10 More Terrible Beauty Product Names

Recently, we listed some of the worst beauty product names of all time (Chicken Poop lip balm, anyone?). Some of the comments on the post were so funny that we just had to do a follow-up with even more absurdly monikered products. Enjoy (or, you know, don’t).

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    • Marvy


      Shania Twain uses Udderly Smooth!!!

    • appalled

      that not soap, radio name and the story behind it is the most retarded thing ever. well. that I’ve seen today anyway.

    • JEeBus!

      Yeah…using an inside joke that no one in the world understands is probably not the best marketing ploy… might want to go back to the drawing board on that one. (Imagine having to explain that to EVERYONE? And their reactions are probably all “Ohh. Huh.”)

    • Colleen

      I tried Nad’s once…it was terrible…I didn’t think of how bad the name was at the time, but I’m giggling now (foul sense of humour).
      Also, have you heard of Crack Cream? There’s a commercial with an old dude, completely straight-faced, “Try my Crack Cream!” It is an intense cream for dry, cracked winter hands & feet, but that’s not what comes to mind! LOL

      • Lilit Marcus

        It’s like product manufacturers want me to keep following up this post forever.

    • MelbaToast

      I have to admit, I love Udderly Smooth. It’s great for winter and dry climates, plus I’m sensitive to a lot of the extra additives in most lotions, and if you buy the original Udderly Smooth cream, it doesn’t have all that stuff (because, you know, you don’t want extra chemicals in your milk). I find it interesting you wouldn’t put that stuff in a product for cows, but hey, it’s okay to absorb it into human skin!

      It does kind of smell like old lady. But it’s a better name than Bag Balm, as far as the udder irritation alleviation products goes.

    • AlexaBEe

      uh the gorrila snot stuff is widly popular and i like the name so whateverrrr:)