In the past, you and I have talked at great length about people we don’t want sex and relationship advice from. The conclusion we’ve come to, as I understand it, is that we actually don’t want sex and relationship advice from anyone, because no one knows what kind of sex and/or relationship you want better than you.
But it seems as though our message hasn’t reached the masses yet, ladies. Because no matter how hard we try to tell people that we don’t want their advice, those willing to dispense it seem to crawl out of the wordwork like…well, like babies crawl out of the wombs of women who believe in letting God decide how many kids they have.
And speaking of, guess who the latest person to try his hand at this age-old tradition of handing out unsolicited advice is? Jim Bob Duggar, of TLC’s “19 Kinds and Counting.”
On TLC’s website, Jim Bob lists ten ways to improve your relationship. Let’s take a closer look at some of them, shall we?
#10: Don’t let the sun go down on your wrath, If you have any conflict, resolve them as quickly as you can the day it happens before the sun goes down. First of all, conflict is singular. Second of all, the other way to handle this is to fight until you’re both so exhausted that you fall into bed and pass out, which really makes for a surprisingly sound sleep. Then when you wake up, it’s like nothing ever happened!
#9: The closer a husband and wife get to God, the closer they get to each other. The farther away they get form God, the farther away they get from each other. And if they are atheists or agnostic, they are doomed to walk this life in miserable, depressed solitude until their untimely death, at which point they will find themselves burning forever in the fires of hell.
#5: Ask your wife what home repair projects would be important to her, and be sure to get them done! Actually, I think that’s awesome advice. Get thee to the leaky faucet and tighten, man!
#3: Praise your wife and children ten times more than you correct them. Women, like dogs, learn via repetition — and live to please you. Praising your wife will let her know she has succeeded.
#1: Be fruitful and multiply. Ignore scientific evidence that questions whether couples who have children are actually happier than those who don’t. Besides, your wife’s womb belongs to you (and to God!).