• Tue, Jan 4 2011

Point/Counterpoint: Should You Keep An Apartment To House Your Shoes?

Rational Jen and Asshole Jen are ready to tackle the issues that define our times. Again. Today, we’re talking about the fact that Vogue Japan editor Anna Dello Russo (left) owns 4,000 pairs of shoes, and has a separate apartment to keep them and her clothing in. A whole. Separate. Apartment. Does this strike anyone as sensible?

Asshole Jen: THE ANSWER IS YES THIS IS THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER HEARD IN MY LIFE I WANT TO GO SINGLE WHITE FEMALE ON HER DISCUSSION OVER.

Rational: But she has no human companionship. I mean look at this:

She told The Guardian that her addiction was responsible for the brevity of her six month marriage to an assistant photographer.

‘He said to me: “Where is the space for me?” I said: “There is no space for you.”

‘He says: “Where is the space in the closet?” “There is no space in the closet!” He says: “Are you crazy?” Then he left.’

That’s kind of sad, right?

Asshole Jen: SAD THAT SHE MARRIED A DOOFUS WHO COULDN’T UNDERSTAND HER ROCKING AWESOMENESS.

Rational Jen: Okay, fair point. He clearly knew nothing about who she was and what she loved. But still, after you pass, say, your 1,000th pair of shoes, doesn’t it seem like you’re just trying to fill a void? In some deep cavernous space inside yourself where bunions never grow?

Asshole Jen: Nope. Sounds like we should kill her in her sleep, and move into her apartment(s). And then be her! No one will ever know!

Rational Jen: What are you talking about?

Asshole Jen: Think about it, Boring Jen. We have an apartment where the bathroom sink – for reasons somewhat unknown to us – spews peas. We don’t eat peas. This woman has an apartment full of clothing. Like, this is French revolution stuff, you know? Let’s rock this. Let’s steal her life. We’ll do it all subtle-like. We’ll dye our hair first.

Rational Jen: Her shoes – they wouldn’t even fit us.

Asshole Jen: Her 250 Tuxedo Jackets would. BY GOD WE’D MAKE THEM FIT.

Rational Jen: Look, she probably lives in Japan. The apartments are legitimately very small there. Maybe she has two apartments and they’re each 600 sq. feet. That seems not insane then.

Asshole Jen: No. She’s a decadent succubus. She’s also a Vogue editor. Trust me – both the apartments are big. Gonna be so awesome when we steal her life. You can have one and I can have one and we can meet in the middle like Benjamin Button.

Rational Jen: That doesn’t even make any sense.

Asshole Jen: Fuck you, buying hair dye.

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  • Eileen

    If she can pay for the shoes and the apartment on her own salary, then I have no problem with it. I can’t afford to, so unfortunately my shoes and clothing are relegated to six dresser drawers and a closet. But I’m not going to begrudge her a perfectly legal habit that harms no one, probably helps her career, and keeps her happy. And her ex-husband is crazy – did he never even visit her home before they married? Did he really think she was going to change?

  • Redo My Shoe

    Haha, this post was hilarious. I work with Christian Louboutin shoes on a daily basis and I must say, even with the 8 pairs I have now, they take up a lot of room. Like I’m so afraid they might fall over and damage the shoe that I have to allocate a certain amount of space for them. So I definitely empathize with that woman. But having 4,000 pairs of shoes is absolutely ridiculous. Even 200 pairs is excessive. Oh well, let’s hope she wears them.

    http://redomyshoe.blogspot.com/

  • L

    I agree with Asshole Jen, shut up, Boring Jen. That is the greatest idea ever.
    Except I never go anywhere and am never invited to parties, so I would never get the opportunity to wear so many clothes-but I guess I could wear them around the house. And while sleeping.

  • Goldie

    vogue editors = mugatu
    if i were a rich beautiful megalomaniac surrounded by minions in hot pants you bet i’d need an apartment just for my shoes.

    (i bet if she’s sane enough to part with that stuff in 20 years her wardrobe would pay for the apartment several times over)