• Fri, Dec 10 2010

Beauty Treatments Of The Damned: Toe Shortening

Cinderella’s step-sisters had the right idea after all. Or at least, Audrey thinks that they did. Uncomfortable about the length of one of her toes, she told Nightline:

“All the girls are wearing cute high heels, open toes and they look pretty, and me — I have to wear always closed shoes because I feel like they’re staring at my long toe.”

And that is why Audrey has a truly lovely collection of Christian Louboutin round toe pumps. She looks very pretty in them. And then everyone was happy and everything was okay, the end.

No, that’s not what happened. What happened was that Audrey paid a podiatrist $3,000 to saw out two millimeters of bone to make her toe shorter. They then inserted a titanium rod to pin her toe back together. So Prince Charming won’t see the blood in the shoe!

Unfortunately, some medical professionals don’t believe in happily ever after. The procedure is “largely frowned upon by The American Podiatric Medical Association and officially opposed by the American Orthopedic Foot and Ankle Society (AOFAS) because of risks and complications of the operation. Potential problems include permanent nerve damage, infection, scarring, a recurrence of the deformity that was supposedly fixed and chronic pain when wearing not just high heels, but all shoes, according to the AOFAS.”

But if that’s the case, don’t worry. There will be anthropomorphic mice aorund to carry you to the castle.

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  • Soos

    EWWW!!!