal to my father, her ex-husband to keep his last name along side her new husbands? But looking back at it now, I’m glad she did. My mother took my fathers last name when she married him, and my parents gave that name to my brother and I. Even though my mother is no longer married to my father, we are still a family. To me, our shared last name signifies that. It is more than a name, it is a symbol of our ties to each other. My mother and father didn’t want to be married to each other anymore, but they have never stopped wanting to be our parents. Had my mother changed her name post divorce, I think I would have felt as if she was divorcing not just him but my brother and I as well.

  • heartbeet

    When I was married I changed my name from Jane Ann Smith to Jane Smith Jones. When I got divorced, I kept Jane Smith Jones, but I stopped USING the Jones in social circles, going by Jane Smith.

    Since my ex and I have a child, I find this to be nicely effective. While I don’t really use the name, when someone calls me Ms. Jones it remains correct, and I’ve retained the same last name of my child.

    If I ever lose my mind and get remarried though, I would go back to my maiden name, Jane Ann Smith. I’m done with other people’s names.

  • jenna elizabeth

    Just wanted to thank you and let you know how much you have helped me. since my divorce from a21-year marriage. It started out being one of the most difficult things I have ever attempted in my life. After a spell at agbalaxy@gmail.com, My ex sent me an apology email and i sent him a response the next day…within seconds he called me and asked to see me and was crying because he was glad I was talking to him. We are starting out very slowly again as friends (which is difficult for me since I am still deeply in love with him). An interesting note is this is a long distance relationship and your agbalaxy spell still worked!! I am so happy to have him in my life again.
    Thanks again,
    Jenna Elizabeth

  • jenna elizabeth

    Just wanted to thank you and let you know how much you have helped me. since my divorce from a21-year marriage. It started out being one of the most difficult things I have ever attempted in my life. After a spell at agbalaxy@gmail.com, My ex sent me an apology email and i sent him a response the next day…within seconds he called me and asked to see me and was crying because he was glad I was talking to him. We are starting out very slowly again as friends (which is difficult for me since I am still deeply in love with him). An interesting note is this is a long distance relationship and your agbalaxy spell still worked!! I am so happy to have him in my life again.
    Thanks again,
    Jenna Elizabeth

  • Vivian Cosme

    Hello every one there my name is Vivian Cosme from Canada I never believed in love spells or magic until i met this spell caster once when i went to see my friend in Africa this year on a business summit. I meant a man who’s name is DR ONIHA he is really powerful and could help cast spells to bring back one’s gone, lost, misbehaving lover and magic money spell or spell for a good job or luck spell .I’m now happy & a living testimony cos the man i had wanted to marry left me 3 weeks before our wedding and my life was upside down cos our relationship has been on for 3 years. I really loved him, but his mother was against us and he had no good paying job. So when i met this spell caster, i told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him. At first i was undecided, skeptical and doubtful, but i just gave it a try. And in 9 days when i returned to Canada, my boyfriend (now husband) called me by himself and came to me apologizing that everything had been settled with his mom and family and he got a new job interview so we should get married. I didn’t believe it cos the spell caster only asked for my name and my boyfriends name and all i wanted him to do. Well we are happily married now and we are expecting our little kid, and my husband also got the new job and our lives became much better. His email is :onihaspiritualtemple@yahoo.com