Bad in Bed With John Mayer

Welcome to Bad in Bed, where we discuss sex and relationship advice that we don’t want, and the people we don’t want it from. Today’s topic is John Mayer.

So. You’re John Mayer. I’m not really sure what you do, other than date utterly unthreatening white women with staunchly mediocre levels of talent, ranging in age from 20-40. You do seem to have a type, and we commend you for that.

But you, sir, have no place dishing out sex advice, mostly because none of us (well, not me at least) want to fancy ourselves the second coming of Jessica Simpson, Taylor Swift or Jennifer Aniston. All lovely women, all thoroughly uninteresting.

But, as is almost always the case with our Bad in Bed , that doesn’t stop you from dispensing advice anyway. According to the New York Post, Mayer was overheard at a party telling a female fan that one day she will make someone very happy, if only she talks dirty in bed.

Not bad advice, I guess, but again, if I were going to take some famous dude’s suggestion about what to do in bed, I’d rather take it from somebody who was fucking women who are a lot more interesting. Someone who was fucking, say, Courtney Love, or Joan Jett, or Condoleeza Rice.

You know? Wouldn’t you like to hear what Kurt Cobain might have to say about the ways in which you might one day make a partner happy? Well, you never will. But even in death, he’s better than John Mayer.

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    • Sophia

      IT’S JOHN MAYER. get a fact checker thanks.

      • cotton

        and i’m pretty sure joan jett is gay…understand the articles point but still

    • Tableu

      Great point!! also, how would he know what makes or keeps a man happy in bed? Name one committed long-term relationship he has sustained for more than 3 years…. this is another case when Mayer needs to shut his trap!

    • kristie

      To be kristen stewart under rob pattinson, i could die a happy person!!!!!!

    • Gary

      What a completely dog shit article, I can’t believe people write this crap for a living

    • DS

      This article just proves that you are an utterly uniteresting female who writes a stupid blog full of uniteresting stuff. I bet you are 40, lonely and can’t get a date. All these people you are dishing have made themselves much bigger careers that you – so please don’t feel like you are a higher authority to dish dirt on ccelebrities. So sad!

    • KateII

      He was probably joking – or flirting at the time. Really, unless you were there and heard HOW he said it, lay off. And if he really does like dirty talk in bed, that’s not the worst thing you could say about a guy. Now, I’d ask HIM to parade around the room naked for a while, because I’m more visual. Then I’d want to play with his hair and kiss him some, and run my hands all over him. And he could hum a little if he wanted to… (Isn’t this more fun to read than the article?)