Glamour Retracts Everything Mean They Ever Said About Your Hair

You know how every month, you open up Glamour and you flip through the pages, and you try to imagine a world in which your hair could pull off the styles they suggest? Like if you could stylishly let the roots grow out and not look like you should be walking out of a gas station restroom barefoot? Or if you could do the age-old, impossible sloppy bun without looking like you stuck your finger in an electrical socket?

Yeah…me too. Well, it turns out that all that worry was for not, because this month, Glamour suggests that the hottest new thing to do to your hair is nothing at all!

“Your #1 trick for gorgeous hair…Leave it alone! No blow-dryer. No flatiron. Just make whatever you were born with work.”

That’s right, ladies — if you have been crying yourself to sleep every night because Glamour has told you repeatedly, for years, that whatever kind of hair you have is wrong until you make it straight, curly, frizzy, poufy, or crimped, you can now come out of your spiral of self-loathing because they are there to tell you that now, per them, you have permission to let your hair do whatever the fuck it wants! You are A-OK just as you are!

Oh…unless you have straight hair. Yeah, sorry. That’s the only thing that’s kind of…well, not OK. Cause they were just talking about going natural if you have the texture to pull it off. Like, you can put down the straightener, Jewish girls! No more relaxer necessary, African-American women! Sorry if we made you feel bad! Oops!

But yeah, you in the back with the straight hair? Not sure what to tell you. Although Glamour does offer this suggestion:

Suffering from curl envy? If you have at least a teensy bit of texture, air-drying will help boost it…Absolutely zero natural wave? Get a cut with lots of layers, try a texturing spray and crunch hair while you dry it [and you will still have no waves, and, well, I guess that's when you just have to start hating yourself. Sorry.*]

*Paranthetical remarks added by The Gloss

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    • Maya

      I think thats s***… I mean first of all i read a magazine cause of articels like this, so they can tell me what I could do. And am not taking it personally. It is just a suggestion. and second, there is like seven people in the world whose hair looks good without doing nothing to it. :-)


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    • Alex

      The article was obviously written under the assumption that curly hair drys into perfect curls not 1 perfect curl, a few okay curls and some straight pieces.

      Even people with low maintenance hair (like me) do something to their hair ,like putting a cream or balm in it. Virtually no one walks out of the shower with fabulous hair.

    • Janna – The Best Red Dress

      My word that type steals every idea. “Glamour” is only spewing that because African American women have already started putting down the Fiery Tools of Torture (flat iron) and the creamy crack (relaxers).

      I think they should keep their flat hair mantra, most of us know better and don’t read the tripe that is “Glamour” or “Cosmo”

      There are also plenty of regular ordinary white women with curly hair too. They’ve hid it as well, not only African Americans and Jewish women.

      P.S. Now that model has a lovely head of hair! Nice to see a change from the ordinary and plain.

    • Danielle

      I’m one of those seven people in the world that has fabulous hair all on its own. I do nothing to my hair at all (I don’t even brush it. I do a quick finger comb and I’m all set) besides washing it regularly and going for a trim every three to four months. I can even put it in a sloppy bun and I look great. It took me a long time to realize I didn’t need to fuck with my hair at all. I’ve had every bad hair cut/color/perm in existence. I’ve done horrible things to my hair all on the guidance of those stupid glamour magazines.