• Mon, Jan 10 2011

Footie Pajamas. Why? No, Really, Why?

Let’s cut right to the chase: how do you go to the bathroom? You peel off the entire garment? When you wake up at 4:00 in the morning? Really? That requires too many motor skills. You’ll be entirely awake, and then you’ll never be able to get back to sleep. Or you will, but it will be irritating to try to do so.

Or is there maybe a flap? A flap for going to the toilet? Oh, that’s gross. That’s just gross.

What if you want to sleep with someone? You’ll look so sexy, and yet, you’ll be entirely imprisoned by your massive pajama cocooon. No more burglary! I guess this assumes most of your sexual partners try to initiate congress while you are asleep, but, well, you haven’t told me that’s not true.

In conclusion, I think Jumpin Jammerz are a plot to make you sleep deprived and undersexed.

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