• Wed, Dec 29 2010

The Do’s and Don’ts of a Facebook New Year’s

Earlier today, Lindsay suggested that you keep your New year’s resolutions to yourself, because they’re bad ideas, and also because you’ll inevitably fail, and then you’ll feel stupid for having announced them to the world (I paraphrase).

Well, there are a few other things to keep in mind when it comes to a tasteful Facebook New Year’s, and here they are:

Do
Go out and have a great time.

Don’t
Do drunken status updates. They’re like drunk dials for the whole world to see.

Do
Kiss someone under the mistletoe.

Don’t
Kiss someone who’s still in high school (I’m only familiar with this wily Facebook “don’t” because I know someone who did that once, and we all kind of lost respect for her after that).

Do
Attend a party in a glittery miniskirt.

Don’t
Attend a party in a glittery miniskirt without any underwear. You’re not Paris. You will not become a celebrity for flashing beav.

Do
Attempt a special hairstyle that you read about in one of your glossy women’s magazines.

Don’t
Attempt a major dye job. You really don’t want to start off a new year wondering if people are snickering behind your back and calling you firecrotch. Doesn’t bode well for the ol’ 2011 self-esteem.

Do
Document the evening in a few tasteful snapshots.

Don’t
Document the evening in 243 not tasteful photos, throughout which you deteriorate from posing skillfully with your girlfriends to puking on your iPhone in the middle of Times Square as your eyeliner makes its way down to your chin.

In other words, ladies, let’s end 2010 on a good note. Let’s not make fools of ourselves online, because making a fool of yourself should be between you and the other 20,000 people in the middle of New York City. Leave a little to the imagination when it comes to your life. Cultivate mystery. Make people curious. In other words, keep it classy, Gloss readers.

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  • Leah

    These are wise, wise words. In fact, I think you could take out “New Years”, and have this apply to pretty much any event (wedding, night on the town, conference, time alone in your bedroom, etc.).